#into-crazy

💕divider by @saradika-graphics

There was something you always liked about your next door neighbor, Negan Smith.

Maybe it was because you were into older men. It could be his cocky, devil-may-care personality. Or perhaps it was that deep husk in his voice that always made your pussy throb. But ever since he's moved here you've had your eyes on him.

You are under the impression that perhaps Negan was attracted you too. As he showers you with compliments every time you see him. There have also been a few times where you've caught him staring at you a little too long. And he's always searching for a reason to be able to "accidentally" touch you in some way.

However, he's never actually told you or made some sort of move. Though neither have you.

The reason being that you are still currently living with your parents. One of them is always around which makes it difficult for you to try and flirt with him. You don't want your parents to know that you're attracted to your older neighbor. What would they think if they found out? Certainly they would disapprove. What makes the matter even worse is that Negan is really good friends with your father. So.. double yikes.

Still, you're always looking for the perfect opportunity to make a move on him.

Luckily for you, your parents are going out of town this weekend to celebrate their anniversary. Your father took another day off from work so that they can come back on Monday. That way they have more time to spend alone together. So there had never been a better opportunity for you than now.

Negan's got a hot tub in his backyard. He had it installed last year. On cool, windy nights he's often in there. In nothing but his black swim trunks, with a glass of whiskey in his hand. You know this all too well because you have a perfect view of it from your bedroom window. It would be embarrassing to admit how many times you've looked out of your window to see if he was out there. Not that you're a total stalker. Only staring at him for no more than a few seconds before carrying on with your day. But man, seeing his wet body sure does make everything better. That broad, hairy chest and those toned, tattooed arms glistening from the water. You've certainly fantasized about being with him in that spa plenty of times. Straddling his lap and making out with him until one of you takes it further.

Negan had said that your parents or even the three of you could go over to use it anytime you wanted. Your parents had went together a couple times. You didn't want to feel like a third wheel, so you didn't go when they invited you. There wasn't any way you would go by yourself, as it doesn't seem appropriate. However, now that your parents are going out of town for a while.. perhaps you could make something work with that.

//

Thursday evening.

Your father and Negan are sitting on the patio, having a couple of beers. When Negan asks about weekend plans, your father tells him about their anniversary getaway. How this is their 25th year together and they wanted to do something special. They are going to be staying at a luxury, spa hotel next to the lake. Spending the entirety of their time there relaxing by the water, drinking expensive wine, and getting full body massages.

"That sounds very nice, the two of you will have a great time." Negan offers his thoughts on the matter. "Twenty five years? That's fucking remarkable."

"Yeah, thanks. We're really looking forward to it." Your father replies before downing the rest of his bottle. "Hey, y/n!" He calls for you from outside.

You poke your head out, briefly locking eyes with Negan and giving him a nod before looking at your father. "Yeah?"

"Could you grab me another beer, sweetheart?"

Negan leans forward, holding his bottle up. "Make that two, would you?"

You go to retrieve them and your father asks Negan if he has anything going on this weekend.

Negan takes the last sip of his beer, taking a second to ponder on it. "Do I have something to do? Uh no, not much." You come back outside with two beers in your hands. Walking over to them you hand your father his beer first as he was closer. "Think I'm gonna spend the weekend drinking and relaxing, myself." You go to give the other bottle to Negan. His hand reaches out to grab it as he keeps talking, "maybe take a dip in the hot tub." His fingers brush over yours as he takes the beverage. You look at him and he gives you a half smirk, "thank you darlin'."

"You're welcome." You smile back at him before turning around to go back inside. God, the tension you've just felt. Also, that pet name definitely made you blush.

Good thing your father was focused on popping opening his bottle and didn't notice the exchange. Because you were certainly burning up after that. Why does Negan keep doing that to you? Surely he must know the effect he has on you. And that mention about his hot tub was certainly a jab at you. Yeah.. he knows. He fucking knows!

//

Friday arrives.

You had work/studies the whole morning. But your parents spent the time getting everything ready for their trip. Making sure that they had their bags packed, and checking to see that things at home will be in order while they're gone. Once the afternoon rolls around, you are in the driveway waving your parents goodbye.

