#socialising

Disciplined - if a target is set, it is achieved 

Speaking - Can speak multiple languages. Can express thoughts clearly even if vocabulary is limited. The listener understands their point. 

Strong extroversion socially - can approach and talk to new people with ease, but also make them feel comfortable. Good at following up, asking questions and inserting little stories about themselves without exposing too much 

Strong general knowledge / industry knowledge. They know what they’re talking about 

Hard to please but not arrogant about it. They won’t readily accept a fact or opinion, even if the majority agrees - they’ll debate with it, think over it, play the devil’s advocate

Good posture

Strong set of principles and self control. There’s no shame in wanting to say, help someone, choose not to drink socially, buy a coffee for a poor person on the street; they don’t hesitate to do good deeds 

Hygienic. Clean, groomed, well dressed, well maintained. 

Observant and proactive at the same time. Can pick up on body language relatively easily - can sense discomfort or unease in someone and do something about it. 

Like, if your concern is “I’m worried I’ll stop being friends or hanging out with people if I stop messaging them first” just- don’t stop messaging first?

But if the problem is “I feel like our relationship is one sided” or “I’m putting more energy into this than I can afford” or “I’m feeling unloved” these are things you can resolve with the friend.

“Hey is it okay if we chat about our friendship/relationship? I’ve been feeling like I’m always the one to message first or suggesting we make plans and it’s making me feel [tired, neglected, insecure.]” and if they respond positively, congrats you can work on your relationship! And if they respond negatively, congrats they probably weren’t the right friend for you and now you know that.

I’m not making this post to shame anyone, because I know these feelings can be really strong and anxiety inducing and hard to untangle. But never underestimate the power of just talking about your feelings in your relationships. Everyone always talks about how they forget to respond to messages for ages, but it never seems to come up that that can be applied to your friends too.

@maggot-hegemol

Well, anything for a friend...

Am I? Or is it my only window into the outside world, into socialising, my only outside source of news, information and companionship when my body has failed me so irreversibly that leaving my house is impossible without severe consequences?

My phone is a disability aid atp because it helps me connect to other people from the comfort of my home, without unnecessary exertion, or having to be presentable to able bodied folks when I'm unable to tend to my basic needs.