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i was soo happy because i got new eyeshadow colors so i started doing my make-up when i finally finished i was so happy with the colors. after a few mins passed i looked in the mirror to see if it still looked nice i just stared at myself not knowing my smile was turning into a frown i was telling myself i was pretty but then i thought of how others are soo much prettier than me so i removed my make-up and went to bed sad. -unknown
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Every morning or evening that I take a shower, I see the mirror. Inside the mirror I see a creature. Every time I go near a mirror the creature stares back at me. When I see this creature I feel a certain sense of disgust building up within me. Every flaw seems to get more noticeable the longer I stare at it, up to the point I can’t stand it anymore and I get tears in my eyes.
Sometimes the creature get’s a compliment that somewhat brightens the moment, but as soon as the moment is gone the underlying shadows of insecurity overshadow the same moments and self-doubt begins to build.
I tend to avoid mirrors nowadays. Seeing this creature only brings sadness with itself. However, lately the avoidance of mirrors doesn’t seem to stop this creature from creeping out. The doubts stay continuously, the disgust doesn’t get masked as much in the moments anymore.
I don’t want this creature to exist anymore. I want to get rid of it so I can stand myself again.
Insecurities
Lately I’ve been feeling very low about myself usually I do my hair and makeup and feel confident, but the past two weeks I haven’t. I would post a picture on Instagram and leave it but recently I deleted all my selfies. I only left the one with my friends and one of my body I posted about 3 weeks ago. And if I post a selfie I delete it right away because I don’t feel good about myself and that everyone is judging me. I usually don’t care what people think of me and how I look but I’ve been let that get to lately and I don’t like the feeling. It to the point where I don’t want to go out let alone get out of my room I want to go out but I just feel so insecure and that everyone is making fun of me AND I FUCKIN HATE THAT FEELING. It used to take my like three minutes to pick an outfit but know I take forever and I still don’t feel good about myself. I just wish I could feel comfortable in my skin and who I am and happy. And not be sorry that I don’t look like the rest of the girls. I just want to be happy
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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