Monica: why were you arrested this time?
Phoebe: I got arrested for being too cool.
Chandler: Charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
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Monica: why were you arrested this time?
Phoebe: I got arrested for being too cool.
Chandler: Charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

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Monica: Alright, Pheebs, would you rather kill Ross or-
Phoebe: I’ll kill Ross.
Rachel: You didn’t even hear the second option…
Phoebe: I don’t need to.
Ross: …
Ross: I’m feeling a little unsafe…
chandler: can you please stop calling peanut butter that?
joey: what’s wrong with “sticky nut juice”?
chandler: everything. every fucking thing
Chandler: No chick flick moments.
Rachel: You love chick flicks.
Chandler: Yeah, you’re right. *opens his arms for a hug* Come here.
Phoebe: “Look what I knitted for Mike.”
Rachel: “Oh, that’s interesting. And it smells like shampoo.”
Phoebe: “It’s a sweater entirely made of my hair!”

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"I'm not a robot, I'm British!"
-Emily
Joey: "Chandler, if I die I'd like you to do one small thing for me. I want you to build a one-hundred-acre museum dedicated to my memory. Bronze my clothing and possessions. Have at least three hundred marble statues erected of me in my most dashing poses. One of these statues should stand one hundred feet tall and greet ships as they float down the Hudson River. One of the fourteen wings of the museum should have an amusement park with the world's fastest roller coaster inside. None of these rides should be equipped with safety devices. You can license some of the space to fast-food restaurants and ice-cream parlors but nothing should be healthy or nutritious. The gift shop should sell stuffed Joey dolls packed with broken glass and asbestos. There's a more detailed list in my room."
Monica: Don’t you think it’s time you finally faced your biggest fear?
Chandler: Snakes?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Clowns?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Snake-clowns?
Monica: Chandler, listen. Your biggest fear… is being part of a family again.
Chandler: Nope. Now it’s snake-clowns, because you put that idea in my head.