Crowley and Sirius try to have sex bc they so think the other is sexy, but then they get distracted by talking about bridge construction in 12ad across the world or smth that they never get to it. 14h in and they have loads of blue prints, and a bunch of new ideas, while they indulge on red whine, and are both still getting hornier by how brilliant the other is
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
ineffable wolfstar divorce but wolfstar was never a couple (no feelings confessed, convinced each other were straight, lol, etc.) … go!
Ooooooh this is so INTERESTING.
I'll admit, a fic I've always wanted to read is Sirius thinking he's straight when he's in his late teens/early 20s, and he doesn't get a chance to figure his sexuality out before Azkaban. So during OOTP, when he's stuck in a house with Remus, he has LOTS of confusing feelings that lead to a sexuality crisis. Maybe Remus does too! Idk, maybe it's because I'm over 25, but I just love the idea of these two men not figuring out their sexuality (or that they're in love) until their 30s or later.
I digress.
So I'm thinking it could happen like this: Sirius and Remus have a HUGE falling out as friends (so basically a divorce) and stop talking to each other. Then they get out there and start dating, because fuck it, they deserve to get laid! And also fall in love! And they just so happen to choose partners who are eerily similar (on the surface) to each other. It's especially obvious when Remus starts dating Crowley. Sirius is like "wtf???? you're dating knockoff me??? when you could have been dating ME?"
I still think lots of shenanigans, tears, and hatefucking would happen before all four of them figure their shit out.
Still fleshing this out, but here's a taste of what's to come in my Ineffible Wolfstar crossover fix, and the introduction of possibly my favorite new character ever ❤️
He wouldn't admit it, but Remus's absence sat like a, well, Remus sized hole in his life. He often found himself laughing at something that had happened on the TV and turning to tell him, only to remember that he wasn't here.
He would bustle in and want to recant a story about something Moody and Fabian Prewett had bickered over at work, and realize the only person to share his story with was the literal pot plant that took up residence in their closet.
It had reached the point where, after two weeks, he had called James and Harry to accompany him to the local Muggle animal shelter to adopt a pet to keep him company.
Regulus had not been amused when Sirius pulled up to drop his honorary brother and his nephew with a Corgi wearing sunglasses in the front seat that was named Sir Charles Bowie Stanton of Soho.
Sirius had not been amused when Bowie lost his mind the first time he transformed into Padfoot and peed on his favorite rug.
Read chapter one here❤️
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Let’s pretend James is alive! How is he reacting to all the ineffible wolfstar divorce drama?!
OH THIS IS SUCH A GALAXY-BRAIN QUESTION
Well, first of all, Sirius and Remus get divorced for the absolute dumbest reason imaginable. Like Sirius bought Remus the wrong kind of tea one too many times and now it's over. At first James is like, haha, okay, you two will be back together in twenty-four hours, I know how this goes. BUT THEN THEY STAY DIVORCED. AND EVEN WORSE, THEY START DATING OTHER PEOPLE. This has never happened before and now James is panicking. He's also missing his soulmate, his love, the other half of him, because divorced!Sirius is the worst. All he talks about is this shitty new boyfriend of his and how much he's driving Sirius up the wall, and he doesn't do fun things with James anymore. He also doesn't want to hear about Remus (except he does), so James can't talk about meeting Remus for lunch, and he also can't talk to Remus about meeting Sirius for drinks. He can't have them over to his house at the same time. It's a disaster. James is suffering and sad. Sometimes he curls up in bed with a picture of the three of them from sixth year and cries while petting it tenderly.
We're all on that Ineffable Wolfstar hatefuck train. Love it.
In the scenario that the two "couples" cross paths to try to make their exes jealous, what does that jealousy look like?
[I'd love to see the clash of the saviour complex and the martyr complex.]
