Roman: I would die for you.
Patton, cheerfully: Oh, I would die for you, too!
Roman:
Roman, tearing up: Please don't do that.
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Roman: I would die for you.
Patton, cheerfully: Oh, I would die for you, too!
Roman:
Roman, tearing up: Please don't do that.

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Patton: I could cuddle with you 23/7.
Roman: Why not 24/7?
Patton: Snack breaks.
Roman: Fair enough.
Patton, frantically: There's a spider in your hair!
Roman: Then get it out!
Patton: *backs up* Are you kidding me?! I can't touch that thing!
Patton: *whimpering*
Roman: Who did this to you?
Patton: It's nothing, I just stubbed my toe on the door
Roman, holding a chainsaw: Which door?
Roman: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Patton: It was me-
Roman: Be forgiven, because everyone deserves a second chance!

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Patton: One time I tried to hand Roman a bowl of soup, and I tried to say “careful, it’s hot” and “here’s your soup” at the same time, so instead, I said “careful, it’s soup.”
Patton: The other sides haven’t stopped laughing about it since.
Roman: So what’s for dinner?
Patton, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.
Patton: And what do we do when we feel sad?
Roman: We pet a dog.
Patton, nodding: We pet a dog