Martyn and Toby had gotten into a car crash on the way to an airport, they were about to go on holiday but not now. They had driven into a car with a drunk driver in it. The driver was drunk, and had just come out from a party – the driver was yet to be named. Martyn was okay, but Toby wasn’t. Toby is slowly breathing, and he can’t hear him talk. “Toby, I’m going to call the ambulance okay?” Martyn said, “Try and not to move as much, we don’t want you to hurt.” He also added in. He got up off the grass, they were on the side of the road – a lot of people had gotten out of their car to see if they were okay, it looked like the driver – who was the drunk driver was asleep in his car, expected he was probably knocked out – and yes he was. He ran over to the car again, which was probably a bad idea. But he didn’t have to call an ambulance, as one had just arrived looked like someone had called them. “Who here is Martyn Littlewood?!” The ambulance driver shouted, Martyn waved his hands and ran over to the man. “I’m here! But, I’m fine… it’s my boyfriend – Toby. He’s passed out, his breathing was slow I don’t want him to leave me, please save him!” Martyn said, and he dragged the ambulances man’s arm over to Toby – he knew it was wrong… but he just wanted to save Toby.

They were finally over to where Toby was, still lying down – trying to keep his eyes open and not talking what so ever. “Hello? Can I ask your name?” the man asked. Toby coughed a few times, before saying “T-Toby Cottrell.” He said breathing and panting hard. Martyn dropped down on his knees, holding Toby’s hand, “Toby its Martyn. I’m here for you.”  He said gripping his hand, tight but not too tight. The ambulance man spoke through his microphone saying “He won’t be able to stand, will have to bring carrier over.” Then a bunch of people brang the carrier over, and put  Toby on it.

I climbed into the ambulance as did Toby, I held his hand and another person started pumping blood into him, “Mr. Littlewood?” He asked. “Yes?” Martyn asked.” “You’ll be lucky if Mr. Cottrell survives any longer…” he said. I started tearing up, “Why…?” Martyn asked. “Because he’s not in good condition.” --

“Martyn?” Toby suddenly awoke, I looked down at him. “Y-yes, Toby?” Martyn replied with, what Martyn didn’t expect is for Toby to start singing… “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You never know, dear, how much I love you…” Toby couldn’t finish, he closed his eyes. “Martyn, I love you.” his last words before he closed his eyes. “TOBY NO! DOCTOR DO SOMETHING!” Martyn screamed. “The monitor has gone, I’m sorry…”

--

The funeral was hosted a few months later.

--

It was only the 31st of November it was a bit too early to get into the wonderful spirit of Christmas... Well that's what Toby thought anyway, mean whilst Martyn was busy singing Christmas songs and putting up the tree as well with stockings.

Normally Toby doesn't like winter Martyn due to the fact he turns blue - but Toby can't tell why he seems different this year yet Toby can't figure out why. He figured that he will sooner or later, maybe he decided to calm down for once in a lifetime. They had just finished recording the Christmas adventure and Lewis and Elliot went out to go and check something , apparently it had something to do with the advent calander or something... That's what Toby remembers anyway.

"Hey Toby!" Martyn shouted from across the room, Toby looked up - he was staring

Down at his fingers twiddling them around in some sort of motion - Toby liked to think of it as 'oh god, what if he's mean' or something along the lines. "Y-yeah?" Toby mumbled under his breath. Martyn just about heard that. "Come help me with the tree, I can't put the fairy on top!" Martyn said and smiled at the end, Toby gasped and then stood up off the couch, sloppily walking over to Martyn - slowly but steadily. "How can I help?" Toby asked.

"Maybe you could give me a piggyback?" Martyn asked grinning. Toby scoffed,

"What are you? Like 5 years old... Jesus." Toby replied, slightly pissed now.

"Okay chill, what is with you during these days... You seem so distant from me." Martyn says, blinking at Toby a few times.

'Not surprised, with me being scared of you in winter.' Toby thought in his head, and eh it was true.

"You gonna let me give you a piggyback or not then?" Martyn asked me.

"Wait... I thought I was giving you a piggyback? When did this swap around?" Toby asked. Martyn giggled. Toby sighed, he guessed he could live with at least some interaction from his best mate.

It took a few moments for Martyn to realise that Toby wasn't on his back still, "Hey why aren't you on yet?" Martyn asked.

"Uhm, you're to tall for me... Sorry." Toby mumbled in response.

"Stand on the couch and then jump on my back then." Martyn said and chuckled. Toby sighed once more, "Fine."

Toby went over to the couch and stood on it, trying not to fall over he doesn't have good balance but this was the least he could do - his only worry was that Martyn would drop him. Martyn walked over to the couch standing in front of Toby so Toby could climb on his back. Toby was finally on Martyn's back and it was comfy, Toby couldn't lie about that. Martyn gave Toby the fairy ornament and took him over to the tree, he noticed that he couldn't reach so that means he'd maybe have to stand up a bit or maybe Martyn would lift him up. He decided to shudder and then whimper.

Of course Martyn had heard this whimpering and decided to ask, "Hey Toby, what's wrong?" Martyn asked.

"I'm scared." Toby replied quietly.  Martyn chuckled a bit before replying with "how come?"

"I'm scared that you're going to drop me." Toby said mumbling.

"Toby Cottrell, we have been best mates for how long now? And you don't believe in me well enough?" Martyn asked, kinda annoyed.

