#intermission.2

YOuR NAME IS SECRET. BuT PEOPLE WHO AREN'T DuMB BITCHES KNOW TO CALL YOu uMBRAGE. BECAuSE OF THE SECRET POWER OF DuMB BITCHES' NAMES. YOu ARE A RuLES FOLLOWING. BADASS PuZZLEMuRDERER. AND YOu HAVE A KICKASS BLOG. THAT STARTED ONE YEAR AGO. BuT FOR ALL INTENTS AND PuRPOSES. FOR THE RECAPPING OF THIS BLOG. WE WILL PRETEND IT STARTED TODAY. WHAT WILL YOu DO? THE ANSWER IS ANYTHING YOu FuCKING WANT. BECAuSE YOu ARE AWESOME. (NOT YOu. THE YOu WHO IS PRETENDING TO BE uMBRAGE. WHICH IS TO SAY. THE YOu WHO IS PRETENDING TO BE ME.) BuT WHAT YOu DO IS ANSWER QuESTIONS ON YOuR KICKASS BLOG. GAINING FOLLOWERS AND WAITING FOR SHIT TO GET REAL. EQuALS EQuALS ARROW ENTER.

HOLY SHIT! SHIT HAS GOTTEN REAL. YOu HAVE JuST BITTEN OFF YOuR LEG AND BECOME A GROWN uP. BY KILLING YOuR SISTER.  (THE SHITTY TWIST IS THAT YOuR SISTER IS ALIVE AND THEN YOU LOSE AN ARM WHEN SHE BLOWS A CuE BALL IN YOuR FACE. BuT THAT SHITTY TWIST IS MOSTLY uNIMPORTANT. SO DON'T WORRY ABOuT IT. YOu ARE STILL AWESOME. AND WILL ONE DAY BE AN EVEN MANLIER MAN.) (( PLuS YOu GET A SWEET ROBOT ARM OuT OF THE DEAL)). BuT IN BECOMING A MAN. uNBEKNOWNST TO YOu YOU HAVE ENTERED A DOOMED TIMELINE! YOu ARE SLATED TO BE DEAD NOW! ((( BuT THE SECOND. LESS SHITTY TWIST. IS THAT YOu ARE ACTuALLY NOT DOOMED. AND JuST PENNED OFF FOR GREATER THINGS. YOuR DuMB SISTER DOESN'T KNOW THIS. AND PROCEEDS TO MOPE LIKE A BITCH FOR MANY UPDATES. YOu WILL SET HER STRAIGHT THOuGH.))) (((( THEN KILL HER)))) EQuALS EQuALS ARROW ENTER.

THEN SOME BORING SHIT HAPPENS. WHERE YOu ANSWER MORE QuESTIONS. AND PLOT TO KILL YOuR SISTER. AND ABSOLuTELY ARE NOT ALTERED IN ANY WAY BY ANON MAGIC. YOu ARE ALSO NOT IN ANY WAY ENGAGED IN A PALE. FEELINGS-FILLED FLING WITH AN ALTERNATE OF YOuR SISTER. WHO IS NOT THAT BAD. AND MAKES YOu FEEL OKAY ON THE WHOLE.

EQuALS EQuALS ARROW ENTER.

THEN A YuLE BALL HAPPENS YOu GuESS?? YOu DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. OR IF IT IS CANON. OR WHY YOu WAKE uP IN A BALL ROOM IN A DRESS. TALKING TO A DuMB SHITTY CAT TROLL WHO YOu HATE.

THIS IS STuPID. EQUALS EQUALS ARROW ENTER.

THEN THERE IS THAT TIME. THAT YOu THREATEN THE HuMAN CHRISTMAS SATAN. YOu PLAN TO KILL HIM AND TAKE OVER THE HuMAN HOLIDAY AND MAYBE EAT A FEW HuMAN CHILDREN. IT IS BADASS AND YOu REGRET NOT BEING ABLE TO DO IT. YOu JuST WAKE uP AFTER THE HuMAN CHRISTMAS WITH A BEATING. YOu GuESS YOu LOST.

EQuALS EQuALS ARROW ENTER.

BuT THEN IT TuRNS OuT THAT THE SHITTY RETCONNED TWIST. WAS THAT THE SATAN YOu FOuGHT WAS ACTuALLY A BLIND TROLL THE WHOLE TIME! IT IS AN uNDERWHELMING FIGHT. AND NOT ONE THAT INSPIRED YOu TO RuIN THE LIVES OF EVERY BLIND TROLL EVER. EVEN THE NOT BLIND ONES FROM OTHER uNIVERSES. NOT AT ALL.

YOu BARELY EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED.

THIS IS A MYSTERY THAT DID NOT NEED TO GET SOLVED. OR BE FILLED. BuT WHAT THE FuCK EVER YOu GuESS. THIS IS A TERRIBLE TWIST OF A SLOPPY WRITER. YOu THINK OF HOW TERRIBLE THIS WAS. AND THEN BANISH IT FROM YOuR MEMORY. BLIND TROLLS FuCKING SuCK.

EQuALS EQuALS ARROW ENTER.

THEN THINGS STARTED REALLY HAPPENING. AND YOu ENDED uP IN THE GAME YOuR SISTER LOVES. AND EVEN THOuGH SHE STOLE YOuR PARTNER IN CRIME/BEST SKuLL TO MAKE A SHITTY SPRITE WITH A SHITTY ROSE HuMAN. YOu HAVE YOuR OWN WELLSPRING OF ADVICE. IT IS A SHITTY CLOWN YOu SHOOT A LOT. YOu LIKE SHOOTING HIM A LOT.

EQuALS EQuALS ARROW ENTER.

THE LAST THING YOu DID BEFORE HIJACKING YOuR INTERMISSION BACK IS GETTING JACK NOIR. WHO IS A BRO. TO KILL YOuR SISTER. AGAIN. (BuT THIS TIME WITH YOuR MAGIC SOuL PuPPET) uNFORTuNATELY. INSTEAD OF GOING TO PROSPIT. HE WENT TO YOuR/HER LAND. AND NEARLY GOT YOu KILLED. YOu GuESS IT IS FORTuNATE HE FAILED. SINCE YOu ARE NOT DEAD. BuT NOW YOu HAVE TO FIGuRE OuT HOW TO KILL HER. WITHOuT KILLING YOuRSELF. MAYBE AFTER THE INTERMISSION. AND WHEN I FINALLY CONTROL EVERYTHING. THEN SHE DIES. OH YES. AND IT WILL BE PERFECT.