Gellert: *stumbles in through the window into the Dumbledore home upstairs bedroom at night*

*crawls into bed and whispers* Hey Al. Miss me?

Aberforth: WHAT THE FUCK, Grindelwald?!

Dumbledore: *sigh*

Snape: *sigh*

Dumbledore: Lily?

Snape: Yep. Mysterious unnamed lover?

Dumbledore: Yep.

Snape: I wish Lily was still alive. Is your woman still alive?

Dumbledore: It’s a man.

Snape: Oh. You should try to reconcile.

Dumbledore: He’s in prison.

Snape: You have considerable influence. You could get him out.

Dumbledore: That might be difficult, seeing as I was the one that put him in there in the first place.

Snape: *figures it out*. Grindelwald?! Huh, I did not see that one coming.

Dumbledore: I did and it was a glorious sight to behold.

Gellert: Do you know what my name means?

Albus: No, but I think that you’re going to tell me. *sips on his butterbeer*

Gellert: It translates to either ‘hard’ or ‘spear’.

Albus: *chokes* Really? How... how interesting.

Gellert: *evil grin* What would you say if I said you make me very Gellert and I would like to Gellert you?

Albus: *blushes* Merlin, Gell! I am not that easy!

Gellert: Are you sure?

Albus: *bats his eyelashes* No. Please feel free to Gellert me all you like. But you have to take me to dinner first.

Aberforth:  Aha!  *catches Albus and Gellert walking out of Albus’ bedroom, their clothes and hair askew*  

Gellert:  *under his breath*  Oh shit.

Albus:  *deer in headlights*

Aberforth:  *glares* What the hell were you two doing in Albus’ room all day?  I heard a few strange noises.

Albus:  *blushing*  We were, ah, conducting some research.

Gellert:  Yes, research.  For um, academic reasons.

Aberforth: I’m not stupid.  I know exactly what you were up to.  Did you at least use protection?

Gellert:  *shrugs*  We locked the door.

Minerva:  What did Travers want?

Albus: He asked if Grindelwald and I were as close as brothers.

Minerva:  And?

Albus:  I told him we were fuck buddies.  Honesty is very important.

Gellert: Albus, I must speak to you about-

Albus: If this is concerning your irrational fear that I’m leaving you for Newt...

Gellert: It’s not, I swear, I just don’t like you spending time with him.

Albus: Don’t be such a jelly Gelly.

Bathilda Bagshot: Gellert, how many times must I tell you not to leave your clothes in the living room?

Gellert: Sorry, Tante Hilda!

Bathilda: *picks up shirt and examines it* Gellert, this shirt is too small for you. Who does this belong to?

Gellert: Er, it must be Albus’ shirt. *telling blush*

Bathilda: Why did he take off his shirt here?

Gellert: *panics* Um, it’s summer? I guess he was hot.

Bathilda: *mutters under her breath* Hot for you.

Gellert: What?

Bathilda: I wrote back to your father, Gellert.

Gellert: About?

Bathilda: He wanted to know how you're doing.

Gellert: And?

Bathilda: I mentioned your burgeoning friendship with Albus and added that you're taking the summer to become fluent in British relations.