"Its not that, its something else as well... Which I'd rather not talk about." Toby said, he decided that he would tell Martyn all of his emotions some time soon or later. He decided to at least do this, Martyn slowly took Toby off his shoulders (in which Toby looked like he was about to cry the entire time.) And placed him high enough so Toby could put the fairy on top.

Once Toby did that, Martyn gently brang Toby back down onto the floor, setting him down. "That wasn't so bad was it?" Martyn said, patting Toby's hair, it was a brown chestnut colour and messy and in its usual style as per, in Martyn's opinion it suits Toby. Not like Toby agreed with that, nope. Toby smiled lightly, as to say 'no, it wasn't."

Lewis and Elliot came back sooner or later which means the current interaction between the two went away.

The whole group had sat down at the table, today was Toby's time to cook - they all took turns of cooking per day and today was Toby's turn. Toby was pretty confident in his cooking skills so since it was near Christmas (still November 31st though.) He decided to cook some type of meat, he asked the whole group which they preferred and chicken won. Elliot and Lewis voted for chicken, and Martyn and Toby voted for beef. It was a tie, so they decided to do a rock paper scissors, to no avail chicken won. Toby didn't mind chicken and neither did Martyn, so he decided this would work out.

"Dinners ready!" Toby shouted. Martyn, Lewis and Elliot came rushing downstairs, sitting down at the table. Toby put the plate of chicken on the table, as well as gravy, potatoes and vegetables and fruit (such as carrots, peas and tomatoes and cucumber.) They all dug in straight away, Elliot and Lewis talked to each other. Martyn stared at Toby, due to him not saying a thing at all. Toby looked to his right, realising that Martyn was staring at him, "W-what?" Toby asked, slightly blushing.

"Nothing. You just seem quieter then usual, I think you're avoiding me. Want to talk about it?" Martyn asked, Toby shook his head and put one of his hands on his knees in some sort of fist clench. Martyn shook his head, from left to right. Then took his hand, and placed it on top of Toby’s underneath the table. Martyn smiled, he knew that he would have to get Toby to tell him what’s wrong sooner or later – so he would go to Toby’s room tonight. As that’s what best friends do, they care for their other best friend.

It was finally 8pm at night, Martyn and Lewis are upstairs. Elliot’s downstairs somewhere, and Toby sleeps in a closet – not literally though, there’s a big place at the back of the closet (which is kind of weird) which has like a bath, toilet, bed and other stuff. Hopefully, Martyn could get there without waking anyone up.

Martyn got out of bed, slipping into his slippers and walking down the stairs – holding onto the banister. He finally got down the stairs, heading towards the cupboard. He arrived within 2 minutes at least. He knocked on the cupboard door, he tried to open it – it wasn’t locked at least. ‘Maybe Toby’s asleep?’ he thought to himself, he hoped he wasn’t at least. He opened the door, climbed up the step and walked through the heap of clothes getting to the back of the closet. Toby, was there led on the bed – cuddling with some sort of teddy. Martyn tapped his shoulder, “Toby? Are you awake?” Martyn asked. Toby blinked, a few times. “AHH-“ Toby began to shout luckily Martyn put his hand over Toby’s mouth to stop him shouting – to make sure not to wake everyone up. “Ssh.” Martyn said. “Why’re you here, Martyn?” Toby asked. “I wanted to talk.” Martyn replied, sitting down on Toby’s bed. He sat up and also sat on the bed. “Okay… get talking then.” Toby said, sighing. Martyn guessed Toby was tired or something. “Yes, sir.” Martyn scoffed. Toby sighed once more and pulled the famous ‘not amused’ face. “Okay, okay.” Martyn started, “Well, we all know that when in winter and I turn blue and stuff. You start to avoid me, so I want answers… why? I mean earlier today you weren’t talking to me and were just quiet, I mean you’re normally cheerful at Christmas.” Martyn said. “Well, I’ll guess I’ll tell you. Basically, winter just kinds of scares me due to the fact that you turn cold and mostly cold for me becomes evil and terrifying, so I become depressed. In winter, I just want our summer friendship back.” Toby mumbled. Martyn leaned forward, grabbing Toby’s shoulders and bringing his body to Martyn’s chest, wrapping his arms around Toby’s back, “Toby. I know I may seem evil, but really I don’t mean it. I have to agree, I miss our summer/spring/autumn friendship as well. But, look at this.” Martyn said, tapping Toby’s heart and his heart, “You see? This is where our friendships… will always be. When it’s January, I’ll be summer Martyn. Okay, Toby?” Martyn said, smiling. Toby was crying, it was official – Toby was crying.

“Mm, thank you… Martyn. I love you.” Toby said, not realizing what he just said – lying back down in his bed. ‘Heh, I love you… eh? Well I guess it can’t hurt for one night, I’m sure Lewis and Elliot won’t come looking for me.’ I opened up Toby’s duvet, and climbed in next to Toby, taking the teddy out of Toby’s head and chucking it on the floor. Toby noticed sooner or later, but Martyn’s eyes were shut and he was fast asleep – facing Toby. Toby blushed, and then smiled. Martyn’s arm was wrapped around Toby and Toby wrapped his arms around Martyn. “I love you, too… Toby.” Martyn sleep talked. 

                   ~Bleed to know you’re alive not dead~

--