How to Take Care of Your Pet Brain
1. Put it in a skull
2. Let it float in something -- preferably cerebrospinal fluid
3. Give it a spinal cord so it can play games
4. Ask it questions to keep it from turning to Jello
5. Brush it with a toothbrush at least once a day. If you cannot reach that far, brushing your teeth will do just as well.
6. Show it crazy shit. That will make it much more docile and easy to handle.
7. Give it a good bedtime. If it is acting up, it is too tired. Just turn on a movie or some music, or make it nap while you clean your room, take a walk, wiggle your butt to energetic music, do grocery shopping, waiting for a Dr appointment, etc. Good brains are not overused. Switch them off constantly.
8. Have fun! Smile, laugh, and punch each other good-naturedly. Brains are always antagonistic towards their owners until they find other outlets -- usually other forms of sadism. The only way to train the aggression instinct is to set it on problems in the way of happiness.
9. Let it rip its teeth into everything and anything as long as it's not your favorite hat.