"Have a great time- and drive safe!" You call out just before they drive away.

Finally, you will be home alone for the next few days. Which means you'll have Negan all to yourself.

You've come up with a bold plan. Something risky. You are going to make the first move. Show him how very interested you are in him.

Negan had left his house shortly after the sun had went down. Which wasn't an issue for you, since that would make it much easier for you to carry out your plan.

You picked out the hottest, most revealing bikini that you own and booked it over to Negan's house. Making sure that none of the other neighbors see you before letting yourself in through the backyard gate. It wasn't new to you as you've already been here quite a few times for casual hangouts and such with your parents. But it's now the first time you been over here by yourself. It brings on a surge of adrenaline.

Taking the time you have to set the mood, you start up the spa. Turning on his radio and setting it on low to your local station that plays all the best love songs. After everything seems to be set, you take off your clothes and climb into the large tub. Settling into the water with a sigh. The water is hot and the jets feel amazing on your back. Now you know why Negan loves this thing so much, it's incredible!

Some time goes by before you ultimately hear the sound of a car pulling up front. You get up out of the water and sit on the edge of the tub. On the farthest one, that way you are facing the back door in which you anticipate Negan will come out from. There are lights being turned on inside, confirming that he's home. Your heart pounds faster in your chest when you realize they're getting closer. Then the light above you comes on, the door swings open, and out steps Negan.

The instant his eyes land on you he is visibly shocked. "What the hell- y/n? What are you doing here?"

His eyes travel down your entire body then snap back up to your face. You're wearing the tiniest fucking bikini he's ever seen, it's barely covering anything!

You bite your lip, looking him up and down. He's got on a fitted tshirt with some dark jeans, and his leather jacket folded over his arm. You grin at him before reply, "hi Negan. I hope you don't mind that I came over for a dip, since you said I could anytime." Using one hand to brace yourself on the tub, you lean back and spread your legs. Running the other hand teasing up your thigh. "I'd really like it if you'd join me."

He speaks to you with a mixture of anger and urgency, "damn it y/n, this seriously isn't the-" Something cuts him off.

"Hey, there you are." A woman suddenly steps out of the house looking for Negan. You quickly close your legs, startled by this new woman's presence. Her gaze immediately widens at you before turning towards him, "I'm sorry, who's this?"

This is one of the most embarrassing things that could have ever happened to you. Clearly she saw you flirting lewdly with Negan. You search around desperately for something to cover up, but there's nothing nearby. The lower half of your body is frozen in place and refuses to move. So you sit there awkwardly. Managing to get out, "shit, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't realize you had company."

The woman still stares at Negan, expecting an answer. He sighs, "this is my neighbor. She lives right next door. Look I swear, I didn't know she would come over like this. But I know her parents and we'll find a way to deal with this."

He looks at you with disappointment in his eyes, which crushes you even more. You wish you could just go back to prevent this from happening.

The woman still appears uneasy about the whole situation, and rightfully so. You've just completely interrupted their evening. She motions towards the door, "yeah I think I'm going to go. You obviously have something here you need to take care of and I really don't want to stay for that."

Negan swears under his breath, shaking his head before replying. "Yeah, I understand."

He opens the door so she can go inside and grab her things. As she goes in, he directs his attention towards you. "Stay right there. Don't you go anywhere, young lady."

You give him an apologetic nod and he steps in after the woman. Sinking back into the water as it gives you some form of coverage. This sucks. It seriously does. Now you're worried that he's going to tell your parents about this, fuck! You use the time to come up with something, to beg him not to tell on you.

A minute or so goes by before the opening of the door catches your attention. Negan steps outside. He takes a few steps towards you, then plants his feet and crosses his arms. He looks beyond pissed. "Well then, would you mind telling me what the fuck you think you're doing?"

You tense up, unable to make or hold eye contact with him. Instead choosing to stare down at the water in front of you. "I-I'm really sorry, Negan. I shouldn't have come over like this."

