#insecure links

Hi darling, thank you for coming to me for advice- I’ll do my best to help you out. :)

I understand where you’re coming from about having fears that your boyfriend leaving, I have those fears as well. But you know what? I’m almost 100% sure that your boyfriend loves you and cares about you. I’ve been in your shoes also about being very, very insecure. I’m insecure Andrew finding someone else but you know what keeps me going? Knowing that my boyfriend loves me and he would tell me if he wasn’t happy with me.

With that being said, since you’ve already told your boyfriend about how you feel, I think the next step in this situation is to give your boyfriend some examples of how you’re feeling. Such as the following:

Write down a list of things that make you feel insecure & show your boyfriend.

Keep a journal about times when you’re feeling insecure and show your boyfriend.

Those two things have actually helped me when I was feeling insecure.

Something else to keep in mind is that when you’re feeling insecure, allow your boyfriend to understand how you’re feeling. Showing him how you feel really helps. Sometimes, guys don’t see things that are happening with their loved ones. But that can really go for anyone.

It sounds like to me that yo’re worrying a lot about how your boyfriend feels, did you know that worrying is a symptom of anxiety?

Why you keep worrying

You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you—you can’t sleep, and you can’t get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:

Maybe I’ll find a solution.

I don’t want to overlook anything.

If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I’ll figure it out.

I don’t want to be surprised.

I want to be responsible.

You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.

Learning to postpone worrying:

Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.

Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.

Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?

What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?

Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?

Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Okay, I now have some advice for you on how you can cope with how you’re feeling. For example you could....

Speak to someone you trust abut how you are feeling.

Journal about your feelings and emotions

Check into some local support groups in your area

Do some research on how one can stop feeling insecure.

Listen to calming music.

Do things that calm you down and distract your mind.

Those things are helpful because its not only giving you coping skills, but its giving you some things that can help distract your mind.

Helpful Links:

Overcoming insecurity:

7 ways to let go of insecurity:

When you’re feeling insecure:

Google search on (more) links on insecurity in relationships: