Nemona, my favorite skrungly dumbass. Sweet thing is trying her best, unable to discern her romantic feelings from her platonic ones for so long. Listen, growing up she only had pokemon on the mind, and once she reached the top she really didn’t have any friends, so she’s still figuring things out. But enough about her being lost in her feelings, because I’ve talked about that enough.

Once she manages to spill her guts and get into an actual relationship, she’s completely lovesick, over the moon. Her entire worldview has changed for the better, as she somehow becomes even peppier than usual. The happiness beaming from her is as radiant as the sun. Her mood is impossible to bring down. She’s just so happy that you’ve given her a chance, that you feel the same way about her that she feels about you.

In general? She’s a mix of eager and nervous. Nemona only recently made real friends, so obviously she’s still learning the ins and outs and weird quirks of relationships, both for platonic and romantic ones. Don’t get me wrong, she’s absolutely ecstatic at the idea of having a girlfriend, and she absolutely loves you with her whole heart and soul, but this is still new, unexplored territory for her. Taking big steps in your relationship makes her heart pound, both from excitement and fear, but she fights against her nervousness with relative ease, viewing it as a mere challenge she must overcome to become the girlfriend of your dreams.

Speaking of friends, Nemona likes to go to them for advice, despite both of them being in the same relationship boat as her, to varying effect. Arven actually gives some pretty sound advice, but that’s mainly because said advice boils down to making and giving you food, and who doesn’t love free food? Penny, on the other hand, essentially just rehashed vagueling romantic things from her favorite manga and anime. Thankfully for you, Arven usually manages to shut her down before any ideas can be planted into Nemona’s head.

Her favorite kind of dates are the ones where you spend time in nature together. Whether you’re going on a picnic or camping or just plain ol’ adventuring, she’s gonna have a great time. Just know that she is going to try and battle every unique looking pokemon you come across. On the bright side, she’ll always give you first dibs when it comes to catching them. It might take a long while for her to catch anything, given her less than stellar throwing arm, but she’ll succeed eventually through raw, sheer determination. 

This mentality can be applied whenever you express interest in catching a pokemon. If you want something, Nemona will get it for you, no questions asked. If you are looking for something super rare? Nemona’s got it. You’re trying to get a shiny? She’s already on it. You want something insane like the rare three-segmented Dudunsparce and you want it to be shiny? Don’t worry, babe, she’s got this. She will disappear for weeks on end and reemerge with the spoils of war in hand.

Please let her geek out, if only for a little bit. Let her rant and rave about the insane battle she had with her rival a few days ago, or about the uber rare pokemon she found earlier in the week. On one hand, she just wants to talk about these things in general, but on the other hand she just wants to know that someone in her life is genuinely interested in what she has to say. It makes her heart flutter in a way that she’s never felt before. The second you give her that kind of attention, she knows that you are the one for her.

Anyways, I always love posts that are like “slander your favs for no reason” so Imma try to do that for each of these ladies, except it isn’t really gonna be slander but I’m gonna call it that anyways because I don’t know what else to call it. For Nemona, I’d say that she’d fall hook, line, and sinker for those old playground rumors, like Mew being under a truck by the S.S. Ann or the Jirachi rock bullshit. If you tell her that they aren’t real, that people just made them up to pull people’s legs, she would be completely crushed.

Penny’s a weird one. Like, just in general, and we love her for that. She is the epitome of what facebook boomers think of the younger generation. She is terminally online and refuses to leave her room unless absolutely necessary. She has committed bank fraud. She is blue hair and pronouns. She is holy fucking bingle. 

Unlike Nemona, who is super eager about taking steps in your relationship, Penny is terrified of them. She’s never been this close to another person in her entire life, so obviously she’s hesitant. Not to say that she doesn’t like being close with you, she loves it and craves to be even closer, but she can’t help but feel a bit afraid of the unknown. That’s all to say, you are going to have to be the one to initiate those steps. Just be careful, even a kiss to the cheek is enough to make her brain do a full system-reboot.

But she wants to take those steps, and wants to show you that she cares about and loves you (although it takes a very long time for her to bust out the L-word). For starters, Penny will actually open up to you about all of her interests. She’s not ashamed of who she is, but she doesn’t tell most people about her interests due to being bullied for them in the past. On top of that, she’ll also introduce you to her Team Star buddies, and they definitely pull the overprotective card on you. Hell, she’d even hack the league again for you if you so much as asked (just don’t tell Clavell she said that).

She also takes your interests into consideration in order to recommend some of her favorite things in return-from manga, to video games, to music. And if you ever tell her about something that you really, really love, she will binge it ASAP. You could mention a game that takes at least a hundred hours to complete and she will somehow finish it within a matter of days, ready to talk about it as soon as the credits roll. She was bullied for the things she loves, so she knows how much it sucks having no one to talk to about them. Not that she’d ever say that out loud, though, because mushy feelings and words don’t come naturally to her.

Kind of an aside, but do you think something like pokemon showdown (online battles) would exist in the pokemon universe? I only mention this because I think Penny would be super into competitive memes. She would totally mention something like homophobic ferrothorn in casual conversation and expect you to understand what she’s talking about. 

Of course, how could I mention Penny in general headcanons without bringing up the theory that she’s Peony’s daughter? How could I pass up an opportunity to, once again, talk about supreme supportive embarrassing dad-of-the-year Peony who’s extremely supportive of his gay daughters? Giving Peonia this treatment wasn’t enough, I seek more carnage.

Now, Penny would definitely have it better than Peonia, considering she lives in a different region and all, but that doesn’t stop Peony. He sends her small gifts all the time, many of which are handmade. In particular, he loves to send little pride flag patches, which she often shares with her friends. He also tries to send her supportive messages to tell her that he loves and accepts all of her no matter what, but they’re always made in MS Paint with a mouse and he has to ask Peonia to help him save the image and send it to her, and it's always either far too small or far too big, nowhere in between.

Slander time, Penny would absolutely own a titty mouse pad of one of her favorite anime characters. She is incredibly embarrassed about owning it, and dreads the day someone finds it, but she still uses it, and goes to great lengths to hide the thing whenever anyone comes over.

Katy is kinda hard for me to write for because it’s in an instance of oh I know someone with that name and it’s hard for me to think of her without thinking about that person with whom I am related to, but you didn’t ask about that.