"No you shouldn't have, this is highly inappropriate." He berates you more. "And you know that. What the hell were you thinking?"

Tears start to form in your eyes. You feel like a dog that's being scorned for peeing on the carpet. "I know it is, and I'm so sorry.. But I promise to never do it again. I'll just go home okay. P-Please don't tell my parents about this."

Negan clicks his tongue sharply at that. "Shit I don't know. There's a lot you did that I can't just let go. Breaking into my backyard, using my stuff without asking, wearing practically nothing and then opening your legs in front of me like a fucking slut."

You miss the way his tone changes towards the end of that last sentence. "I sincerely apologize, and especially for ruining your date. I didn't mean to do that. I won't do it ever again."

He exhales heavily. "Look at me."

You muster up enough courage to bring your gaze up towards him. He looks hot when he's mad. And you hate to admit it, but his scolding gives your core a pleasant sensation. It's a strange feeling, you're unsure how to describe it. Your thighs squeeze together as a result of that. Negan seems to have caught on to that as well.

"I guess I don't have to tell your folks about any of this," he starts. "And I won't tell them, if you get back up that ledge and spread those legs again."

"I'm- you want me to do what?" You reply shakily. Not sure whether you heard him correctly or not. But that heavy look in his eyes tell you that he was dead serious.

"I said get back on that Goddamn ledge and spread those pretty fucking legs for me. You want me to keep my mouth shut, don't you?"

A shiver rattles your spine at his words. You nod, "mhm."

He gives a hum. "What are you waiting for, then? Get your ass up there."

You emerge from the water and sit right back where you were before. Doing as you're told and opening your legs. Shame and arousal mix together pleasantly throughout your body when you notice his gaze trailing over every part of your body.

Negan gives a wolf whistle, "Hot damn that is a wonderful sight to see." He is at the other side of the tub now, leaning against it to get a better view. "Now do me a favor and undo those straps, sweetheart. I wanna see it all."

Using your hand you release every strap of your bikini. Starting first with the top, then the bottoms. Letting the articles fall onto the floor behind you. You are now completely naked, your plush breasts and warm cunt on full display before Negan.

He licks his lips, "shit baby, you look absolutely fucking gorgeous." There is a tent at the front of his pants, indicating that he's getting hard from the sight of you. He removes his own clothing, stripping down to his boxers. Then he climbs into the tub, sitting at the opposite end of you. "Go on and touch yourself."

Your fingers move to your clit, drawing circles at a teasing- yet pleasurable pace. Inserting them into your aching hole then bringing them back to smear your wetness around your bud. Releasing moans and whimpers that are music to Negan's ears.

He runs his own hand over his bulge. His breath is getting heavier, "is this how you touch yourself when you're thinking about me?"

"Yes," you nod, admitting that you do.

"Yeah, I bet you think about me every time huh? Thinking about my fingers instead of your own inside you. Sitting that pretty ass on my face while I eat that pussy. Or my cock slamming in and out of you as I fuck you dumb. Is that right baby?"

Your hips stutter as you listen to every filthy word that left his mouth. "God, yes.. I think about you all the time Negan. I want you s-so bad."

A chuckle leaves his lips. "I know you do." He leaves the wall and comes closer to you. His hazel eyes filled with lust. "And you wanna know something? I want you too." Standing directly before you, he places his large palms on your thighs. Gliding them up to your stomach. "I've wanted you for so long, you have no fucking idea how crazy it drove me." He brings his face closer to where his lips are almost touching yours. "And now that I've got you all to myself I'm gonna take my time and enjoy every second of it."

He leans in, capturing your mouth in a passionate kiss. Slipping his tongue into your welcoming mouth, you can taste the whiskey that he'd been drinking. The roughness of his beard scratches pleasantly against your soft skin while he devours you. One of his hands caresses your breasts as he trails wet kisses and marks down your neck. Pulling back slightly to look at your breast when he rubs and pinches at your peaked nipple. "You've got some nice tits." He states, taking it into his mouth to suck on the bud.

