#indigo future

// Letters to YVYNYL //

Conifer Vista - Pushing

 / Learning how to love and experience the end of love is a part of life, but particularly a big part of making music. Here’s a good low-fi song from Spokane’s Daniel Kinne about his journey.

Dear Mark,

I started playing music sometime in 2011 after being urged by two close friends to learn guitar so I could play in their band with them. Although I loved listening to music (as most people do) I told them I didn't think playing/making music would ever be a huge passion of mine, but I started learning some chords just to humor them. It's funny because opposite of what I had told them, I began to find myself addicted to playing music and throwing chords together every chance I could. Over the next few years writing music became all I really wanted to do. Even though that first band dissipated after a few years, I continued making music on my own.

This song is especially important to me because of how personal it is. I felt like it wasn't a song I could really play or record with anyone but myself. See I was with this girl for something like four years, and I'm only 21. Maintaining a serious relationship throughout the last years of high school and especially the years that follow is not easy at all. Most people would recommend not even trying to do that until later on in life. I thought it was worth it though; I thought she was worth it. Unfortunately, I couldn't settle down and give her the love and attention she deserved. I worked nights, late nights, and she worked early mornings so our time with each other was limited. On top of that I was spending the time I could have given to her just drinking beer and running around chasing the night with my buddies. I felt torn, I loved this girl, but knew I couldn't be tamed. I was trying to make sure I didn't get caught up living an "average" life; working a full-time job I hated and drowning my ambition day by day (I had to escape).

All of this ended up tearing us apart and bringing her pain. How could she feel like she was important to me if I couldn't even give her the time she deserved? After being with someone for so long parting ways is not simple or easy at all. She up and left to end it before thoughts or feelings kept her from staying and continuing in the pain I caused her. After that, it seemed like she was always trying to do something to break me down and intentionally hurt me. I realized there was nothing I could do about it besides take a step back and realize you can't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. Not an easy thing to accept at all, and I was miserable for quite some time. But I found solace in channeling my pain and sadness into this song. This experience also taught me that emotional distress, suffering and heartbreak can create some of the best and most meaningful music and art. So I'm actually glad all of this happened to me.

Sincerely,

Dan aka Conifer Vista

evening-leaves

winter-eve

WILD PACIFIC - What You Want (single)