This woman? She’s the sweetest thing to ever grace Paldea. This lady is so sickeningly sweet at all times, only wanting the best for those around her. She couldn’t even hurt a Cutiefly because she’s simply too kind. Make no mistake, she could absolutely clock the shit out of someone, but she simply chooses not to. Thankfully, she only believes in uplifting others.

Obviously, baking is her passion. She’s spent years perfecting her craft down to a science, enough to make complex techniques look simple. More than anything, she wants to share the joys of baking with you. It’s like giving you a piece of her to hold onto forever. Don’t be surprised if she ends up making you her go-to taste tester, always asking your opinion on whatever new concoction she’s whipped up. All she asks is that you’re honest, not wanting you to lie just to protect her feelings.

Speaking of her craft, she understands how difficult it can be to get into or master a craft or hobby, about how easy it is to put yourself down the second you make a mistake. She’s been there, she gets it, hence why she doesn’t hold back with her praise and criticism. She believes it’s important to acknowledge how much you’ve improved while also keeping in mind how you can strive to be better. 

Despite how sweet and kind she is, Katy does have a mischievous streak. Pulling light-hearted pranks is one of her favorite pastimes. It's small things like signing your email up to some random newsletter or asking “what’s that” while pointing over your shoulder, only to be met by one of her creepy-crawly or bear-shaped pokemon. You could argue that these things don’t really classify as pranks, but she loves doing them nonetheless. Even though they are completely harmless, she always has sweets to give the prankee after the fact, just in case her actions somehow came off poorly.

But let’s skip to the bottom line, you can’t date Katy if you hate bug pokemon. And it’s not because she won’t tolerate your opinion, no, it’s because her little-and big-bugs are around constantly. If your fear was bad enough, you’d likely end up having a heart attack just by being around her for an extended period of time. If you are afraid of them but are determined to be with her, then she’ll do everything in her power to help overcome your fears. Exposure therapy can work wonders if you’re willing to put the effort in, and she’ll reward you with her love and baked goods for being so brave, especially because you’d be doing it for her.

She’s one of the most uplifting, cheerful yet calm partners you could have. She’ll always be in your corner, helping you along the way of whatever journey you are on, but she won’t be overbearing. She’s a very passive person by nature and struggles with confrontation, but she has your back no matter what happens, prepared to catch you and help you back onto your feet whenever you may fall down.

Slander posting time, Katy really got into the “everything is cake” thing. Like, it kind of became a problem, to the point that she spent hours making a single realistic-looking pastry. Normally, she’s not too hard on herself when it comes to baking, as small mistakes are unavoidable and are nothing worth losing sleep over. That is, until she was working on a hyper-realistic Tarountula, where she acted like her life was on the line should a single one be made.

Iono can be super energetic, upbeat, and slightly unhinged at times, and lowkey, chill, and… still kinda unhinged at others. She’s an online personality, so, of course, there’s a persona she has to put up, but with someone like you, she can be her regular self.

For starters, this girl is fuckin’ tired. Putting up her hyper-active streaming persona whenever she’s around others while also having to deal with internet weirdos wears her out. Of course, she’s grateful for her job and the opportunities that come along with it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not stressful at times. She can handle it, though, even if she does end up whining and borderline begging you to cuddle her when you get home at the end of the day, if only for a bit.

When it comes to your relationship, she desperately wants to show you off. You’re her darling, loving girlfriend, who is both incredibly hot and talented. It’s only natural that she would want to show off how great your relationship is. But, at the same time, she’s very secretive with it. For one, she knows how certain people can get when the people they follow get into relationships, and two, she wants to keep her personal life out of the public eye.

Her hair is a nightmare to care for. Not just because there’s a ton of it, but because she has to constantly make sure it’s dyed properly. Personally, I believe her hair is naturally pink, meaning every few weeks she has to get the turquoise parts touched up. Of course, that doesn’t even mention how long it takes to style. All she asks of you (a lie) is to brush her hair, careful to work out the tangles with delicate strokes. She’s always willing to return the favor, tending to your hair based on your instructions.

Whenever you go out, she has no choice but to put on a disguise. On a date, she doesn’t want to be noticed by the general public. Not only would it bring attention to you both, it would also force her to put up her streaming face, which would kinda destroy the purpose of you guys going out in the first place. What’s the point of spending quality time with each other, one-on-one, if she has to be fake to appease those around you?

On the actual dates, she’s super lowkey, even more than usual. It’s not often that she gets to be herself out in public, so she cherishes all the time dearly, even if she has to hide her face in doing so. You get to hold hands, go out to eat, and walk around the streets of Levincia while window shopping, chatting and laughing the whole time. She forgets how much she loves it, living a mundane life, even if just for a few hours. It makes her think about what life will be like in the future. She doesn’t want to live in the public eye, streaming forever, so these small moments are like a glimpse into the future for her.

But Iono can absolutely be a menace, as well, both on and off stream. Like, you could just be on your quiet little date in the city and she’ll randomly ask if you want to go harass Larry. She does it all the time for her streams because the people love him, but she also just does it for fun on her own time. Besides, who doesn’t want to end their date by badgering epic divorce man as he eats 50 rice balls in one sitting?

As for slander, well, there’s many things I could mention here, if I’m being honest, but let’s just stick with the simplest one. She’s done a youtuber apology before in response to some dumb controversy she got involved in, complete with the sigh at the beginning followed by “I never wanted to make this video” and all.

Tulip’s elegant and a bit head strong, and is also incredibly charismatic and business savvy. Beauty is her forte, and she finds it in all things, regardless of what other people think, which she thinks is a mindset everyone could benefit from having.

She’s a bit more difficult than others, in a sense, mainly because of how busy her life is. Typically, she’s talking to business personnel about her next line of cosmetics, either in person or over the phone. As a result, making time for you can be difficult. Sometimes, the most you’ll see of her in a day is her, on the phone, whispering a quick “love you” and planting a kiss on the top of your head before turning her attention back to whoever’s on the other end of the line.

But every now and then, she’ll clear her entire schedule and spend the entire day with you, and she’s pampering to a fault. No matter what you end up doing all day, at some point she’ll sit you down and do your makeup and style your hair all pretty while chatting away. Her work is flawless, obviously, although it does take quite some time to finish. She’ll let you do hers in return, finding whatever choices you make to be beautiful. After all, you picked out the colors and styles specifically for her, so of course she’ll love it.

If you end up going out, she’d love to go to a nice restaurant. It’s a great way to show off how lovely you both look, dolled up, ready for a wild night on the town. Eventually, though, she'll get recognized, leading to you both being tailed by the paparazzi. She puts on her best smile, asking you to play along, but soon enough you’ll both bail. The night ends with you running through back alley streets, laughing and giggling with one another until you eventually find your way back home.

Quiet dates are what she prefers, though, as it’s nice to just relax and unwind with someone you love. She adores meditation and yoga, and would love to guide you through some sessions. She’s learned a lot from Dendra, after all, and needs to put that knowledge to good use. That being said, she’s a very flexible person, mainly because she’s been doing yoga for so long, so don’t feel bad if you have trouble keeping up with her.

While Tulip’s whole business is about cosmetics, she puts a ton of value on self-love. To her, makeup is purely an art form which uses the human body as its canvas. Every face, every body, has beauty to it. If you can’t realize how wonderful you are in your most natural state, then slathering makeup on, what you perceive to be, flaws won’t change your overall self-image. Makeup is a hobby, and it looks best when you use it to accentuate what beauty you already possess. It’s the reason she absolutely loathes self-deprecation. If she ever catches you saying something bad about yourself, whether it’s meant to be comedic or not, she’ll take your face in her hands, squishing your cheeks a bit, while stating otherwise. Like, if you said you weren’t really that pretty or attractive, she’ll go off on a rant about how beautiful you are, both in and out. If she thinks something seriously up with you, that something is really weighing on your mind, she’ll clear her schedule as soon as possible and spend hours spoiling you, making sure you know how much she truly loves you and you alone.

Tulip is also super into self-care. If she’s not posting about makeup or fashion, she’s promoting all kinds of things to her followers. She posts about her morning routine and makes instructional videos for yoga poses and stretches. Sometimes, she’ll drag you out of bed in the morning to join in on her regular routine, mainly her skin care routine as well as meditation. It’s important to take care of your mind and body, and she won’t let you forget that.

Let’s see, slander for Tulip. Normally, she’s a very calm and composed individual, but she’s not perfect. That is to say, there exists a video of her just completely blowing up at someone Christian Bale style. She prefers to ignore its existence.

Rika’s honestly not my type, but I get the appeal, even if she does look like gijinka Perry the Platypus. She’s got that cool edge about her, even when she is wearing her grandma glasses.

She loves to flirt with you. The flustered expression she can force onto your face never fails to make her heart pound in her chest. The way your eyes widen, the way you try to hide your face from her, the way you stammer through your words… all moments she cherishes. She’s not above kabedoning (or whatever the word is) you just to see you squirm. She wants to steal your heart, and will go to any lengths she has to to make you hers.

That being said, I sincerely see Rika as a failwife. She may look sleek and suave on the surface, but behind closed doors? She’s a disaster. She lays in bed at night. tormented by your cute face, as she’s forced to overthink every little interaction she’s ever had with you. It’s like, she’ll think about some interaction you’ve had, thinking she completely embarrassed herself in front of you, that she completely screwed up her chances with you, when in reality you don’t even remember it. Not even the gentle embrace of Clodsire can save her.

Whenever she’s working as the league’s receptionist, she’s thinking about you. It’s not her fault that browsing through your social medias is far more interesting than forwarding emails. Of course, she makes sure to keep them in a separate tab to switch off of them second anyone walks into the room. Just because all of her co-workers, as well as her boss, know that she slacks off doesn’t mean they need to catch her in the act. Battling is a different story, though, as her focus has no room to wander off there.

She’s kinda like a second mom to Poppy. The tot’s far too young to work an actual job, obviously, but she spends a good deal of her day at the league in the off chance that a challenger comes by. Most of the time, she’s sat around, doodling her team and parents and co-workers with crayons on printer paper. Rika spends quite a bit of time watching over her, making sure she’s not getting into too much trouble while praising her artistic talents. Rika makes sure she gets lunch and always sets her down for her afternoon nap and brings her home at the end of the day and whatnot.

That’s all to say, Rika inadvertently built up an attachment to the kid. She never thought she would want to be a mom, and she isn’t even sure if she really wants children of her own, considering being a babysitter isn’t nearly the same thing as being an actual parent, but taking care of Poppy always gets her thinking. For now, at least, she’s content being an aunt. If she ever saw you caring for Poppy, her heart might just explode. You’d simply be too cute, and it would also make her realize that she might have a thing for milfs.

She has a secret love for shitty romcoms. Once you’ve been together for awhile, she’ll invite you over for the night and put one on under the guise that you can make fun of how stupid and predictable it will be, but if you pay attention to her while watching, you’ll notice that the enjoyment she’s getting out of it is far from ironic. No matter how much you may poke or prod or tease, she will never admit it. She just wants you to think she’s cool, is that so much to ask for?

As for her slander, she doesn’t really understand memes. Like, you know the joke about parents always pulling the same face when you show them a meme? That’s Rika, she makes that face almost every time you try to show her something funny. It’s not like she isn’t online, or anything, she just doesn’t understand them.

Geeta, my favorite chairwoman with a voluminous shell of hair. No one knows how she cares for that behemoth, just like how no one knows how a good chunk of the wider pokemon community fail to understand her purpose in the games, but I digress.

As I believe I’ve said before, Geeta is a workaholic. Most of the time she’s tending to her league related duties, which results in little time spent together. When she eventually arrives home, tired but generally satisfied after a long day of work, she kisses you softly as a way to say “hello”, squeezing a bit of quality time in, before shutting herself away in her at-home office to continue working. Unfortunately, it falls to you to tear her away from her work when she’s clearly run herself ragged.

Thankfully, vacations happen pretty often, as she frequently travels to represent the Paldean league. It’s still work, but it gives her a great opportunity to spend time with you. Exploring new regions makes her feel like a kid, like she’s experiencing her journey across Paldea with her Glimmet in tow all over again. It reminds of her simpler days, causing a small, nostalgic smile to find its way onto her face. She encourages you to continue poking around on your own when she has to return to doing work.