Your fingers run through his hair while he sucks marks on to your chest. Meanwhile your core is aching for some attention, your hips press against him. "Negan, please."

He chuckles at your neediness. "Look at you squirming for me. Don't worry, I'm gonna give you what you need." Sliding further down your body, he brings his face to your pelvis. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, wasting no more time as he buries his face in your eager cunt. He licks a long strip up your slit towards your clit, letting out a deep groan. "Fuck, your pussy tastes amazing." He laps at you a few more times before his tongue travels upward to lick and suck on your clit. Inserting two of his thick fingers into your dripping entrance, he begins pumping them in and out of you. Skillfully curling them against that spot that immediately gets you closer and closer to your orgasm.

"Oh f-fuck, right there- please." You moan, right on the verge of sweet release. Trying hard not to be too loud as to not alert any of the neighbors.

He can feel by the tightening of your walls that you are about to cum. "Go ahead baby, cum all over my face."

His approval was everything you needed. Your orgasm gushes out of you while you let go with a strained cry. Negan laps it up with a satisfied hum. There's a shift in his eyes when he looks up at you, they're darker. Hungrier. Once you come back down from the high you bring your focus to his cock, straining to get out of his drenched boxers. The article sticking to his skin, giving a gorgeous outline of his manhood. You reach down, palming it. The action making him hiss.

"Want something, darlin'?"

You reach under the waistband to fully grasp his hardened member. Stroking it while whispering, "I want this.. want you."

"Good, because I need to feel that pussy around my dick now." He snatches you off from the edge, turning you around and bending you over it. Tugging down the rest of his boxers, he pulls out his cock. He lines himself up with your entrance and slides right in, the intrusion making both of you groan. The water sloshes around more violently as he pounds into you. "Shit you're so fucking tight. Keep sucking me right in" He pants while thrusting into you. You moan in ecstasy, not able to do much but lay there and take his cock. He leans over you, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head to the side so he can talk in your ear. "Such a dirty fucking girl you are. I wonder what your old man would think if he found out, hm? That you snuck over here and let me fuck you like the horny little slut that you are."

You let out a loud cry in response, your spongy walls clamping tighter down on him. "I.. I don't know." Was all you manage to mutter out.

A deep chuckle leaves his lips, brushing past your sensitive skin. "Oh you don't? Maybe I should ask him then."

"No!" You nearly scream out loud. "Don't tell him, please!"

His brutal thrusting doesn't falter, slamming into you balls deep every thrust. "I won't if you promise to be a good girl and cum on my cock."

"God yes- yes! I promise to cum all over your cock."

His hand snakes in front of you to rub firmly on your clit. The extra stimulation making your body tremble uncontrollably under him. You are so close to cumming and so is he, but he needs you to let go first. He urges you on, "that's it baby, cum for me."

"Ohh fuck, fuck, fuck!" Your eyes roll back and you finally cum. Cunt squeezing down hard on his cock and milking him of his own orgasm. He pulls out of you just in time to shoot his load all over your back. Releasing a deep groan as he paints your skin with his warm, milky seed.

"Holy shit," Negan laughs breathlessly. The two of you stay there for a few seconds to catch your breaths. He is the first to move, "alright stay right here. I'm gonna get something to clean you up." He exits the spa, going to collect a towel from the towel rack. Stepping back in he uses the article to wipe your pussy and the cum from your back. Making sure you are nice and clear before tossing the soiled cloth on to the floor. He taps you lightly, "all done."

"Thank you," you return coming off the edge and settling down next to him in the relaxing water. Both naked and satisfied.

He wraps his arm around your shoulders, giving you a sweet peck on your lips. "That was fucking incredible."

"Mm, sure was." You sigh contentedly, resting your head on his chest.

His thumb brushes affectionately against your arm. "It looks like I've got you all to myself for the next couple of days."

"What happens after that?"

He gives a half smirk. "We'll figure that out later. But you are mine and I'm not giving you up, that's for damn sure."

He likes all of the crazy lights and decorations. Especially when green and red- his signature colors- are put on full display around Gotham.

