#intosnarkness

and thusly i went to your blog, typed my username into the search, and found a reference to me teaching you what a heavy shirt is.

hi megan. stop doing this to me <3 <3 <3

💲💲💲💲💲💲💲

”Bucky is the Man Car Dorr Hook Hand

Okay I felt like this was a story I’d already told so I did a bunch of searches and I FOUND IT RIGHT HERE.

#I love that this movie gives us three Sam Wilson meetcutes #so you have your choice #flirty boy who runs by him while doing morning routines #flirty girl who winks from the fancy car #and then we have bucky #Flirty Man Hand Hook Car Door

And I really want this to be how scary stories get told in the Falcon and the Winter Soldier household.

Sam’s like “So imagine you’re in a car, just minding your own business, and you hear a scratching noise coming from the roof.”

And Bucky’s like “For fuck’s sake, you asshole.”

And Sam’s like “There are children here, Barnes, fuck you, I am telling a classic scary story. It was probably around when you were a kid.”

(Bucky knows exactly what he’s doing, and Sam knows he knows, and Bucky has not yet accepted that he’s not going to be able to stop it, but honestly he was friends with Steve, he’s recognized Asshole As Friendship Gesture since the 1930s.)

>Did the white boys make their dingle dangles kiss or something? Dramatic heartfelt love confession from one, (with the words i love you!) immediately followed by dying because of fucking course they did lmao

Today! October the twenty-ninth! Is @intosnarkness 's birthday, and I was like "hey, what do you want for your birthday?" and she said "plausible deniability, or you could say nice things about me in public I guess"

now, it's entirely possible that I am not quoting her directly, or half of that is true and half isn't, but what I CAN tell you is that phones confuse me and so for only like three people in the world have I set up a custom text notification, and she's one of them. It's a bird chirp which is not only eerily lifelike, it sounds like it's coming from somewhere else, so only I know who it is. It makes me feel very sneaky and glad, and it absolutely sounds like someone is smacking a Carolina chickadee around when she's having an emotion about something and sends a lot of text messages in a row.

Other great SNARKNESS things, in no particular order:

Her hair, which is exactly like stealing a convertible and putting the top down and heading for Miami. It is amazing. She let me pet it one time.

Anytime she brings up freckles

I am like eight inches taller than her but she can outrun me at the working walk, it's amazing

Old Bay Seasoning, but as a personality trait

Fudge cookies, like a gotdam crack dealer (I would follow her anywhere she liked without incentive, but she uses the cookies to control me)

She has now threatened me in her sleep twice, it was terrifying but lbr I was deeply intrigued like is my friend a cyborg? she is so Good

Crochet WIZARDRY I have an extensive collection of it now and I am not sharing it with anyone

When she writes beautiful things that hurt me, which is pretty much anytime she is writing

OKAY I could go on, but some of her awesome traits are highly classified

IF YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PLEASE CONSIDER YOURSELF INVITED TO CLICK HERE

@intosnarkness

How dare u use evidence ur a witch

witches wear white coats right?

Wanda likes anything fruity. She’ll eat nutella, but grudgingly; it’s supposed to be fruity.

Vision takes Wanda’s side out of loyalty, but has no preferences.

Sam has strong feelings on chocolate hamentaschen (he is pro) and not-chocolate hamentaschen (delicious, but could be better with more chocolate). He’s never going to turn DOWN non-chocolate, just. It’s a flaw people should look into.

Steve’s favorite is prune, but ONLY the way his next door neighbor made them when he was a kid. He has no idea what was in them, but he hasn’t had one that tasted right in almost a century. (Bucky, when sufficiently defrosted, informs him that she had put liquor in them. Homemade, during Prohibition. It never tasted the same once he got older cause she could buy decent booze again. Steve is properly scandalized.)

Rhodey will eat any, but he likes poppyseed best, which they learn the first year Pepper sends two dozen poppy hamentaschen to the Compound. (The next year she is inundated with requests that they think are subtle. They are not, but she orders them anyway, because it’s Purim, that’s what you do.)

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to run SHIELD and be synagogue treasurer?

Well, neither does Nick, because that absolute asshole Herbie Klein, who has the gall to live in DC and still be a Yankees fan, beat him by seven votes, and on his deathbed, when Nick is asked if he has any regrets, it will not be any of the people he killed or missions he launched to keep the earth safe (you’re fucking welcome btw), it will be that when Herbie smiled and shook his hand on a “well-fought race” he just shook his hand instead of using his arm as leverage to throw him across the room.

I am very excited that people re not ashamed to insert themselves, but I feel like it’s out of character for me. That’s not how I behave.