#infacuation

I always just accepted the fact of you being on my mind. I simply became used to it. But what I never stopped wondering about, is wether it will ever go away.

They told me to get over it, to give it time, to make myself happy and to find someone new. I tried to explain to them, that this is not how it works for me. That this is not some basic teenage heartbreak or another first love that came to an end.

When I talked about you, people saw it in my eyes. It has always been the same. Some understood, some did not. But all of them came to one conclusion in the end; ›Well, I guess that's love.‹

Those conversations left me just with the same information I had before, but also with the recurring question if it will ever stop. Will I ever stop wondering whether you are okay today, what clothes you wear and who you maybe hang out with right now? Will I ever stop thinking about the smile you give me when you just enjoy my company? The look on your face when you get a little too excited about some random stuff? The little lisp you do when you are angry? The way your eyes exactly tell me what you feel and think? Will I ever stop thinking about those things?

I don't know. But do I have to stop? How do I? You are the only thing that ever made me questioning my sanity. Questioning if I am sick or something, if everything is okay with my mind. But I honestly came to the conclusion to leave it just like that. To patiently wait for it to fade out, just like the pain did.