The Lugan Epididymus: a Love story: Chapter π: Garrunteed to blow your mind
In loving memory...
Vlad Tepig 3088-1200
"these pistashios taste delicious."
So after a tip from a shopkeeper, we decided to stop in candyland to harness the power of Selsun Blue, an ancient and powerful ability to make someone urinate chamomile tea and have uncontrollable urges to fornicate with hippopotumi. Inge and I would use this power on chad to make vending machine think he was cheating on her. we asked around in candyland as whom would know the ability of selsun blue. i went to inge to ask if she has had luck only to find her face in a bowl of lingon berry jam. before i could even utter a sound she told me that that was her business and called me a little shit. yet again, senpai is a saucy. A man in a hood approached us and said:
"So you want the zibba wobbable power of the selsun blue?"
Saucy senpai retorts with "why would you want to know you little shit?"
The man says "zibbity that girl is saucy. wibbobity lobbitle sobittle"
"What?" I was confused at the man's erratic use of unfunny unneeded sylabbyles like he was an old african american man desparate for laughs.
"dibblety doo zibblewayobbity snoosnoo wingdogitty liberty prime wiberty quibery" the man's language became erratic and an purple aura emenated from him. the air tasted like purple drAAAAAnk.
"you'll zippopity regret the bow zippidy lust for the power of selsun blue!"
he pulled of his cloak/ hood and revealed his true identity.
"Bill Cosby" senpai uttered."we should've known!"
Bill cosby started,
"Chad had the zingo intellect to bizobbly hire me to stibbity stop you from obbity-taining the power of selsun blue. you cannot control it pribbity propperly as you-itty can not be tribbity trusted."
"we have the true ability to be using in the power of SELSUNBLUE in the being used against true evil underlingness." i exclaired.
battle was meant. i charged up my abilty that i obtained in the episode that was censored in America. I charged my Nad-Kicking ability and my stabbing ability and i becime real super sand.
"You am no super sand" The Cosby said
I realized that the super sand that i had collected was fake for it was made in chine. but super sand am not something held. it are something feeled.
"I shall show you the power of Selsun blue!" The cosby emitted
this was the word to be used in somoning the power.
"SPAALOW BABUGUUSCOOTIES!" tHE COSBY EXPELLED.
his hands glow-ed yellow and he shot a beam. luckily i was avoided it. but inge was not lucky.
"NOOOOOOO" i was heatboken. then Inge started dry humping me. I forgot my surrogate mother was part hippo. our affection was safe.
"it was backfire-ed" i shot at the cosby
"Damn-itty you Khan bloobity" the cosby was cursing my surrogate mother's name.
I Ran at the cosby and used my nad kicking ability and stabbed him in the forehead. he lay limp on the ground. "100 exp" flashed in front of my face and i leveled up once more. inge kissed me and i emitted a white fluid from my dipstick again.
"we has the power to ruin Chad!"
then the cosby's corpse glowed and started transforming.he was in the air for a bit, floated back to the ground and grabbed his cloak and sheltered himslef.
the first thing heard was "-Izzle"
"it Cannot be!" Inge- chan exasperated.
"it is mezzle, Snoop Dizzle" the former cosby said.
"SNOOP DOG!" i was shocked.
"i has the power of izzle. anything i say with -izzle in it happens!"
"no" inge chan and i say in unison
"newspaper ignizzle!"
we were fighting on top of newspapers the entire time, so pain was i our future. then we got off of being on top of them. the snoop dog was still on top of them and burnt to death. his last words were "live-izzle" but it didnt work.
Dear mother, today was a sugoi day. we defeated snoop dog/cosby got the power of selsun blue and arte one step closer to beating chad desu~
Love, Orangesaft Columbine
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Author's note
I had some help with this new epic in the story. my friend, Red chicken helped me write this chapter and i am greatful for his contribution.
Happy reading!
The demickyfellow