Mentioned this in the past as well, but Geeta spoils you endlessly. Gift giving is one of her love languages. She can’t help but think of you when seeing adorable clothes and objects in shop windows and online stores, knowing the delightfully surprised expression you’d make when presented with the sudden gift, even though you should expect these things from her after being with each other for so long. It’s not like she’s struggling financially or anything, so why shouldn’t she?

Also, she loves spa dates. It lets her spend time with, spoil you, and relieve her incredible stress all at once. It’s the perfect date in her mind. Of course, she loves fancy dates, at high end restaurants and stuffy galas held by the league. She enjoys luxurious goods, the expensive, fine wine and food, and she also loves to see you dressed to the nines. But they don’t hold a flame to the love she has for relaxing with you at the end of a long day.

She’s very particular with her things. Like, everything within her office, both at the league and at home, is perfectly organized. The top of the expensive-looking wood is essentially pristine, all her fountain pens and other small knick knacks are kept in holders, and the drawers are full, although not overly so, of neatly filed papers organized alphabetically. She knows where everything is at all times, and can get irritated if someone moves them around. And yes, she has framed photos of you on her desk in both offices.

That being said, certain parts of her home, mostly closets, are messy and borderline overflowing. The closet that her clothes are in is neatly kept to prevent the finely pressed, sleeveless work shirts and blazers from getting wrinkled, but no other closet is safe. They are just full of random objects she doesn’t know what to do with. Normally, she prefers not to acknowledge their existence, simply smiling if you ever brought them up, but if you were to go through and organize them for her, she would marry you on the spot.

She just… she thinks about you a lot. Whenever there’s a slow moment in the day, she’s thinking of you. When she’s moving from point A to point B or transitioning between tasks, she’s thinking of you. When the work place spirals into hectic chaos, she’s thinking of you, because, Arceus help her, if she didn’t think of anything else, she would completely snap and maybe kill someone. Even when still hard at work, thinking about you and what you might be doing at work or home makes her feel at  ease, helping her grapple with her ever-mounting stress.

Geeta slander, okay. Do you know how Mark Zuckerberg owns, like, 30 pairs of the same shirt that, despite looking incredibly simple, are all uber expensive? That’s Geeta, except it’s for her blazers. She has several pairs of them to ensure she always has a clean, ironed one available, which at least makes sense since they have to be dry-cleaned and all, but goddamn she’s put down a small fortune on the things.

Mela, as you would expect, is stubborn and hot-headed. Her reputation as a foul-mouthed delinquent sends most people packing, but if you manage to wiggle your way past her defenses, you’ll end up with an endlessly loyal friend (or girlfriend, in this case) who would move mountains for you.

This girl is incredibly possessive. If you ask her why, she’ll tell you that it’s to ensure that no one tried to mess with you, stopping others from making fun of or coming onto you before they even got the chance. Which is true and all, but she also just doesn’t like the idea of people getting too cozy with you. Simply put, she gets jealous easily. Not that she would ever admit it, as she’d sooner burn through every excuse under the sun before doing so.

She tends to come off rather, uh, strong, to say the least. No matter what she’s doing, she will look intimidating, even with her doofy walk. The day she asked you out, she marched up to you, face as menacing as ever, and just spouted out “go on a date with me!”, leaving no room for opposition (not that you would have said no, of course). It’s not her fault, really, she just has a bad case of resting bitch face. Speaking of your first date, it was kinda awkward, but in an endearing way. More likely than not, you didn’t really know who Mela was outside of her being a member of the team causing chaos for the school, as well as the fact that she was very, very intimidating. Naturally, you were pretty nervous during the date, afraid that saying the wrong thing would result in you being yelled at. Little did you know, Mela was also incredibly nervous, because you were just so pretty and kind and she really didn’t want to blow her chances with you.

Honestly, she doesn’t really have a ton of strong interests. There are things she likes to do, sure, but not enough to call them hobbies. And even then, a lot of them are activities that her friends really love, meaning she only bothers with them when hanging out. She likes these things enough, but most of her enjoyment comes from being with her friends and not the actual thing in question. Whatever you are passionate about, she’ll jump into. As long as you’re having fun, she’s happy.

It isn’t until after Team Star’s downfall that she begins to express her interest in art. She’s always liked drawing and painting and what not, but she never had the opportunity to get into it, mainly because her skills are rudimentary at best. Her only real experience with drawing in recent memory includes poorly doodling in the margins of spiral notebooks and worksheets, which prevented her skills from improving all that much. 

It takes her awhile to break out of her shell and show people her work, as she’s afraid that they would point and laugh at her. Even though she could easily rip someone a new one if they so much as looked at her funny, she’s still afraid of falling into the cycle of bullying she was subjected to before. But she pushes past that fear, knowing that feedback from those that care will only help her improve. She shares more art with you than anyone else, so please be gentle with her. She works so hard on each piece, and is desperate to eat your praise up.

She’s a cuddle bug, one hundred percent. Do not mention that fact, though, because doing so would cause her to explode. She is supposed to be rough and tough, the deep cutting wit of her team that can force even the most self-confident individuals to run away crying. If people knew that she was a little spoon, that she liked to be snuggled as close as possible against her girlfriend behind closed doors, her reputation would be tarnished forever. She doesn’t even want her friends to find out, because she knows they would hold it over her head and tease her forever. And by friends, I mean all of them except for Eri, who would try to stop the others from teasing, an effort that would fail miserably.

Regarding slander, I’d say that Mela owns a ton of those “how to draw anime” books. She was super into them when she was younger, resulting in a lot of embarrassing old drawings. She hates them, but looks back at them sometimes to see how far her artistic abilities have come.

Eri, my beloved. She is peak gentle giant, strong and powerful and an absolute sweetheart by nature. She is your ride or die, willing to do anything she has to in order to keep you safe and happy.

This girl absolutely adores you. She gets drawn in by your natural strength and beauty, leading to her sheepishly introducing herself. Just like Mela, you’d find yourself intimidated by her presence at first, but when you actually get to know her you come to realize how sweet and kind she is. As soon as you’re friends, she would be willing to drop everything for you, and that sentiment only grows stronger when you get together. If you ever need anything, all you need do is ask, and she’ll take care of it, no questions asked.

