#islaaa

Emerson:

I don't know how blatantly obvious this answer was going to be, but I just think she has a lot of resilience. Her ability to go through trauma and severe addiction and end up clean and okay on the other end (after SO MANY relapses) is one of my favorite things about her for sure! I mean, clearly I used her to cope with my own shit. And addiction is something that took over most of my life for years (not to make this about me. ick). And seeing someone go through all that shit and still be a sexy bitch in the end is a hell yeah. Even if it's fictional, it's helpful for my own peace of mind! I look up to her to help myself, no doubt. (even if she can be super insane at times). We're too similar. 😭

But on a less serious note, she can make ANYTHING look fashionable. She usually dresses pretty simple, but like, it's because she knows she always looks good lol. She will always get compliments no matter what she is wearing. Maybe her hotness is something I also love lmao.

Isla:

I think it would be the way she carries herself. She handles everything with such confidence. And she knows how to be classy when she needs to be. I love that for her. She also is really smart and good at setting her mind to things and getting it done even if she comes across as very clumsy and ditsy lmaoo. She's my productive queen. Hell yeah.

She also is so expressive in the way she presents herself. I love that about her too. She has like a million things to wear at all times, and I love that her and Emerson are opposites in that way hehe.

Luca:

My favorite thing is that bro got revenge and found some closure from it. And I think that's pretty cool lol. But what do I admire about him? Probably his ability to read people. He ALWAYS knows what's going on. You don't have to say a word to him, and he will still know. I wish I was better at that lol. 😭

***

context: Diana had hosted her birthday party in her bigass house. Emerson and Isla were basically the only people still there. woo. I'm so high and I can't remember if it's already mentioned below hehe. (everyone is 21-22 btw).

After many hours had passed, the stars made themselves visible in the night to everyone who wished to view them. The guests at Diana's party had mostly gone home. But she was happy to kick out the remaining strangers, so she could finally get some sleep. She didn't really care what Isla and Emerson did during this time, as long as they were quiet. They were her friends, and she trusted them, even if she and Emerson didn't always get along.

The moon and a couple porch lights were the only sources that illuminated the large pool behind the house. Isla found herself sitting on the edge, dangling her feet and making small waves in the clear water. She was lost in a deep, deep thought, but she wasn't sure why it was eating away at her. Why now? She knew it couldn't be ignored, though she wished she could run as far away as possible from the thought. She felt an urge to finally tell her best friend how she felt, and she was nervous as hell.

A few moments later, Emerson stumbled out of the house, her long black hair slightly messy and taken down from the style she had arrived in. She was wearing a mini denim skirt with her dark red bikini top. Typical for her. She always looked stunning, and everyone knew it. Though, she ignored every single attempt at a shot. Isla was starting to believe that, maybe, she just wasn't interested in any of that at all. Maybe she just liked looking good. Maybe she just wasn't into many guys at all.

They both startled each other, which caused Isla to whip around. She had already guessed that Emerson was going to touch whatever substances were at this party. (Whether Diana knew about them or not). Emerson’s eyes met Isla sitting by the pool's edge. She was still in her bikini, and suddenly Emerson was hit with a wave of nervousness, overthinking everything that she had just tried to forget.

They've been somewhat flirtatious with each other all evening. Emerson wasn't sure why. Maybe it was just one of those playful jokes that best friends pull sometimes, but still, this time felt different. And now that everyone else was gone, she felt out of place. She wasn't quite sure what to do. There was now this weirdness between them, but she wasn't even sure if Isla had been experiencing it too. Or if she was aware of anything that had happened tonight at all. It could be all in her head for fuck’s sake. So she decided to ignore it as much as possible.

Emerson paused for a moment, then she took a deep breath and sauntered over, her green eyes scanning the peaceful scene before her. "You know, I've never seen someone look so at home in the quiet after a party. Most people just, like get depressed or go to sleep, or something." She said with a grin, trying to sound nonchalant, but she was so drunk and high that she had no idea how those words actually sounded coming out of her mouth.

Isla looked up, her smile widening as she saw her best friend approach. "I guess I just prefer the silence sometimes," she said, her voice soft from her draining energy. "The party was fun, but it's a bit too much for me sometimes." She looked down into the pool, her reflection rippling on the water's surface. The light from the moon painted her in an ethereal glow that made Emerson's heart flutter. Why? Why Isla, and why now?! It's probably just the alcohol and drugs. At least it's what she is going to believe. For now.

Emerson let out a defeated sigh, then quickly readjusted herself. "Yeah, I get that," she replied, her tone mellowing as she watched Isla. She kind of muttered her words. "Sometimes, it feels like I'm just going through a long, fucked up simulation, you know? So many abrupt starts and stops, but somehow you get used to it.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a blunt. "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" She slurred her words a little.

