#is not something

Because if realism is what you're really aiming for, then make sure realism is what we get🤷‍♀️

seriously oh my god im IN LOVE 

that whenever something happens in my life, be it majestic or tragic, I have this desire to write. Possibly whimsical in appearance, yet depressing in its meaning, hidden with minute traces of other true meanings in my life. Yes it may seem stupid for me to write about my own life into my poems, but who hasn't? and I don't have much at all to keep a secret, so why not just spread it around like the wildfire I live for a life? I have nothing to be embarrassed about that I haven't told, nor does it even seem to me that my previous secrets are now known to most of the people I know, who utterly don't communicate me about what they think about me, thus the dysfunctional social life I lead, or rather the shadowed figure of a human I thought to have believed was something I couldn't change and eventually gave in to the less known societal bandwagon of asocial peoples. oh look at me now, making an analogy of the social behavior of asocial people. so oxymoronic. my mind is literally fucked up, on fire, and spilling liquid plastic everywhere because when people get into my mind, I doubt they will ever forget what's going on in my insignificant mind. No one's ever been in it except for me, and no one can understand it except for me. or maybe a therapist if I hire one. But I mean really, I'm pissed off, and I don't get pissed off easily. This is really going to be on my mind for one hell of a long time. I now know how people feel like when they say, "You don't know me. You only know my name." and it seriously fucking sucks. Much more than falling for someone unintentionally, because its about the people who you've been around for much longer, and you know they care about you, but it's just not enough for them to just care. If they really cared, they would have tried to talk to me. Like my sister. She's pretty much the closest person in my life, and I'm pretty glad she enlightened me today, because I can see the light. And now I'm pissed, because I could have made everything so much better, rather than all these things that I've done (The Killers reference if you didn't catch that ;P ). I might be going crazy o.0 fuck. I need a drink. and don't worry. it's just canada dry. :P thanks ashen for reminding me about how amazing that drink is. Oh and did I mention Society is fucked up? Society is Fucked Up. whoa. this just turned from a mere observation of my way to cope with my life's problems to a rant. watever. good night people. sorry for the long post. Ignore this if you don't like rants. Or my personal life. I won't mind.