I kinda implied it with the above, but Eri is actually kinda shy. She really doesn’t like being looked at, finding the stares of others to be intimidating. It was Atticus that came up with the idea of wearing a mask, which helped her feel way more comfortable being around others, despite it drawing in more attention. To be fair though, even if she didn’t wear it, people would still stare due to how tall and muscular she is. Over the years, she’s gotten better, more sociable, but talking to you early into your friendship as well as officially asking you out brought that side of her out again.

She’s a big ol’ teddy bear. She has the physique of a Greek god, and she uses all of those defined muscles to give the most mind-blowing hugs imaginable. With her arms around you, holding you closer than humanly possible, it’s impossible to feel cold or unsafe. She prefers to hold you closely, but has no issue with you sprawling out on top of her or trying to be the big spoon. She just wants to devolve into a tangle of limbs with you, regardless of what position you find yourselves in.

Of course, Eri is super into working out and staying fit. She lifts, she runs, she pumps iron, she does it all, and she loves it. Is she a gym rat? Not quite, but she’s been mistaken for one before. She wouldn’t ask you to join her outright, but she clearly wants you to join in. She’s a bit afraid to ask you directly in the fear that you’ll feel pressured to say yes. If you tag along, to her excitement, she will tone her regular routine down for your sake, not wanting you to feel too sore in the morning.

Also, she’s the type of person to wake up at the crack of dawn. She likes to start the morning off with a brisk jog. It’s her way of waking up instead of caffeine. You can’t stop her from untangling you from her arms upon waking up, no matter how much you may beg and plead for her to stay in bed with for just a little bit longer. She simply cannot be swayed.

She loves horror in concept, but absolutely hates it in practice. She can get pretty excited when sitting down to watch something like a horror movie, but as soon as anything scary happens, she’s out. Not literally, she will sit through the entire thing, but she has to grab a nearby pillow to hide behind when anything remotely scary happens to do so. If you are with her, she will cower behind  you instead, essentially setting you down on her lap  to more easily hide behind your shoulder..

Eri absolutely loves cute things. As evidenced by her princess-esque outfit and use of heal balls. That being said, Eri also thinks everything is cute. There’s the obvious, typical cute things she loves, like stuffed animals and frills and anything draped in pink or purple, but she also believes that her team of pokemon are cute, which, need I remind you, contains a beast that evolves by getting so furious that it fucking dies. Everything is cute in her world, and she will use everything in her power to keep that cuteness safe. The strong must protect the sweet and whatnot.

Slander? Well, I’d say that Eri accidentally breaks things regularly due to how strong she is, but everytime it happens she cries about it. She just feels so bad about it, even if everyone around her tells her that it’s fine because it was an accident.

Miriam is such a mess, but she’s trying her best. She’s kinda like Rika, in the sense that she has a failwife-esque energy about her. She melts under your attention, but that doesn’t stop her from blabbing about you to anyone who will listen.

Poor Miriam is tired and disappointed with her place in life, and it shows sometimes. All she wanted to be was a teacher, but she got shafted into the position of school nurse. Given, it was more or less her fault, considering that she was the one that failed the test. Truth be told, she didn’t study as much as she probably should have for the exam, but that doesn’t dull the sting of failure. She puts on the face of a school nurse during work hours regardless of her dissatisfaction, although doing so can get a bit awkward when faced with the academy’s older students.

That being said, when she finds her spark and decides to attempt the test again, she’s all into studying. If you were to help her out during this time, bringing her food and tea and encouraging her to take breaks to clear her mind, it would be much appreciated. Sure, she always tells others to take care of themselves, but that doesn’t mean that she’s good at it herself. Plus, your encouragement helps her keep going when she wants to throw in the towel. When she eventually passes the test, she’s gonna take you out on the best damn date the world has ever seen as thanks.

Regardless of where she’s at in life, she will come home and collapse on the couch, waiting for you to join her so she can blab about her day. When she’s working as a nurse, she’s bored and dissatisfied, wishing for more out of her work day. When she’s studying to become a teacher, she’s tired and mentally done with things, knowing that she will eventually have to go back to studying till her brain is fried even though she just got home from work. Comfort her please, she’s desperate.

Let it be known that she can fall fast, and she can absolutely fall hard. It doesn’t take much for her to take interest in someone, for her to flirt with you on a casual basis, but when she begins to form a crush, it’s the end for her. She’s tripping over herself whenever you’re around, and blushing up a storm whenever you’re on her mind. Everyone around her knows she has a crush the instant it forms, you included. She can see that her feelings are obvious, so she makes no real attempt to hide them from you. However, she won’t act on them, because she wants you to make the first move.

Once you do start dating, she talks about you constantly. Should anything come up that reminds her of you, even if just by the slightest bit, she’ll bring it up. Some of her coworkers find it endearing, and others can’t stand it (cough Raifort cough). Not that she notices, though, because she’s too busy talking about you to take their reactions into consideration. She’s also the type of person to refer to you as her wife even when you’re just dating.

She’s another cheerleader, but is more out there than the likes of Katy. She doesn’t just want you to know that she’s supporting you, she wants everyone around to know she’s got your back, because have you seen her wife? She’s absolutely killing it, look at how cool she is. Miriam is just incredibly supportive and wants to repay you for all the support you’ve given her, ready to hype you up as much as possible at a moment's notice. Of course, she’ll also force you to sit back and take care of yourself if she thinks you're in desperate need of a break.

Slander? Well, when she’s drunk, she turns into a basic bitch. She’ll move until she’s sitting right next to you, almost tripping several times in the process, so she can lean in close. She’ll run her fingers up and down your arm, her touch incredibly clumsy and sluggish, saying things like “you are SO funny” while laughing and kicking her feet after you say literally anything.

Dendra is also kind of a mess, but for a different reason. Because she’s a huge fitness nut and, essentially, a PE teacher, she often gets injured, making her more of a physical mess than a mental one.

She’s super energetic, always pumped up and ready for action. She could be coming back from a workout, exhausted as hell, but will instantly perk up and go in for round two if someone asked her to join them. It’s like she has an infinite fount of energy, because how else could she always be so active? She doesn’t sleep more than the average person or anything, neither does she bother with caffeine. 

Unlike Eri, I would absolutely call Dendra a gym rat. She’s all about the grind. Working out is her favorite hobby, her happy place. On top of that, she’s extremely welcoming to anyone trying to get into fitness, wanting to help them find what works best for them. Also unlike Eri, she’s much more open about wanting you to join her workout sessions, to the point that she’s willing to beg.

