#infpxinfp

Certainty of my type: 100% sure, I’ve taken the test countless times and checked it on the chart myself.

Certainty of their type: Very sure, she’s also taken the test a few times and I’ve tested her too.

My last girlfriend and I were both INFP’s. When we initially started dating, the coincidence of having matching personalities was INCREDIBLE and really added several levels of comfort and mutual understanding to our relationships (because naturally, INFP’s feel like we’re different and mysterious and that NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND US!!!! so this was a nice change). We both empathised with our strong Fi functions and understood how we made ourselves very private, which in turn made confiding in each other a lot easier. We also had a strong need to have meaningful, stimulating conversations, so we mostly talked about our feelings. It was a nice change to the otherwise inconsequential discussions we had with other people. I think we had a really meaningful relationship and we complimented each other in a way that I couldn’t find with anyone else because she GOT me. She always knew what I was feeling and we never passed negative judgement on anything and she always tried to be constructive and kind. 

Our matching personalities ended up fucking things up a lot. INFP’s hate conflict, and therefore we would never confront each other about things that upset us (and when eventually we did have confrontations, they were emotionally fuelled to the MAX and there was like, no rationality to them). Our meaningful conversations became self indulgent and boring. Her shyness, which I initially thought was cute, started to come across as weird and awkward and uncomfortable. She was a VERY unhealthy INFP; it was almost like being in a relationship with my 14 year old self because her low self esteem was so crippling, I started to see parts of her personality that reminded me of the shitty, weird parts of myself that I didn’t want to associate with. I was sick of her disorganisation and frivolous, irrational decision making and her inability to manage her extremely intense emotions in a healthy way. It occurred to me that after not seeing her for the two months that she was overseas, that I’d done the usual, shitty INFP thing and idealised the fuck out of her, and then I was (SHOCKINGLY) disappointed to find that she was a human being with very real, confronting flaws.