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When you have to lift at 11, but you have juries at 3 😂 Some days, training can sometimes feel like a chore so I decided to change it up a bit. @powerliftingclubgsu @rednosegainzdeer #suit #axlepress #jujimufuaintgotshitonme #donttake2scoops #ishouldntevenbehere #hightowerplan
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Why am I here?
What purpose do I serve anymore? Why bother? Am I truly only in this world to be used and thrown to the side? I mean nothing to them. Any of them. If people find it so easy to get over me then maybe I shouldn't even be here. I don't want to do this anymore. Can anyone help me? ANYONE???
I think i could use something between dead silence or the sound of vacuum right now.
I wake up every morning always feeling the same, wanting to feel like I deserve a place in this world. I never feel good enough, except at school I feel at ease when I'm with my friends. Talking to the people who care about me, even though I'm a little odd. I feel a bit better but then I start to subconsciously doubt myself. "Why do they want to be my friends, there are plenty of other people who are a lot better than I am". I know that all of my problems are caused by never thinking I'm good enough for anything, except I can't feel any other way. I try my best at so many things and I've never really felt good enough about anything. Out of all the things I could have been I'm just 'this'. Ever since I had surgery I've non-stop thought about how terrible it was, it made me feel socially degraded, as though I was inadequate to be around the people I used to enjoy being around. I used to love going out with people but now I don't even want to leave home... Every day at school acting like nothing is ever wrong, pretending to be the happiest carefree guy in the world because I couldn't deal with any of it. I wanted to tell people how I felt but I don't want to 'bother them'. If I keep going I'll always feel like a failure, but I just don't know how to feel any other way....