You can always tell when she’s gotten injured by the way she greets you after work. Normally, she’ll rush through your home to find wherever you are, nearly tackling you into a hug. It’s been a long day and she missed you. But when she’s been injured, she sheepishly walks through the door, careful to avoid walking into the room you are in fully to try and hide the bandages from your line of sight. 

In general, she’s just a really bad liar, and she lowers her head, like a child waiting to be scolded, when found out. She doesn’t like hiding things, especially from you, but she doesn’t want you to worry, either. Injury happens all the time in her line of work, making it something she’s grown accustomed to as well as expect. As such, she doesn’t want you worrying about each and every one of her scabs and bruises, even if she does like the way you dote on her.

She really likes to show her love for you. It’s not that she thinks you don’t know how much she cares for you, she just likes asserting it. Obviously, she does this through spending time with you, and being affectionate with you, and saying “I love you”, but she also likes to give you little gifts here and there. This obviously isn’t a problem, much less weird for a girlfriend to do. Rather, the issue is that food is included in that, and she’s an awful chef. She knows this, and tries to improve, but it’s still not great. Eat with caution.

Loves to talk about you to her friends. She doesn’t talk about you constantly, but it’s not uncommon for you to be brought up in conversation with the likes of Tulip and Miriam. Usually, it’s just in passing, but sometimes it’s about how she wants to do more for you, show her love in different ways. Tulip suggests getting dressed up and going out somewhere nice, but that isn’t really her style, and Miriam tries to help her improve her cooking skills, but the lessons never really go anywhere. Still, she values their support and advice, regardless of their effectiveness.

Like both of her friends, Dendra is big on taking care of yourself. It takes a lot of time and effort to keep your body happy and healthy, but it’s all worth it, because it will only result in you feeling better, and when you’re feeling better, it’s easier to uplift others. She greatly encourages you to start some kind of daily routine if you don’t already have one, and she will hold you to it.

In terms of slander, I’d say that she’s the type of person to easily forget dates. She’s got your birthday on lock, but that’s it. Expect her to show up to anniversaries and Valentines dates late with a bouquet of flowers she purchased on her way over.

Raifort, last but not least, is cryptic. I wouldn’t call her gothic, but she really reminds me of that one post about a goth being like “my love I crochet an anatomically correct heart for you” and her girlfriend responding with “aw thanks do u wanna go to target with me?” and I will not elaborate.

She’s got this veil of mystery about her, but that’s not intentional. She isn’t trying to make herself seem mysterious and cool, she just doesn’t like it when  people are all up in her business. Yes, she’s looking for the Treasures of Ruin. Yes, she knows that they’re dangerous and could cause incredible amounts of chaos to fall upon the region at large. No, she won’t tell you why she wants them. If she wanted you to know, she would’ve told you already.

She will blab to you constantly about history and legendaries. When she’s not teaching or planning lessons, she’s reading up about these kinds of things, trying to absorb as much information as possible. According to her, most people aren’t cultured enough to understand the incredible importance and allure of historical records, meaning you are one of the few people who will seriously listen to her sudden info dumps.

Along with that, she furiously rants about how much she hates present day events being, well, present. For instance, she’ll complain about the understanding and utilization of the terastallization phenomenon because it happened in recent history. To her, the present just isn’t all that interesting, especially when compared to the vast richness of the past, making her lose interest in otherwise exciting events.

As much as I hate this word, she has a ton of unintentional rizz. If we’re being honest, your relationship only came to be because you decided she was the one for you after she talked about history for an hour straight in your general direction. She put in no effort into catching your attention, but she managed to do that anyways. She agrees to give dating a shot because you seemed to value the past, as evidenced by you listening to her spiel, and that’s reason enough for her to give you the time of day. 

She isn’t a morning person, not in the slightest, which is obviously a conflict of interest due her being a school teacher. Her job requires her to get up and be at work in the early morning hours, resulting in her needing a lot of caffeine in order to stay awake, much less function properly. Because she’s so tired, she puts little effort into getting ready, hence why her hair is always messily tied up. She does, however, use care when putting on her favorite accessories.

Honestly? She’s a lowkey boomer at times. The internet is a wonderful invention that allows people to quickly gather information they otherwise might not have access to, and she recognizes that, but that doesn’t make her like it. She complains about kids these days relying on it too much to write their papers rather than going to the library and reading books, and about how they are always on their phones during class. She’s not anti-technology or anything, but that won’t stop her from saying shit like “it’s cause you’re always on that damn phone” when someone around, teacher or student, faces a problem.

It’s for that reason that she doesn’t text or call you all that often. She’d much rather come talk to you in person than use her phone if possible. If she can’t find you, she’ll text to ask where you are or when you’ll be available instead of just texting you what she wants to say. Her excitement for historical developments simply cannot be conveyed through modern technology.

You arrive at the ‘Iono Zone’ set with Umbreon at your side. Though your girlfriend is nowhere to be seen, a producer runs to your side.

“Perfect, you're here early. That gives more time for hair and makeup to work.” The producer grabs your wrist and drags you further into the building. Your pokemon follows in a panicked run.

As you sit in a chair, two stylists get to work. “ But I already have makeup on. And I’m just here to help Iono.” You’re silenced as lipstick is applied to your lips.

“Relax, it’s just a bit of a touch-up. It’s so the cameras pick it up better.” The producer sighed. “We won’t have to do much. Your look is already so bold!” True to their words, the makeup artists apply light fixes. Their touch was gentle yet not enough to calm your nerves.

Your heart began to race, and your palms became clammy. “Cameras? Iono didn’t say anything about cameras!” Umbreon ran its head against your leg in a soothing attempt. 

The producer covers their mouth with a hand. “Oops. That was supposed to be a surprise. If Iono asks, I didn’t tell you anything, okay?” 

As if summoned by her name, Iono pops up next to the makeup table. “‘Ello!” The producer leaves rather quickly. “Alright, cutie! It’s time for the world to be entrapped by your beauty!” She nudged the stylists to the side, nuzzling up to you.

“But, Iono! Are you sure this is a good idea? What if your views drop because of it?” 

“Views-shmiews! I wanna show off my sweet, sweet girlfriend! Besides, who wouldn’t be interested in their favorite streamer's private life. It’s gonna draw in viewers like Venomoth to a flame.” She exclaimed. “If they love me as much as they say, they’ll be happy for me.” 

