#insidefantasy

they were fighting about something. josie didn't really remember how it had escalated. one moment they were texting early in the morning and the next she was banging at pj's bedroom window, looking exasperated, waving her arms up in the air. she mouths something, but she knows for a fact that the other woman can't understand her. but she's desperate, knowing deep down that maybe it was a little bit too far to make a joke about isabel being her new best friend. but in josie's mind, it was warranted when pj had been the one making comments about her love life.

she's always trying to divert attention away from herself. from her own issues. it's funny that she's doing it now, especially when she knows that she's the one who needs to be looked after. that's why she was at shauna's house again after all, she was lucky enough that both callie and jeff were gone for the night. it was weird to once again feel that fear of falling asleep. she almost doesn't even want to, talking with her friend almost as if they were still kids at a sleepover would suffice. "you don't have to watch me like a hawk, you know .." she pauses, a small feeling of guilt that even with shauna's own issues, she was willing to help taissa like this. she knows that the brunette was awake the whole time, she could feel her eyes on her. but she knew better than to bring that up, not now anyways.

he had long forfeited his right to get a say in anything cathy did, or rather, in anyone cathy did. and still, despite all of it - them fighting, him betraying her more times he could count, him leaving her high and dry - he still cares. his back still stiffens up at the thought of it, her laughing in richard's bed, talking about oklahoma or whatever fucking show she was in this week that he wouldn't see. it wasn't jealousy per say - more like he didn't want anyone to win at the expense of his own losses.

he'd been the one to leave, he was the one shacked up with elise in a cozy apartment. and god, did he hate it there - each day measuring his successes against hers and finding for once, he'd been beat. he craved that feeling of superiority, and found he had none of it with her. only that same, empty feeling he'd had since that first book came out. ❝ were you fucking him when you were in ohio, when we were married ? ❞ he accuses, so hypocritical it hurts even him.

she's sure it does show in her face, but the words that amy had thrown at her punched her in the gut. they had been fighting, like they normally did. maybe jo had even said something mean and cruel as she never really did grow out of her temper. but being confronted with her actions was different.

jo avoids amy's gaze, wanting to be defensive. amy was always held to a different standard, but that was just because jo wanted the best for her and she didn't always understand her motivations. even as adults, she still held the belief that her sister just didn't always get jo. did anyone actually?