“God, another? She's already on mars.” Isla thought.

She then nodded, a small smile playing on her lips as she watched Emerson light up. “I don't mind.” But it was getting to her, not the smoke, but everything Emerson does. She lights her up. She's never felt so warm around somebody, and it makes her feel sad, or weird, and anything but content. For the love of god, she was her best friend, and this night felt so different.

The smell of the sweet smoke drifted over to her, mingling with the chlorine from the pool. She stood up and tentatively stepped closer, curiosity piqued. "I've never smoked a blunt before. Is it good?," she admitted awkwardly, trying to distract herself. (It did not work). “I’ve only hit a couple of carts in highschool, but I don't remember much about it.” She twirled her long, purple hair, trying to avoid her own weirdness that she felt.

Emerson took a hit and offered it to her. "It's pretty nice.” she said, smiling and looking at Isla with heavy, peaceful eyes. "When everything is too much, it helps me slow down." And when she said that, Isla felt those familiar butterflies creeping up her body once again for whatever god awful reason there was that existed on this planet. God, why was everything she's doing making her head spin?!

Isla hesitated for a moment, her eyes flickered with indecisiveness before she reached out and took it. She brought it to her lips and inhaled, feeling the warmth spread through her body as she coughed gently, a little nauseated. "I've always liked dancing better," she said with a small laugh, passing it back to Emerson. "It's my way of escaping without the hangover." She paused. “Or, I just start doing my makeup.” She felt a hint of warmth reach her cheeks. “Somehow, even simply just changing my appearance helps me so much.” She let out another small, awkward laugh.

Emerson's eyes sparkled with amusement as she took another hit, then handed it back to Isla. "Well, it's a hell of a lot healthier than my choices," she chuckled. "That's cool though. I wish I found escapism in things like that, but I end up just missing this kind of relief instead. Music is great though, and you're such a good dancer! I'm jealous." She said, slurring her words again.

Isla giggled, her cheeks flushing slightly as she took another cautious puff. "I've seen you dance," she said, her voice carrying the weight of a memory. "You're pretty good at it. There's something so…” She thought for a second. “You're just really pretty doing anything.” She felt her face get warm as she said this, already worrying that she had said too much. It was pretty normal in hindsight, but still.

Emerson leaned against the pool's edge, a light blush forming on her cheeks, and her eyes never leaving Isla's. "You think so?" she laughed, a hint of vulnerability showing through her cocky facade. She took the blunt back and took a longer drag, blowing the smoke out in a slow, deliberate stream. "It's just not something that helps me, I guess."

Isla frowned, her expression looking frustrated as she handed it back. "I understand, but you shouldn't have to hide from life literally all the time." She awkwardly stepped closer to Emerson, their fingertips brushing together as they shared the blunt.

Emerson's gaze searched Isla's, "You make it sound so easy," she murmured, taking another drag before handing it over. "The alcohol and the drugs and the... the whatever. It's the only way I know how to feel real. Sometimes I don't feel like a person at all.” She said grumpily and sighed, crossing her arms. "I hate it."

Isla nodded, understanding in her eyes. "I get that," she said softly. "But maybe we can find a better escape together. Something that doesn't leave us feeling shitty the next day." She smiled at her as she took another puff, the smoke curling around them like the shared secret between them.

Emerson studied her for a moment, slightly zoned out until her thoughts came back to her. "The hell do you have in mind?" She asked, breaking the silence she had caused.

Isla leaned against the railing, her eyes never leaving Emerson's. "How about we go somewhere more secretive?" She suggested, her voice soft but with anticipation. "We could go somewhere quieter with just the two of us." She seemed giddy.

She took a moment to consider it, her eyes darting from Isla to the pool and back again. "Wait, what? How high are you?" she stuttered, confused and too drunk and high to think much about it.

Isla took the last hit and put out the blunt, a knowing smile playing on her lips, grabbing Emerson's hand and pulling her away from the pool. "Come on!" She was finally feeling more normal again around Emerson, but those deeper feelings continued on with her as she led her to the woods.

Emerson gasped. "I wasn't finished with that- whatever." She mumbled. She was curious where Isla was going with this, and she was curious where she was actually going to take her. But she did know that she enjoyed the feeling of holding her hand right now. She had almost forgotten about everything by now.

They both felt a strange mix of anticipation and comfort, like something was going to happen. The cool night air kissed their skin as they walked away from the house with the sound of their footsteps being the only noise to break the stillness.

***

okay that's all for now i'm really high and will finish later (maybe) byebye