(Believe me, I know exactly how complex it actually was, this is just for a quick laugh. Breathe.)
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(Believe me, I know exactly how complex it actually was, this is just for a quick laugh. Breathe.)

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I found this lady claiming ancient Jews and early Christians believed in reincarnation, but the Catholic Church covered this up because they wanted to "sell people tickets to Heaven" (indulgences).
This is one of those claims that might seem plausible if you don't really know much about history and you're just going on vibes. But if you do know anything about history, you will immediately notice problems.
Of course it's possible that some early Christians believed in reincarnation. The idea of reincarnation is found in the Corpus Hermeticum, so this is an idea that was floating around in places early Christians lived in. But as for Jesus and his original followers believing in reincarnation? Highly unlikely. These people were Jews, and Jews didn't really believe in an eternal soul that is separate from the body - that's more of a Greek idea. You gotta understand that the idea of an eternal soul kinda got slapped on over the original belief in restoration and resurrection of bodies, and to this day it still fits pretty awkwardly over the original framework.
As for Catholics coming down against reincarnation because it didn't fit a business model, this misunderstands the history and nature of indulgences.
First, indulgences aren't supposed to save anyone from eternal punishment. They're supposed to remit temporal punishments, which might be experienced in this life or in purgatory. This lady's claim that the indulgences are about "selling tickets to Heaven" is completely baseless.
Secondly, indulgences weren't really supposed to be about selling forgiveness. They were granted for doing a number of penitential acts, including charity. Of course you can see where this is ripe for corruption - and it did indeed become pretty corrupt by the late Middle Ages - but you can also see where it's rooted in Christian ideas of charity.
Also, remember Six Ways to Debunk Any Conspiracy Theory? This lady's claim is knocked out by the method-goal mismatch check. If the Catholic Church was really just out to run a for-profit business, they'd have hardly needed to eliminate the idea of reincarnation to do it. It would be just as easy to tell people that they could get a better life in the future by paying them money now.
I suppose a banquet is a good place to indulge… I shall now drink as intended !
Most people aren't ready to hear this but those "carbon neutral we plant a tree for every x amount of gas you burn etc" schemes are just indulgences for the climate.
[T]he faithful will be able to obtain the Jubilee Indulgence if they visit, for an appropriate amount of time, their brothers and sisters who are in need or in difficulty (the sick, prisoners, lonely elderly people, disabled people…), in a sense making a pilgrimage to Christ present in them (cf. Mt 25, 34-36) according to the usual spiritual, sacramental and prayer conditions. The faithful can repeat these visits throughout the Holy Year, even daily, acquiring a plenary indulgence each time.
Pope Francis (Decree on the Granting of Indulgences during the Ordinary Jubilee Year 2025)

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If i was pope i would bring back indulgences but with randomization and loot box mechanics so that you have to roll for it.
Been getting ads for a new "Pay-to-Pray" Catholic app that uses celebrities like Chris Pratt to advertise their subscription based prayer and Catholic meditation services. That's right. Indulgences are back baby.
THE #1 PRAYER APP FOR LENT will never not be funny to me.