Speaking of which, expect there to be YARDS of those Christmas colors hanging everywhere in your house.

RIP December light bill.

"J, why is there an entire light show in my bathroom?"

"Oh ya know, just getting into the holiday spirit. But also putting my colors in every room so that you're constantly thinking of me."

He'll bring you back a real tree to decorate. A big one that barely fits in your living space. Only the best for you.

He will purposely break the ornaments. Throwing them across the room and watching them shatter while laughing hysterically. But don't worry, if he breaks too many of them he'll get you some more.

If there's mistletoe hanging up above he's definitely giving you a kiss that'll quite literally take your breath away and leave you dizzy.

Joker hums along to a select few Christmas songs. One of his favorites is Rocking Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee.

He's definitely going to wear a Santa suit when he goes to carry out some of his jobs or even terrorize the city. If anyone gives him any sort of trouble, then he'll deem them as "naughty" and kill them.

If Batman is the one who gives him trouble then Joker will simply refer to him as a grinch for spoiling his fun.

The suit will also be worn when Joker's home with you. And yes, he'll expect you to call him Santa J.

If you happen to wear a sexy little elf outfit, know that there will be nothing to hold him back from ravaging you.

Lots of terrible dirty jokes from him.

"How about I uh- stuff your stocking for Christmas, doll?" // "Santa will definitely be coming tonight." // "Be a good girl and let me slide down your chimney and deliver your gift."

Speaking of presents, Joker will give you lots of gifts. Expensive jewelry, luxury handbags, designer shoes, pretty lingerie, books, candles. Anything for you.

Sure he might have stolen everything. However it's the thought that counts, right?

You gift him items that you know he'd like and would most likely use. Patterned socks and boxers. A brand new camcorder since he broke his last one. A few custom, well-made knives with a 'J' embedded in the handles. Stacks of red, white, and black greasepaint.

He will wear matching pajama pants with you. By the way, that is to be strictly kept between the two of you.

Since he's got a major sweet tooth, he'll eat up any sweet goodies you make. Gingerbread cookies, hot chocolate, homemade rice crispies- you make it, he'll eat it.

💕divider by @saradika-graphics

It felt great to be back home. After hours of driving, you finally come up to your destination. The sight of your house gives you a sense of familiar comfort. You've been away for too long, longer than you probably should have. Truth be told you had certainly missed your hometown.

Your aunt Rena greets you as your car pulls into the driveway. Waving at you with a huge smile on her face.

It's been a while since you've last seen her, a little over a year. Though you've kept in close contact through phone calls and text messages. She is pretty much the only close family member you have left in your life.

Your parents had passed away from an accident three years ago. You'd already been living out on your own by then. Aunt Rena was living with them at the time, she was the one to call you and deliver the tragic news. It shattered your heart. You remember dropping to your knees and sobbing for hours. You loved and cared for your parents so much. It took a lot to bring you back together, and your aunt was there to help you through it all. You were an only child so your parents had left you everything. The house, you felt it was best to share with your aunt. After all, she's like a second mother to you. Plus there was no use in going through the trouble of selling the property and having the two of you deal with that mess. So instead you'd both agreed that the house would remain in your name, and Rena would continue to live there.

"There she is- my favorite girl!" Aunt Rena exclaims as you get out of your car.

"Hi aunt Rena." You greet her back wholeheartedly before going in for a hug.

She throws her arms around you and squeezes tight. "Ah, I missed you so so much!"

"I missed you too."

"How about we go inside, get you something cold to drink. Then we can come and get the rest of your things after." She suggests, taking the bag from your shoulder.

"That sounds great." You sigh with relief before following her inside. It was a long drive and you could definitely use a break.

You sit and take the time to tell her about your drive. After that, you get to work on getting settled in. Your aunt helps out with carrying your bags inside. Which wasn't too many, yet she insisted on offering a hand. She takes the two you give her and takes them into the house. You sling the last bag over your shoulder, then close and lock up your car. At that moment, you see a couple figures out of the corner of your eye.

"Y/n, is that really you?"

