#indeed..

As I got home last night, and after most of the week was spent trying to get a simple prescription for my partner, I sat down and felt no relief--no sense of finality that the task had been accomplished, that I finally managed to get this necessary medication after most of the week had gone by.

Basic necessities such as food and medicine turn out to be hard-earned things for me these days. There is too much to relate about why that is the case but suffice it state I am most unhappy about my current life situation.

I said as much last night to my partner.

I said I haven't been settled or happy or even relaxed for a number of years now, and that if I go on like this I'll most surely kill myself if only to get some (perceived) sense of relief from it all.

There was argument, and I was indeed harsh in tone and what I said, as I intended. I'm simply too tired to try to keep up a facade of nicety when I feel anything but. I cannot be happy with this person and in this current way of living so-called life.

I find no respite here or there or anywhere I can think of. I'm ready to put an end to this whole living nonsense once and for all. I don't see any point in it, especially when I'm left feeling as though the moment I can sit and reflect, I have to prepare for the same exhaustion the next day.

Anyway, dismiss this, Reader. I'm quite upset (an understatement) and I need to attend to other matters.