#iscolated

I got into a huge fight with my friends... to be honest im not even sure why we got into the fight or what it was about... basically i was very depressed.. and i started seeing the school psychologist... And they got really mad at me for wanting to see someone else about my problem rather then telling them.... Why are friends so confusing? That incident nearly lead me to kill myself... I dont know why i even refer to them as my friend. They are so superficial... Anyway this summer my other friend is leaving... so ill have nobody for my last two years in high school. I hate everyone in my grade. I hang out with some seniors and juniors but they will soon be off and ill be left alone... I dont want to be left alone.... I need people... I really do... Eveyone in my grade is horrible... absolutely horrible... They are backstabbing people like my oold friends and they just care about what is in their best interest... screw the rest... I dont know what to do... i have the option of moving to the USA but i want to do the IB.... in the USA they dont have the IB - at least not in the high school id be going to... Im not sure which is more important... being happy or having a good education... it all boils down to that... My friend (the one whos leaving) told me to take art... so id be busy all the time so i wouldnt have time to think about these girls... and this situation... the other day my friend Sandy (the one whos leaving) was absent... i felt so alone... we had a grade assembly and guess what.... i was isolated off into the corner... alone.. with no one to chat with or talk to... I dont know what i should do... i really dont... and at lunch time i saw those girls and i felt like crying, and beating them in a pulp... we dont talk anymore... one of them uses me in physics... and since i want to have a clean concious i let her... the other day i apologized... just hopping that "what comes around goes around" and the looks they gave me and the way they answered me as if they were better than me made me feel crappier than ever..... i dont know what to do....