Looking at them, you recognize it to be your neighbors. It's Lori Grimes and her son Carl. They live right next door along with Rick Grimes- Lori's husband. They were good friends with your parents. You used to babysit Carl for them when he was a toddler. He's a little older now, by a few years. From the looks of it the two of them had just gotten home.

"Mrs. Grimes, hi! Gosh it's- it's been so long. How are you guys?" You wave and go over to give her a quick hug.

"Honey for the hundredth time, call me Lori. And you know us, always busy." She replies. "Hey, you remember our son Carl."

"Are you kidding, of course I do!" You look down at Carl. "Hey little man."

She pats Carl's hair, "sweetie, do you remember y/n?"

Carl looks up at you and smiles once he recognizes you. "Yes, hi y/n!"

He runs up and gives you the biggest hug, it's clear that he is excited to see you again. You're not all too surprised that he still recognizes you. You doubt he'd forget his favorite babysitter.

"You're back! Are you here to stay?" He looks up at you without letting you go. "Please say that you're staying."

His mother feels the need to save you from Carl's embrace, even though you don't mind it at all. "Come on sweetie, let her go. Don't you see her hands are full?"

You laugh at her playful teasing. "Ah it's okay. And don't worry, I'll be staying for a while so we'll have lots of time to catch up. What do you say, that sound good?"

Carl nods his head gleefully in response.

"Oh, well actually this weekend we're-" Lori's sentence is interrupted by the sound of a car horn.

The sound belonging to a sheriff's car pulling up to the curb. Looks like it's Rick, who's also just getting home from work. "Is that who I think it is?" He asks while exiting the vehicle.

"Dad!" Carl exclaims before running over to him. He grabs his father's arm and excitedly guides him over. "Come on, look who's here."

"I know, I see her." Rick acknowledges with a smile. "Y/n. When did you get back?"

"Just today." You reply. "My aunt and I are finishing up bringing in the rest of my bags. I'll be staying for a while."

Rick nods. "That's great. Well we're just glad you're back. I'm sure Rena's very happy. You know she was always talkin' about how much she missed you."

You shake your head, "sounds like her."

"Hey," he continues, "we had already told your aunt but we're having a party for Carl this Saturday. A barbecue. You're more than welcome to come on over."

Lori elaborates, "yeah I was going to mention before- he's going to be turning ten and we're throwing a small party for him."

"You're going to come, right?" Carl asks you. "You've got to, it's going to be the best."

"You bet I'll be there." You assure them.

"Okay then," Lori speaks, "we'll let you get back to settling in. See you this weekend. Oh- and don't forget your swimsuit."

It didn't take you long to unpack. By the time the sun was starting to set, you had already gotten fully situated.

You're wrapped in a silky robe as you enter your bedroom. Fresh from a nice shower. After tossing your dirty garments in the hamper, you go over to the window and look out.

There it is, the house directly across the street from yours. Negan Smith's house.

All the memories of sitting beside this windowsill and waiting to see him flood back in. Parked in the driveway, you see that he still has his '67 Camaro. Red, with the black racing stripes. Of course he still has it. He's always had a thing for classic cars and the color red. How your heart use to flutter when you heard his car coming down the road. You'd sprint to the window like an excited child so you could catch a glimpse of him.

Negan had moved into the neighborhood around the time you turned eighteen. He easily became friends with your dad and Rick, as his charm and strong confidence made it hard not to like him. The first time you met Negan, your dad had casually introduced the two of you. He was definitely older, mid to late thirties. With his jet black hair slicked all the way back and a clean shaven face. He wore a black leather jacket with dark jeans. His whole look definitely gave off greaser vibes and somehow it worked for him. At least you thought he looked good. Handsome, even. It surprised you when you'd found out that he wasn't married or in a relationship. Although you thought that Negan was an attractive guy, there was nothing more to it. He was your dad's friend. That's how you saw him and that was it.

Until later on.. that changed.

**

Flashback:

You were nineteen and it was the middle of crisp September. It was an eventful night, your dad was hosting one of his football viewing gatherings.

