#isitsomeonenew

Alarion didn’t mean to find out. In all honesty, he hadn’twanted to know. The problem was simple: he was friends with Leliana. There wasvery little that happened in Skyhold that Leliana didn’t somehow predict would occurdays prior to it happening. Somehow.

Their friendship had many benefits. One of the few downsidesmeant that nothing really surprised Alarion anymore.

Which is too bad because Dorian had planned to surprise him.

He could still act surprised, right? It couldn’t be thatdifficult.

Alarion frowned, staring himself down in the mirror. Heclosed his eyes and when he opened them, he made them widen and his mouth drop.“Oh! What a surprise! No…” A single brow raised. An amused smirk. “What’s this?”

He held that expression, looking it carefully over in themirror. It was believable looking. It could work.

Nodding, he let it fall to instead let a real smile stretchacross his face. It was so sweet ofDorian to think of him. What a kind man. So beautiful. So funny. So lovely. So beyond thoughtful.

No, sappy thoughts later. Right now…

He opened his eyes a little wider than they needed to be.One raised eyebrow. A small curl of the lips. “What’s this?”

Alarion watched as his face dropped into a look of puredetermination. “Alright! I got this!”

But perhaps he said it a tad too loudly because a voicedrifted on the other side of the door. “Amatus?”

After jumping a little, Alarion allowed himself a smallchuckle before he emerged from the bathroom. When he opened the door he sawDorian standing in their room with his arms crossed and expression amused. Hewas blocking the desk from view. “Oh, hello ma’arla.”He said brightly. “I thought you were studying the Liberalum for a few morehours.”

The mage raised a single brow, a smirk on his face. “Whenyou’ve finally free of that dreaded War Room? Please, amatus. You know me better than that.”

“Have something planned, do you?” He asked, hoping hisquestion sounded like a question instead of an expectation.

“Something like that.” Dorian side-stepped out of the way toreveal that there was a new book on his desk.

“What’s this?”

He held that expression for a while, feeling a bead of sweatrun down his cheek. This was convincing. Definitely convincing.

Dorian stared at him for a moment before he chuckled andshook his head. “I’ll never understand how you can play The Game so well whilebeing such a terrible liar.”

“What? Me, lying? What would I be lying about?”

“Your facial expression seems to be frozen, amatus. Did Leliana tell you?”

“What? Tell… what?” Alarion floundered, looking around theroom as if it would somehow give him the inspiration to act a little better.

A warm chuckle was the only response he got. With a sigh, Alarionglanced back to see him approaching slowly. “Okay, she mentioned in her reportthat the book about the 2nd Blight you ordered was in. I sort ofput-two-and-two together. But you clearly wanted it to be a surprise and I didn’twant to ruin it for you.”

Grinning, Dorian, now in front of the elf, reached forward andpulled their hips together. “Well did she mention I also stole strawberriesfrom the kitchen?”

Alarion felt his mouth drop a little and his voice wasgushing out before he realized he was speaking. “You did?”

Dorian laughed just before he moved in for a kiss. “Knew Icould surprise you.”

Alarion missed Dorian.

It was pathetic, really. The mage was only gone for fourdays to do some shopping and finish some business in Val Royeaux. And with thatvisiting such-and-such-noble from Nevarra coming tomorrow that he had to greet,Alarion had no choice but to be left behind and Skyhold.

Still, he did have the next 48 minutes free before someone(Leliana, probably) would come looking for him. And during that time he wasgoing to mope and there wasn’t anyone that could tell him he couldn’t!

Well… actually Sera, Cole, Bull, Cassandra, or Varric could.

At but they weren’t there and Alarion was going to have his pitifulmoment of moping curled up on Dorian’s chair because it smelled like him.

And so, he did just that. Bringing his knees to his chin, hecurled up and then fell sideways so his cheek could rest against the cushion. Again,a distant part of him tried to warn himself that this sort of thing was patheticand stupid, but he could bring himself to care.

As he sat there staring at the red and wondering what Dorianwas doing right at the moment, a piece of parchment caught his eye. There wasbarely a corner of it sticking out of under the cushion. Barely, barelynoticeable despite Alarion’s face being literally only an inch from it.

Alarion straightened his body out and grabbed at the paper. Itcame after a little tug. After unfolding it, he saw quickly that it was someform of list. Curious, he read the title:

“Things He Doesn’t Know”

With a start, Alarion scanned the list quickly, but didn’tread any of it enough for it to process. His heart was pounding so loudly thathe couldn’t think.

He blinked and he saw red.

What bastard stoleDorian away from him?

Fingers shaking the paper, he read the first line.

1.             I stare at him before I fall asleep. His facejust looks far too peaceful. It helps me sleep better than I ever have in mylife.

Alarion felt his breath return, then hitch, then returned again.Tears, that he tried to ignore, threated to burst from a combination betweenrelief and an overwhelming flood of something between a mix of gratitude andlove.

2.             When his eyes grow big and doe-like, my resolve turnsto mush. I have no way to counteract such bright green eyes.

3.             When he uses me as a pillow, I love the feelingof his weight on me. He is alive, and he is here in that moment with me and notwith anyone else.

4.             I don’t understand how he is so selfless. Itmakes me want to be a better person for him. Because of him.

5.             He is the best person I have ever met.

6.             That little noise he makes whenever his ear getstouched does more to unravel me than I’d ever care to admit.

7.             He’s all I ever think about, constantly. I don’tunderstand it and, yet, I don’t want it to stop.

8.             When we read together, he sometimes falls asleepon me. I adore it to little pieces, but I also worry he doesn’t sleep enough.It disquiets me more than I care to admit.

9.             He trusts me more than anyone has ever trustedme in my entire life. I would do anything to never betray that trust. Iwill keep my promise.

10.          Protecting him is more important than anythingelse.

11.          When he tells me he loves me, I don’t alwaysbelieve him. I want to, but he is too good in many different ways. How can thebest men I know love me?

12.          I don’t know what I feel for him. I just knowthat I couldn’t lose him.

13.          I don’t understand what I feel anymore. The listis supposed to help, but it doesn’t.

14.          I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be able to tellhim any of it.

Alarion let out a sniff, no longer able to hold back thetears running down his face. He pulled the paper away so he would get tears onit and let himself blubber, not caring who saw him for once.

After a good five minutes had passed, he carefully foldedthe note. He considered keeping it (framing it, reading it every morning… okay,all day every day), but understood that if Dorian had wanted him to know thesethings, he would have left the note on his desk.

He would wait. He didn’t care if it took years to actuallyhear these things. Or, really, if he ever heard them at all. It didn’t matter.Alarion already knew.

Carefully, Alarion lifted up the cushion and gave a smalljump. There were dozens of notes!

He paused for a moment, wondering if it would be consideredhighly nosey to read them.

A quick glance around showed that no one was looking.

Besides, he could see one was titled: “The Times He Only Smiledat Me”.

Alarion didn’t have to be told. He loved Dorian. He loved him and was willing to wait until the mage could say these things no matter how long it took, if the words ever came at all.

He didn’t even have to know.

…But he wanted to.