#indoorpeach

disclaimer: we aren’t experts on horoscopes!! this was made for fun. forgive us if we offend you or get something wrong. :d

aries: “got cash, cash, money and the views and the clicks”

taurus: “you're actually the dog filter on snapchat”

gemini: “that's bad, but then i heard you try to rap. i was more disappointed than when I found out Casey Neistat didn't have nice tats”

cancer: “jesus christ, you're as predictable as a house tour”

leo: “you make me so wet with your reckless spending”

virgo: “to call you surface level would be an insult to the ground floor”

libra: “'cause you're as basic as a one-block Rubik's Cube”

scorpio: “please, take me to your mansion and fuck me!”

sagittarius: “you're an insecure, unoriginal little bitch and that's that”

capricorn: “i wanna be gay 'cause you're fucked and i wanna savour it

aquarius: “did it feel good, though?”

we made this because we were bored. we aren’t experts about the signs and wrote this for fun. we hope we didn’t offend any of you guys. thank

aries: super athletic and really attractive and popular ??? also hella intimidating and has had a nice glo UP b4 in their life. prob could kill someone 

taurus: rEALLY TSUNDERE. they look amazing in neutral/earthy colors?? would fight someone for you and always up 4 snaccs. DESERVES BETTER THAN ANY1. will jump someone who has ever done anything bad 2 u

gemini: nerdy as heck. bipolar. rly enjoy socializing,,, also popular. a big ass weeb and broadway fanatic. very envious of others

cancer: stubborn and annoying. tsundere. introverted and tend to show their emotions a lot. v v open if u ask how they’re doing.

leo: headstrong. want to b in power for everything. passive aggressive. only kind to people they like. willing to fight anyone tbh

virgo: wowwpowowow i love u guys so much h**king TAKE ME. vvv open about some things. smart

libra: hella nice. vvvv aesthetic. basic style but they make it work rly well. feisty. talkative af. deserves better friends

scorpio: THE FEISTIEST OF THE FEISTY. gorgeous & will fight. can be really sweet but will become satan if you do something wrong. short-tempered

sagittarius: open about their emotions and really kind & sociable. always smiling

capricorn: smart as heck. hides their emotions from others but they’re rly lovable wow heck. love me BACK. always tells me (taurus) random facts heck

aquarius: DANK MEMESTERS WOW THEY DESERVE THE HECKIN BEST haha im not biased i love u guys a lot. hella talented. hates spooky movies. always up for cafe trips tbh

disclaimer: we aren’t experts on horoscopes!! this was made for fun. forgive us if we offend you or get something wrong. :d

aries: bro just fuckin deck him

taurus: MY TAN HISPANIC MAN RIDING ON A WHITE STALLION ON A BEACH

gemini: GIVE HIM THE OL RAZZLE DAZZLE

cancer: I DONT CRAVE DEATH ANYMORE

leo: AND IF I CATCH U GUYS IM GONNA SWING ALL 7 OF MY SHOPPING BAGS AT YOU

virgo: HOW DO YOU LIKE UR FUCKIN EGGS BRO

libra: H-HEWWO ANYWONE OUT THWERE

scorpio: OR ILL CHOKESLAM HIM INTO AN ABYSS

sagittarius: BOTH OF MY SIBLINGS HAVE CONSIDERED INCEST

capricorn: IT WAS SILENT BUT IK THEY WERE HAVING INTERCOURSE

aquarius: ITS 1111 DU MAA  DANK AIR HORNS I LEFT THE KIDS IN THE OVEN Y-YOU TOO GARY