You'd just come down the stairs to join everyone, and Negan was there. Relaxed on the couch, with one arm draped across the top and a beer in his hand. His leather jacket was placed beside him, which you figured he must have taken it off at some point. That was the first you'd ever seen him without the jacket on. He wore a white fitted tshirt underneath that hugged his toned torso. On his arms, there were a few tattoos. When he looked over and waved at you, you realized you'd been staring too long. You politely waved back then turned away to greet everyone else. The Grimes were also there. Lori and your mom sat in the kitchen, sipping wine and having their own conversation. Meanwhile the guys all sat in the living room, drinking beers and watching the game. You stood in the middle, unsure of which group to join.

"Want to sit down?"

You blinked a few times, having realized it was Negan that asked you. "Huh?"

"You want to sit down?" He repeated, motioning to the spot next to him.

Looking around, you had realized that there wasn't anywhere else to sit. Though the space beside him looked like a tight squeeze. "Um, no it's okay. I'll go get a chair." You replied with a slight shyness in your voice.

Negan slid over, making more room beside him. "Why do all that when there's enough room over here?" He pat the spot. "Come, sit down."

Your cheeks warmed at the thought of sitting close to him. Admittedly, you felt a bit shy around him. But only because you didn't know him that well yet, as your previous interactions have been rather brief. Such as greetings and some small talk every now and then. Still you thought it might have been rude if you didn't accept his invitation, so you went right over.

"Thanks, Mr. Smith." You expressed your gratitude as you sat down beside him. Instantly you were met with his scent- a mixture of aftershave, cedarwood, and something else that you assumed was his natural musk. It was pleasant, you liked it.

He nodded at you. "Sure thing. And just call me Negan, alright sweetheart. Mr. Smith makes me feel old as shit. Bad enough that I gotta hear it every day at the school."

You laughed as he took a sip of his beer, "okay, sure." Seeing how he was a middle school gym teacher at the local school, you figured it was a way to separate his work life from his personal life. Also, something about the way he called you sweetheart made your chest swell with delight.

As the night went on, you unwittingly paid attention to Negan. You noticed that he wasn't quite as passionate about the football game as the other guys were. Though he showed interest and seemed to be genuinely having a good time. He loved to talk, a lot. He'd crack jokes and talk back and forth with everyone so easily, like it came naturally to him. You admired that about him. Even if about every sentence he spoke contained at least one curse word. His smile was really something, the mere sight of it was enough to make you melt. You'd get butterflies when he let out one of his deep, gravelly laughs. It was a sound you wish you could capture and play on repeat over and over. Somehow he was becoming more attractive the more you would notice about him. Plus you really liked being this close sitting next to him. Something about it felt right. Very inviting.

Okay.. maybe you were developing a teeny, tiny crush on Negan. So what? There's no harm in that. It's not like you were going to act on it or tell anyone. It would just be your own little secret.

**

Well it turns out that you've been holding on to that secret for a long time. Because ever since then, you've been hooked on him. Your attraction to Negan had grown stronger over the years and it hasn't dissipated. Even when you had moved away, it always lingered and you'd think about him from time to time. You've also never told anyone about your feelings for him, which was probably for the best. It was difficult, and you've really wanted to blurt it out on a few occasions. But you didn't. You couldn't. Because once it's out there, there's no taking it back.

You sigh wistfully before moving away from the window to get ready for bed.

After turning off all the lights and shutting your bedroom door, you finally plop down on to the bed. The countless times you've spent lying awake at night thinking about Negan. Imagining what it would be like to be wrapped in his arms. Wondering what his kisses tasted like. Wishing you could be with him.

Oh well. Maybe you'll get to be with him again in your dreams, tonight.

//

The next morning, you mentioned the barbecue to your aunt Rena. It's three days away. She informed you that she was invited as well, however she wasn't going to make it. She's scheduled to go into work early that evening and wasn't able to request it off in time. You felt bad about attending without her. Though she strongly suggested that you should still go even without her. After all, the Grimes are long time friends of yours too.