You fiddle with your fingers. You’re not quite sure what to say. Iono means the world to you. All you want is to see her happy. Though is it worth it to be in front of the cameras? In front of her many viewers? 

A smooth hand falls atop yours, calming your fingers and racing thoughts. Iono’s face holds an earnest look. “If you really don’t wanna do it, I won’t make you.” Her thumb grazes your knuckles. “Your comfort comes before, like, a million views. No! Way more than that!” 

“I…” You start, not meeting her bright gaze. “I’ll be on the stream. This is a big part of you. I want to do this with you.”

With a squeal of excitement, Iono leaps from the chair. “For reals?! Yesss! This is gonna break the internet!” She leans forward to press energetic kisses against your face. A nearby makeup artist reprimands her, saying she’ll smudge your makeup. They’re ignored as Iono keeps kissing you with newfound vigor.

“This’ll be a high-voltage stream everyone will wanna see! Come on! You too, cutie Umbreon.” 

Sitting among the vibrant colors of the ‘Iono Zone,’ you feel out of place. The dark palette of your outfit clashed against the set. You run your hands against Umbreon’s sleek coat, trying not to think of how many people are about to see you.

“Okay! Ze plan is simple. I’ll introduce the show like normal, get the audience reaaaal warmed up for yah.” Iono points her sleeve-covered hand toward you. “Then, you’ll give ‘em the old razz ‘n dazz! After that, the chat’ll be explodin’ with messages, so we’ll spend the rest of the stream answerin’ ‘em.” 

Your thumb rubs against the golden hoop on Umbreon’s head. “What if they don’t like me? I mean, we’re both so different.” 

“Say what?! The net loves that kinda stuff. That whole opposites attract thing, ya know. All you gotta do is show ‘em that cutie-pie smile of yours. They’ll be trapped in your love ball!” 

“If you say so…” You trail off.

Iono leaps to your side, giving you one last smooch on the lips. “There! A super duper special kiss for good luck. Not that we’ll need it, haha!” She stands and faces one of the many cameras. “You’ll do great!”

A producer counts down before the cameras start to roll on Iono. She starts the introduction as usual, and her bright and cheery energy infects the room. You can’t help but feel warm seeing Iono do what makes her happy.

“Now, we’re gonna play a super rad game! Do you guys know what it is?” She gives no time for viewers to respond. “I’m gonna tell ya! Who’s Iono’s super secret guest star? I wondah!” 

The chat rapidly scrolls by, yet Iono still manages to read it. “Alrighty! I’ll tell you, guys, about my super secret guest star. You’ll hafta guess who it is!” She laughs before winking at the camera. “Though I bet you won’t get it!” 

She takes a moment to read that chat. “Do we know them? Hm, I’m not gonna say, nyohoho. First clue: They wear lotsa dark colors, like a Gastly stalking the night.”

‘It is Chairwoman Geeta?’

‘It’s gotta be Gym Leader Larry!’

‘lol imagine if she brought an actual gastly’

“Hm, I haven’t seen the right answer yet.” Her eyes flicker to yours for just a moment. “Second clue: They have the most cutest smile ever! I’m electrified every time I see it.”

‘Definitely isn’t Larry…’

‘Ooo could it be a girl?’

‘maybe it is a gastly’

“Wowzah! We got our first guess. She’s, in fact, a girl.” The chat begins to rapidly fire messages. One, in particular, catches Iono’s eye. “Khe?! Did someone get the right answer already? I thought I was being supes sneaky with the clues.” Her hair clips circle her head.

‘Tell us who it is!’

Iono flaps her arms side to side, pulling a mock hurt expression. “Geez, you guys are so impatient. Well, if you reeeaallly wanna know who it is, I’ll tell yah.” She sets her hands on her hips, giving the camera a wide smile.

She skips over to you, and the camera follows. “Dun-Dun! My super secret guest star is none other than my cool girlfriend! Say hello to the stream, cutie!”

You flash the camera with a nervous smile and you introduce yourself and your Umbreon. The chat spams with questions, comments, and Iono themed emotes. 

‘No way! Iono got game!’

‘How cute, they’re like total opposites!’ 

‘Who asked out the other first?’

‘I bet Umbreon and Bellibolt are such good friends!’

Iono brings her chair closer to yours. “I know it’s hard to believe, but she was the one that asked. Even with her Whismur personality, nyohoho! Oh, tell ‘em how. It was just the cutest thing ever.”

The camera pans closer to your face, and your heart feels like it’ll beat out of your chest. “I just asked.” You laughed nervously. “I don’t remember doing anything cute.” 

A sleeved arm slings around your shoulder. Iono’s body rests upon yours. “What? Everythin’ about it was cute. You didn’t even bring up the bouquet of flowers you brought for me. It was bigger than an extra-large Voltorb!”

A heavy flush covers your cheeks. The chat spams with heart emojis and comments alike. “Uh, well, then they should know how adorable you were. Your hairclips practically flew off your head and your face was so pink.”

"I promised I'd show you how it's done, right?" Iono said, chuckling at your flushed expression. You laid on your back with your bubbly girlfriend on top of you. Your shirt already discarded as she ran her hands down your chest.

"I-I didn't expect you to just go for it." You managed to chuckle. You felt Iono get settled right on your lap as she grinded her ass down on you.

"How could I not, you told me you were a virgin." She pointed out, making you groan.

"Wishing I hadn't told you that bit of info now." You said and she just sighed. She scooted down until she was straddling your thighs and began undoing the buttons on the pants you decided to wear today.

"Ah, the dirty virgin trying to take advantage of their poor gamer girlfriend, how scandalous." Iono said while placing a hand over her heart. The other one managed to get the buttons off and started to pull your pants off your hips.

"You're literally stripping me down, Iono." You pointed out, "If anyone is getting taken advantage of, it's me." You chuckled, making Iono roll her eyes.

"You're fine, safe word is electric." She said, finally getting your pants down.

AFAB

She slid her hand between your legs, her fingers tracing up your cunt, as she wiggled a single finger in there. You groaned out a sigh, loving how it felt when you weren't the one doing it. She chuckled at your reaction as she bent down enough to bit down on one breast.

