@indebte // hello , welcome to the first ever dead sisters club.
Everything feels so heavy.
His arms , his head , his heart. Who is Mikey without Toman ? There is no answer under the sky that can satisfy him , so he does the only thing left that makes him feel human. Along that long stretch of road he rides without stopping. Grey storm clouds accumulate in the distance , and he feels it next as the droplets of rain begin to give way to a torrential downpour.
What was the difference between Mikey and an abandoned building ? Not much. He is weathered too by the days of standing still. The rain seems to seep into his flesh , each drip echoing in his emptiness. He wonders if he were to crack open his ribs , how would he look inside — a slow beating heart like the last unvandalized stain glass of a forgotten church ?
Despite the weather , he continues to drive aimlessly , disregarding the worsening roads and visibility. It made sense didn’t it ? Disbanding Toman , it’s like what Shinichiro did back when Black Dragons stood at the forefront of Tokyo’s gangs. “ Shinichiro , ” he yells over the roar of his engine , tossing his head back , letting the rain pelt his face , “ Back then , did it hurt for you too ? ”
He takes a reckless turn , his wheel slamming the side of the curb. He knows something is wrong instantly by the sound and thud. Even now , he doesn’t want to stop , but there isn’t a choice as he pulls overs.
He hadn’t intended to be here. In fact , he had been avoiding the area since ... the accident. The shell of S.S Motors still stands as Mikey stares at it. It stares back. Suddenly , he can’t feel the cold rain at all , and his chest hurts — why does he hear sirens again ? Fumbling with his phone , he starts to call someone to bring him anywhere but here , but he stops , the half-dialed number glaring with the flashing battery warning.
Soon he will have to take his leave , to where he does not know , but there will be no one left at all. The how and the when is muddy in his brain , but he knows it’s better that he gets used to the feeling of being alone now. With a shaky breath, he looks up at S.S Motors again. Hello abandoned building , it seems to say , it looks like we are the same. It is right of course , hollow things that they are. They hold too much memories , too much dreams , and most of all they are missing the one person who made them whole.
It is without thought that he walks past the storefront to the back entrance. The door opens easily , as it always has , rarely locked during store hours. It’s been years , but he still remembers it all , and he stands there in silence. He can still hear the rain beating against the rooftop , and the shadows grow longer and longer , creeping along the walls. Hand over chest , he whispers , “ Shinichiro how do I fix it when it hurts here ? ”