With that in mind, you still needed to get a birthday gift for the Carl. However you hadn't seen the kid in a while so you had no idea what to get him. Your aunt had mentioned that Carl really enjoyed playing games on his handheld gaming device. When you asked what kind of device it was, she said that it flips open and has two screens. So you figured it must have been a Nintendo DS. They seem to be extremely popular handheld consoles, especially for young kids. After a few more questions from you and some suggestions from her, you'd finally decided on what to get him.

It's now a quarter to noon, and you've just come out of the video game store. Shopping bag in hand, you are pleased about your purchase. You're confident that Carl's going to love the games you got for him.

You're looking down at your phone while walking along the sidewalk towards your car, not paying much attention to your surroundings.

"Holy shit, well if it isn't y/n!"

Suddenly you are halted in your tracks. That voice.. you know it all too well. It's been so long since you've heard that heavenly voice if his. You look up, and there he is.

"Negan?" It takes you a moment to realize that this isn't your imagination playing tricks on you. It's really him. Walking closer to you with that irresistible grin on his face. Be still your heart- he's grown a beard. It's short, neatly trimmed, salt and pepper in color. He looks even better than you ever thought possible. "Oh my god, Negan- hi!" You greet him ecstatically, still unable to believe your eyes.

Negan chuckles heartily. "I thought that was you. Damn, I didn't know that you were back in town. Why wasn't I informed?"

"I had just got back yesterday."

"Oh alright. I guess I'll let it slide then." He jokes around with you. "How've you been, sweetheart? And how's that job in Chicago going?"

You melt inside from him calling you sweetheart again. How you've missed it. Missed him. "I've been okay. I actually quit the job and left Chicago. So I'm going to be staying for a while."

He looks surprised at the news. "Really? What happened?"

"Well um.." It takes you a moment to gather your answer. "I grew tired of living there. Couldn't get used to it and it was starting to become too much for me. And I missed home a lot. So I decided to quit the job and move back. I think it might be good for me to stay, pursue a career here."

He sighs after paying attention to what you had said. "I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you. But hey, at least you went and tried something different. Doesn't hurt to. Even though it didn't work out, at least you can say you tried. Right?"

"Yeah, of course." You incline your head in agreement.

"Good that you're back. I sure missed you and I know that everyone else has." He must be referring to your aunt and the Grimes. "It's been what- a year now?"

"Just over a year." You confirm. That's how long it's been since the last time you've visited.

It means a lot to hear from him that he missed you. Makes you wonder if he's thought about you while you were gone. Surely it wasn't even remotely close to how much you've thought about him. Nor would the thoughts have been similar in nature. However, the notion that he might have thought of you at all made butterflies swirl in your stomach.

After a few more lines of exchange, Negan swiftly checks the time on his phone. "I need to get going, but we should definitely catch up more sometime."

"Sounds good to me." You respond coolly, even though you're squealing internally.

"And listen, if you need anything don't hesitate to reach out. I'm still across the street. Oh shit- that reminds me- are you going over to Rick's this weekend for Carl's birthday?"

Once again you give him a nod. "Yeah I'll be going over. In fact, I have Carl's gift right here." You quickly open the bag to show him the video games inside.

"He'll like those. I got him one of those foam dart guns. Little wussy looking, but that's what the kid wanted. I suggested a BB gun but Rick said no to that." He shakes his head at the recall.

That's Rick. You thought to yourself.

"Well it looks like I'll be seeing you there then. I really have to get going now. Tell your aunt I said hey."

"I will." You wave him off as he walks in his own direction and you in yours. Clutching your chest to try and calm the rapid beating of your heart.

That encounter was completely unexpected. He caught you off guard. Thankfully you'd took the extra time to make yourself look presentable today.

Somehow Negan still manages to make you feel this way when you're around him. Even after being away for so long. A year might not seem like a long time. But the way you see it, a lot of things can change over the course of a year. One thing's for certain, your feelings for Negan haven't changed. He still makes your head spin and your heart race. Seeing him again only amplified that. Guess the question on your mind now is- what are you going to do about it?