You managed a startled yelp as her sharp teeth got a bit too close to breaking skin. She chuckled, sitting back up as she inserted another finger. Her thumb came over to rest on top of your clit as she rolled it in time with her thrusts.

"You know, I bet you could fit one of my eight inch straps." She mused, making you shiver at the thought.

"Iono, that might be too big...at least for this time." You sighed out, feeling her fingers scissoring in you to help stretch you.

"So in the future, ya?" She asked, her giant grin spreading across her face. You let out a small laugh and nodded.

"Ya, sure." You said, getting used to her fingers. They were about the same size as yours so it wasn't anything you weren't unused to.

"Perfect...now you wait here while I get everything." She said as she took her fingers out of you. Her now wet hand gave your thigh a bit of a pinch before she left the bed. You leaned on your forearms as she shuffled around her room, collecting a few items. You noticed a strap-on belt and a toy in her hand that she seemed to have just unboxed.

"Iono...have you been preparing for this?" You questioned her. The multi-colored hair girl turned to you as her smile widened.

"Uh doi! Ever since we started going out, actually." She said while starting to strip. She was pretty damn efficient with putting on the strap on belt and the bright yellow toy. It had to be around six inches, if you had to guess. She then walked back over to the bed and got on her knees. She spread her legs to present the toy for closer inspection. "I'm pretty hung, if I do say so myself." She chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

"Totally hung, babe." You said, watching her grab some lube and pour it over her hand. She stroked the toy and you couldn't help but bite your lip in anticipation. Once she was satisfied with how slicked up it was, her attention turned back to you. With the left over lube she trailed back over your cunt and placed three fingers inside. She curled them inward, causing you to gasp and buck your hips into her hand. She managed to hit just the right spot; Iono chuckled at your reaction as she retracted her fingers.

"Alright, you remember the safeword, ya?" Iono checked with you, "Promise to use it if it starts hurting...I mean unless you're into that kinda thing." She murmured at the very end.

"It's electric, and I'll be sure to use it." You said as you got comfortable on the bed. The head of the toy pressed against your entrance and slowly began sliding in. With how slicked up it was, and how she worked you open, it slid it without ant resistance. You groaned at the full feeling and almost wished you told her to go with the larger toy.

"Feeling good, babe?" Iono said, rolling her hip against your own. You gasped at the friction and wiggled a bit.

"Fuck, that feels good." You said and Iono chuckled. She grabbed your legs and threw them over her shoulder before her nails dug into your hips and dragged you closer to her.

"Imma make you feel sparks of pleasure, that I can promise ya." She said with a wink. Her hips began a steady rhythm against your own while her hand went back to rolling your clit. You let out soft moans and whimpers as you felt your entire body getting tense and hot.

She managed to angle the toy inside of you just right to hit the spongy spot inside of you, and you almost screamed at the sudden feeling.

"R-right there, please Iono!" You cried out, your voice getting higher in pitch as her speed got faster.

"You're so cute like this." She said between pants, "I should grab a photo." She teased, giving you a particularly harsh thrust. You groaned out, feeling how you were so close to the edge, "Come on babe, cum for me, please." Iono said as she worked harder to bring you to the edge.

You felt yourself snap inside as warmth rushed over your entire body. You let out a high pitched wail as you came around the toy, tensing up enough that Iono had trouble thrusting the toy in you. She chuckled at your expression as you were panting and coming down.

"You did so good for me." Iono finally said as she slid the toy out of you.

"You did all the work." You managed to say, watching as Iono worked the strap off her hips.

"Oh don't worry, I'll be putting you to work." Iono said and you hummed in confusion, "I'm about to teach you your next sex lesson, and it's putting your face to good use as my chair." This woman would be the death of you, mark your own words.

AMAB

Iono took out your cock and gave it a few experimental strokes, causing you to throw your head back and groan. Her hand felt way better than your own and you couldn't help but buck into her hand. There was already precum dripping from the head as you looked almost embarrassed.

"Oh boy, was that a pen in your pocket or where you just happy to see me? No, I already know the answer." Iono teased as she continued stroking your cock.

"Really, with the bad jokes? Right now?" You asked and she shot you a smirk.

"Really? In front of my salad?" She mocked and you rolled your eyes. You would've said more if not for how good her hand felt on you. The way she twisted her wrist just right was doing something to you.

"You're the worst." You groaned, biting down on your lip as you tried to hold back the pleasure.

"I know...now sit tight I need to grab condoms." Iono said, her hand being taken away from your cock. She turned back and smirked, "It's a good thing I got the extra large condoms for that piece of meat." She joked. You couldn't help but laugh at her. She bounced around the room until she came back with the box. She tore off the top with her teeth and tossed the pieces of the side.

She grabbed one condom out, undid the wrapping, before sliding it over your cock. Once she was satisfied, she began stripping. You couldn't help but stare as she shed off all her layers of clothes. Once she was stripped bare, she hovered over your cock. She gave it a few more strokes before sliding down on your length.

Iono let out an exaggerated moan as she bottomed out on you and the feeling of her tight walls pulsating around you was almost enough to make you cum on the spot. She noticed your struggle and chuckled, raising her hips and slamming back down.

"F-fuck!" You managed to groan out, gritting your teeth so you didn't cum instantly.

"Gonna cum already?" Iono teased, her hands splaying across your stomach, "That's fine, but I won't be stopping until I finish, ya?" She winked at you. You gasped as she began riding you, her chest bouncing slightly every time she dropped back down. You were holding back as much as you could, but seeing your cock disappearing into her cunt was enough to throw you over.

You came hard into the condom, too thrown into the pleasure to me embarrassed by how you couldn't last more than five minutes of being inside her. Once you started to come down, you realized how sensitive you were, and how Iono was determined to not stop.

You watched her grab your hand, placing it right over her clit and she shot you a wink, "Rub right here if you want me to cum soon." She said. You didn't have to be told twice. You winced as her hips continued driving down on yours, her moans high pitched and filling the air. Your fingers pressed a bit harder on her clit and you felt her walls pulsating around you.

Iono let out a cry as she came on you, her hips stuttering as she finally started to come down. She groaned, stilling herself at the base of your cock as she caught her breath. She looked at you with a tired smile, "We're gonna have to work on your stamina sometime...but that was pretty fun, huh?" You couldn't help but chuckle. Damn, you were in love.