Hmmmm I think @lynxindisguise will be better at answering this, but I will take a crack at it:
Remus: talks about how bendy Crowley is in bed (the man literally has no joints okay)
Crowley: tells Aziraphale about all the sinfully delicious restaurants he's been taking Remus to
Sirius: tells the story of how Aziraphale banished two businessmen to the Sahara for trying to buy his shop and then Sirius blew him behind the counter (being feral is a turn-on for him, okay, his ex tried to kill a man in front of 3 thirteen-year-olds)
Aziraphale: talks about the late-night motorbike rides Sirius takes him on and how things can get a bit heated during them (it's Remus's job to give Sirius a handy while he's trying to fly his motorbike, okay, no one else is allowed).
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
crowley and remus birth a cerberus-esque monster—go!
I think we're going to need @strugglequill 's monster art skills for this one.....
I can't decide if Crowley knocks Remus up, or if this monsterbaby hatches from one of Crowley's eggs that Remus happened to fertilize....either way, no one is more surprised than the two of them!
Anthony "secretly good with kids" Crowley tries to be all menacing about it, but he's just. so soft. and he loves his monsterbaby so much. He cuddles them and sings them terrifying lullabies and threatens to bite the head off of anyone who looks at them funny.
Remus is fond of monsters and magical creatures, but he's also allergic to responsibility, so he immediately runs away....
....Right to Sirius's doorstep, and once Sirius gets the whole story out of him, he's furious with Remus for running away and abandoning his kid (and later on, he cries a lot into his pillow because Remus had a baby and it wasn't with him).
Aziraphale is just upset because when he and Crowley get back together, Crowley has his monsterchild half the time, and rare books and cerberus monster babies do not mix.
Unbeknownst to each other, Lynx and I were writing sad damp Crowmus at the same time tonight. So, this is dedicated to the darling @lynxindisguise (and I added a line in a nod to your little ficlet lol)
---
“I’m sorry,” Remus chokes out, wiping his eyes.
“‘s fine.” Crowley hands him another tissue. “My fault, really. Should’ve known better.”
“You should have known that whispering, ‘How’s that feel, Princess?’ when you’re balls-deep inside me would make me burst into tears?”
“Well, I can read minds, you know,” Crowley says. “Demon and all.”
Remus gives him a look, and Crowley hastily adds, “Not that I have. Or would. To you, I mean. But I could have, and then we could’ve avoided the whole, you know. Tears and snot thing.”
A fresh wave of misery washes over Remus, and more tears stream down his cheeks. He must look a sight, face red and puffy from crying, sitting naked in Crowley’s bed with his dick at half mast.
“We have got to find a safe pet name.” Crowley scoots closer and takes Remus into his arms. “I can’t say--you know, the A word, without turning into a puddle, and the P word makes you get all weepy.”
Crowley had also tried darling on him once after a full moon, and that was similarly disastrous.
“Sweetheart?” Remus tries.
“Sweetheart,” Crowley says softly, and something flutters behind Remus’s breastbone. He doesn’t burst into tears again; neither does Crowley. “Yeah, I think that works. Sweetheart.”
Remus sighs, sinking further into Crowley’s embrace. “I really miss him.”
“Yeah,” Crowley says, and Remus knows he’s thinking of his Angel. “So do I.”
aziraphale buys sirius some ridiculous fancy cake from some stupid posh bakery, and remus is horrified because he always bakes sirius a sad wonky cake layered with all his favourite flavours because that’s what he likes!! and he’s trying to explain this to crowley, who is just glaring furiously at everyone because, overlooking the fact that demons don’t have birthdays, aziraphale never bought HIM a fancy cake.
🤣🤣🤣 And if he ever voices that thought to Aziraphale, Aziraphale will be like "but you don't eat??? ever???" and Crowley is like "my treat is watching YOU eat the fancy cake that you bought for me, you idiot."
But oh my god what a trainwreck of a birthday party this would be! This is absolutely what would happen. I also like @polaroidcats 's idea of James being there as well and he's just sitting there like "um what the FUCK."
Also I'm crying over Sirius getting baked a sad wonky cake and he loves it and it's his favorite thing 😭
