#infp9w8rant

When I get angry, I start irrationally hating on other people for their good fortunes or ignorance of my feelings or something.  I try my best not to act on it, but I do feel it and think it.

When people are being complimented and I’m not.  It feels like if no one compliments me on this certain trait (i.e. you’re so creative, you’re so ambitious, etc.), then I don’t have that trait.  If someone does tell me I have that trait, then I believe that I do.  I think that’s why I’ve been relying on personality tests so much.  I just can’t say to myself “oh, I have this trait,” because I start thinking like how do I know that I have this trait? If i do have this trait, shouldn’t this trait be visible to others then?”

When being in a group, I feel like my 9 is making me constantly repress my feelings, cause it feels like no one will care about how I feel, or will just ignore it or have nothing to say or it’ll disrupt the flow of the conversation.  It just feels so unnecessary to tell them how I feel, like what can they do?  So, I end up holding it in until the conversation is over, and then I crawl back into my room and become anti-social for up to a week.  However, I feel guilty about being anti-social and unproductive, so I go and push myself to work on the project or go outside or whatever and just numb my feelings.