Carl: You're sentenced to death, Brian. You'll be hung. Justin: (from the back of the room) He's already hung! Brian: Uncuff me so I can high five my boyfriend

[In the diner] Justin: [Whispering] Brian kissed me. Debbie: [Gasps] Okay, so...was he holding you? Or were his hands, like, on your back? Justin: No, actually, first they were...they started on my waist, and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair. Debbie: Oh, my God! [At Babylon] Brian: I kissed Justin Ted: Tongue? Brian: [Smirk] Yeah. Ted: Cool.

Brian: Well now I just feel like an asshole. Justin: When do you not? Brian: Almost always. I really like me.

Brian: Yeah, I did some drugs, though probably not as many as you think. How many drugs do you think I did? Carl: A lot. Brian: Wow! Right on the nose!

Emmett: Are you gay? Drew: No, I'm not gay! Emmett: But you just kissed me! Drew: ...Okay, I'm gay.

Emmett (trying to be straight): I'm done with men. Emmett: This year is all about women. Emmett. Who walk like men. Emmett: Men are hot. Emmett: I miss men. Emmett: I'm back on men.

Emmett(trying to be straight): Well, a big hetero hello to all of you. Emmett: You buying this? Anybody? Yes? No? (source: orange is the new black)

Brian: Not to worry, I have a permit. Carl: This just says "I can do what I want."