Dean: so, how's married life?
Sam: oh you know, pretty standard
the wedding night:
Gabriel, absolutely wasted, gleefully ripping up bits of their marriage certificate, laughing maniacally: HA!
GOOD LUCK RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT, FUCKER!
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Dean: so, how's married life?
Sam: oh you know, pretty standard
the wedding night:
Gabriel, absolutely wasted, gleefully ripping up bits of their marriage certificate, laughing maniacally: HA!
GOOD LUCK RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT, FUCKER!

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Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Gabriel: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
Cas: dean what are we doing for Valentine’s Day? So I can clear my schedule accordingly.
Dean: *chuckles* babe im going to romance the crap out of you. Starting off with a lovely heart shaped pancake dinner and omelette, a day dedicated to each other. Maybe go to the beach of the pier..top it off with dinner and dessert at a fancy 5 star restaurant. Then we get home, get comfy, crack open a bottle of wine..and end the night by making love in front of the fireplace.
Cas: awwwwww 🥺🥺🥺
[meanwhile]
Sam: Gabe babe what are we doing for Valentine’s Day?
Gabe: Do you want me to be honest on what I had in mind?
Sam: *narrows eyes* yes.
Gabe: I was going to steal flowers from the cemetery and buy you a happy meal.
Sam: Wha—where’s the romance??
Gabe: …
Gabe: You can come with me and we Can do shmexy time in the parking lot-
Sam: NO
3... 2... 1... Happy New Year!
Dean and Cas: *heated makeout session*
Gabriel, to Sam: You wanna go see which one of us can finish the leftover eggnog the fastest?
Sam *turning on his heels toward the kitchen*: Hell yeah
Sam: You’re violent
Gabriel: Yeah but I’m also short so it’s adorable

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Cas: What does the words "take out" mean?
Jack: Food!
Sam: Date!
Gabriel: Murder.
Dean: All three if you're not a coward.
Gabe: please don't do this!
Sam: I have to, I'm sorry.
Gabe: don't betray me
Sam: it's too late
Gabe: I'll do whatever you want in bed!
Sam: I'm sorry
Sam: *plays a +4 card*
Gabe: NOOOOOOOO
Bonus:
Dean: I hate playing UNO with you guys
..
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