#ips n

March Of Robots 2026

Day 16: Emperor

This is less nice to come back to...

I feel like I'm being trolled being asked this specifically cause I've made my opinions on IPS-N pretty clear.

Buuuuuuuut dunking on them isn't something I'll refuse so sure let's do this.

Starting by... Oh gods great the fucking Blackbeard...

This? One of the reasons I hate this stupid corpro state. "Oh yeah guys we've made an anti piracy mech isn't it great?"

Then why the fuck is your "anti piracy" mech named after the most famous pre-fall pirate? Why is it so good at piracy, y'know, the one thing you said it was gonna help prevent?

Pure hypocrisy disguised as good intentions. 0/10 hate it.

OK next up, the Drake.

I... Actually kinda like the Drake.

I mean it's not at all my style, I would hate piloting this, but it's honest and I can respect that.

It's got a big gun and a big shield and it doesn't pretend to be anything more than a big wall of metal.

It does help that the Drake pilots I've met IRL or online are very nice people, so bonus points on that. Pretty firm 8/10 no dislike here from me.

After this it's the Lancaster!

It's a support and I think you have to be heartless to not appreciate someone who's willing to risk their life for you, so I can't dislike it.

I guess I would probably appreciate it a lot more if I was teammates with someone who used it, but since I don't it's gonna stay at a 7/10 for me.

Next up, Nelson!

Same thing as for the Lancaster, but you'd have to be heartless to dislike the Albatross.

I can also 100% understand the need to zoom around the field, so the whole concept gets the Photon seal of approval, which is worth like... I'll buy you some tea if we ever meet?

Anyways I like it a lot, 9/10.

After this it's the Raleigh.

I... I respect the Raleigh.

Being a massive commercial failure for IPS-N doesn't make it bad, and I think people tend to forget that.

I've met a Raleigh on a mission, and I like everyone else thought it was going to be pretty easy to ignore. I mean it reloads half the time right? No biggie.

But that chest cannon it has pretty much invalidates that whole claim, cause sure it's reloading the others guns, but that one is ready to fire.

I managed to bait it into full sending everything, and after that yeah it was pretty much how I originally expected it to be.

Sooooooo, 5/10 I suppose? It's got my respect at least.

Next up, Tortuga.

I don't like the idea of the Tortuga.

Granted, never met one (THANKFULLY), but something about a mech made to block hallways in ships to prevent anyone from escaping resonates very very badly for me.

It just seems made to massacre people trying to flee. 3/10.

I feel like the quality is going down, cause next up is the Vlad.

Like really, what the hell is this?

It looks like you asked a child what would make a mech scary and intimidating and they said "oh just add a bunch of spikes!" and you did just that.

I mean never met one, maybe it's an absolute monster on the field, but it looks stupid, 1/10.

We're finishing this with a big one, the Caliban.

If you pilot this, or were involved in designing this thing, I hate you and hope your soul burns in every single version of eternal torment we as a species have imagined since the dawn of time.

I want you in Hell, in Tartarus, in the Duat, if we wanna get local I want your soul to be struck by the Curse of Wandering and spend eternity in the Ifnir Deadlands.

I hate you.