#crowmus

ahhh sorry imp I forgot to respond to this!

I'd say there's no way this would be sustainable for six months, but we are talking about four of the most stubborn people alive so...

I think crowley and remus have reached a point of quiet acceptance, in which they both know this is really more of a friendship than anything else, and they spend most of their time getting stoned and waxing poetic about their exes and occasionally having extremely damp noodly sex. they're both very mopey and insufferable to be around, so they're really the only people who can currently stand one another.

OH THIS IS SUCH A GALAXY-BRAIN QUESTION

Well, first of all, Sirius and Remus get divorced for the absolute dumbest reason imaginable. Like Sirius bought Remus the wrong kind of tea one too many times and now it's over. At first James is like, haha, okay, you two will be back together in twenty-four hours, I know how this goes. BUT THEN THEY STAY DIVORCED. AND EVEN WORSE, THEY START DATING OTHER PEOPLE. This has never happened before and now James is panicking. He's also missing his soulmate, his love, the other half of him, because divorced!Sirius is the worst. All he talks about is this shitty new boyfriend of his and how much he's driving Sirius up the wall, and he doesn't do fun things with James anymore. He also doesn't want to hear about Remus (except he does), so James can't talk about meeting Remus for lunch, and he also can't talk to Remus about meeting Sirius for drinks. He can't have them over to his house at the same time. It's a disaster. James is suffering and sad. Sometimes he curls up in bed with a picture of the three of them from sixth year and cries while petting it tenderly.

---

“I’m sorry,” Remus chokes out, wiping his eyes.

“‘s fine.” Crowley hands him another tissue. “My fault, really. Should’ve known better.”

OH that makes more sense 😂

So, Sirius/Aziraphale have the meet-cute (even though they end up hating each other later) while Remus/Crowley have the meet-ugly (even though they stay friends).

Sirius actually goes to the bookshop because he's looking for a present for Harry, and he hears about this bookseller who has rare magical tomes in his collection, and Sirius thinks that some books on ancient magic might be perfect for his soon-to-be-professor godson (we don't believe in Auror Harry in this household). Aziraphale doesn't chase him out of the shop, they strike up a conversation, and hey, maybe they can use each other to get over their heartbreak! (Idk why Aziraphale is back from Heaven - maybe he turned his back on the Supreme Archangel gig but it was too little, too late, and they still divorced).

Crowley paces, testing out the edge of the bed—no, better not—and the arm of the chair—not as comfortable as it looked—and the floor—the floor?

"Anthony?"

He jolts up and fumbles with the folding of his arms as Remus assesses the new and frantically bandaged gashes on his chest.

"I'm sorry," Crowley mumbles. "You're... er... the wolf is terrified of snakes. He started cowering and scratching and... I didn't know how to stop it."

"Ah." Remus smiles through a wince. "Well, thank you for trying."

He nods. "Right... I'll just..." Gesturing vaguely, he spins himself towards the door.

"Could..." Remus coughs, "you could... stay?"

"Oh. Well I... I have to..." He feels very wobbly all of a sudden. Poor Remus looks awful, his skin taking on a greenish tinge he hadn't thought possible for humans. "Of course, ang—darling."

The name Crowley was going to say crumples up into a wad in his throat, while the one did say makes Remus's entire face crumple.

"No." He jabs a finger at him. "No, don't do that. Because if you start, then I... fuck."

With a tinge of violence, he throws off his jacket and kicks off his shoes before climbing in beside Remus and pulling the quivering man into his arms. Shattering at his touch, Remus curls into him and sobs into his neck.

Tensed from his own battle against tears, Crowley pats his back. "I... I'm sorry I'm not him," he whispers.

"'M sorry I'm not your Angel," Remus sniffles back.

A terribly pathetic whimper that most certainly could not have come from him is unleashed, and he clings to this scruffy, bony ascetic—as ill a fit for an Aziraphale-shaped hole as the shapeless cut of his clothes.

Why not both? Aziraphale is a clever, bitchy angel. He can get back at Crowley AND irritate Sirius at the same time.

I think he would take Sirius on dates to all the spots that are meaningful to him and Crowley. The Ritz is the obvious one: that's their spot, and Aziraphale dares to bring his new boytoy there???? Crowley is FURIOUS. Meanwhile Sirius is Suffering because he does NOT belong in such a posh place (or he does, but that's what makes it such a miserable experience for him).

Oysters! They go have oysters at one point, to recreate one of their first dates. Crowley cries when he learns about it. Sirius has an allergic reaction.