Prompt #8: Shed
Silvaineaux stood like a very cooperative statue as Alain peeled off his armor. Ponze of weight lifted from him with that careful work and if his valet had some complaints or thoughts about the sand his earlier pacing had left on his boots, he seemed to judge that this was not the time to speak them. Silvaineaux was as grateful for that silence as he was for the weight Alain helped him shed with his pauldrons and breastplate.Ā
It was not until Alain had finished and buckled the last piece onto the stand for maintenance and polishing that Silvaineaux finally felt light enough to drag himself out of the weight of his thoughts. He turned to Alain then, reaching out to squeeze the manās shoulder. āThank you.āĀ
Alainās rather sober face briefly lit with a small smile. There was an understanding in that smile that Silvaineaux suddenly thought only a few people shared. In his turn he noticed the tightness around Alainās eyes, the set of his jaw that said the pain that troubled him was exceptionally troublesome today. āOf course, my lord.ā Was all he said.
āLeave the polishing and such until tomorrow.ā Silvaineaux said. āIt is late. Iām for bed and you should be too.ā
Alain didnāt argue, which told Silvaineaux how bad it was and added another layer of guilt to that which hung over him in place of his armor.Ā
He watched his valet out of sight down the hallway before closing the armory door and making his own way back to his rooms. He shed another more ephemeral layer when he closed the door of the bedroom behind him. He stripped his underlayers off slowly, sinking back into the morass of his thoughts.
Here in this silent space with only his thoughts he did not need to try to conceal them. He let that too fall away, like a mask cracking and breaking off his face. And when he sank finally into the chair beside the fire he allowed his shoulders to slump with it.Ā
He had never liked Viper, though he found him pretty enough in his way. But then Silvaineaux had always found it was very hard to like someone when they made their distaste of you so apparent. He had never understood anything other than dislike in the way Viper was with him. And if much later he had learned that that dislike was in part born of grief and disappointment it did nothing to help his own feelings regarding it.
Here in his own quiet space with the company of the crackling fire he could admit that he had disliked Viper as much because that incomprehensible hatred wounded his own feelings as for any other reason. Viper, he thought, had disliked him for not being his older brother.
Yet for all that bad blood and unknowingly shared grief he would never have wished Viper the kind of harm he had met tonight. They had never been friends but perhaps without his knowledge they had always been something like family. It had hurt to watch Viper bleed, to hear Inwa cry, and to know there was nothing he could do about either thing.
It hurt still more in some place between feelings and pride that Elias had chosen to defy him so. That his own effort to stop the whole mess had not been enough. He had always thought that dragoon trusted him. He had thought Elias liked him enough to listen. He had failed there somewhere too.Ā
Tonight the weight of the ways he had failed people he cared for, his people, was far heavier than the armor Alain had stripped from him. It was impossible to shed. The burn of the whiskey didnāt sear it away and after a moment Silvaineaux set his glass aside and let his face fall into the cradle of his hands. At least here, with only the fire and the drink for company, he could drop the pretense that it didnāt touch him.
@thedarknesssings for Viper, @blisteringstar for Inwa, @gorgagne-viperidae for Elias A belated post Priarch RP reaction story.
