How to ask an INTP to marry you
This recounting of true events is for @intpugs who asked for it.
first let me say that I’m a very logic driven person when it comes to making long term commitments..mostly I don’t make them because they give me anxiety..so you can imagine what the idea of marriage did to my brain.
The first time my, now husband, asked me to marry him I laughed out loud because I thought it was a joke. I had told him before that I thought marriage was illogical and on a moral level I didn’t feel that a commitment between two people needed to involve the government. I was 20 years old.
The second time my husband asked me to marry him I didn’t laugh but I did look at him askance. I had not changed my mind about marriage in general and again I didn’t feel that a “legal” contract involving the government was necessary. So again I said no. I was 22 years old.
Anyone else, literally ANYONE ELSE would have walked away from me and all my weirdness but not my husband. He stuck around and later he asked me again. The circumstances were different as we had found out that I was pregnant with our first child and I guess he thought I would be more amenable to marriage. He was wrong. My answer was “I’m all hopped up on pregnancy hormones and clearly not in my right mind so I’m obviously not in a position to make a life long decision of that magnitude!”. I was 26 years old.
Two year later he asked me again and I finally said yes because it wasn’t about me. It was clear that he wanted this, that he needed this, that that piece of paper meant a great deal more to him than it ever would to me. I was content with the commitment being between the two of us but he was older than me and raised differently from me and so he wanted and needed the ceremony and the pomp and the legal right to claim me as his wife in any court of law. For love of him I said yes. Relationships are not about pieces of paper or name changes, (I never changed my last name and weirdly he was ok with that) they aren’t about your political beliefs. Relationships are a CHOICE that you make every day. Marriage is a choice that you make every day. Love may be what got you there or started you out on that road but it’s a conscious choice that you make every day afterward to keep at it.
My husband and I have been legally married for 12 years but we’ve been MARRIED since the first time he asked me when I was 20 years old.
We’ve been through a lot of life events together and each day we make a decision to stay together. It’s not always easy, we don’t always agree, we have had some stupendously awful disagreements, I’m never going to all the way understand him and he’s never going to all the way understand me. He doesn’t get my love of anime, comics, graphic novels, and books. I don’t understand his obsession with youtube videos or earth ships or off the grid living and that’s all ok. He wants to watch Naked and Alone on t.v. and I want to NOT watch that! Like ever! I want to read my books in the room with everyone else and that’s ok cause I can do that while he watches these survival t.v. shows..I really don’t get them guys I really don’t.
He still reads books and recommends them to me. We’ve read books together and discussed them. He challenges my viewpoints on many things and it’s been a real adventure raising our kids together.
Our wedding was a small intimate affair. It was full of the symbolism that represented the two of us. We were married outside at the confluence point in June, we had a family BBQ afterward, I was forced to wear white because apparently Red and Black are not appropriate “wedding dress” colors. (WHATEVER MOM)! My wedding ring is not a diamond. First because I have serious moral objections to diamonds and secondly because I actually don’t like them I think they’re kind of boring and waaaayyy too common. Instead my husband gave me his mother’s ring that she wore on her finger when she escaped from Cuba in the 60′s. It;s the only piece of family jewelry that made the trip and that means more to me than any expensive stone! My ring represents freedom, family, and history. It’s a tigers eye agate set in a sterling silver setting. It doesn’t sparkle or flash or shine and I love that it doesn’t it’s beautiful because of what it represents not what it looks like and that is how I see our marriage.
So there you go @intpugs that’s the story of how a persistent Aries convinced a stubbornly independent, Sagittarius-INTP to marry him. He wore my ass down!!! LOL
