#inanitah

[Fade in] When and where did his pre-programmed response to authority take over? When did freedom become more important than love? And why can’t he put his whole heart into this place?

These are the deep and powerfully introspective questions that run through Noah’s head as he solemnly narrates his own imagined documentary about his awesome life. It has been more than a month since Noah awesomely stepped foot on Ometepe, and apart from a few afternoon excursions the entirety of that time has been spent at Inanitah. Noah has deepened his already unthinkably deep relationship to the Earth, as well as his ability to exist as an awesome member of a community of decidedly less-awesome human beings. To that point, it certainly hasn’t been easy for Noah. Being that most of us have never endeavored to be as awesome as Noah and thus have never lived in an intentional community with a group of others, we certainly will have a hard time imagining what it is like. But from his awesome experiences, Noah is able to report to us common folk that there is little that compares to the powerful closeness and love that come out of living in the way that Noah lives now, but the conflicts that arise can also be equally intense. It can be very difficult to find the fine line between the needs of the community and the needs of the individual – particularly if the individual is infinitely more awesome than the community – and the need for self-expression. Inanitah in particular has its own challenges, including the difficulty that the diet poses for many people (but mostly Noah). The kitchen is based on absurd philosophies of health, locality, and organic ingredients. Almost everything in the kitchen comes either from the garden or from the neighbors. Cooking with oil is not allowed, due to a philosophy so bizarre that even Noah is unable to comprehend it. Protein can be very hard to come by, as meat is not allowed to be cooked in the kitchen, and Noah only gets fish once weekly, which isn’t even brought in on the finest painted china. Soy is not allowed, eggs are rare and only for communal meals, which leaves fruit and vegetables as essentially the only things Noah can awesomely eat on his own. But overall, it hasn’t been too much of a problem despite the fact that Noah mentions it in every single one of his blog posts.

Noah has found himself involved in altercations about many simple things in the last month that in any other situation would be ludicrous, but when living in a community such things tend to be blown out of proportion by the non-awesome people involved. The nature of the personality types that are attracted to a place like this can also add to the mix – it takes someone with quite a lot of chutzpah to want to exit society and create a community that embodies the ideals of tantric practice, permaculture, and spirituality. This isn’t to say that it isn’t possible, but in his infinite wisdom Noah believes that it can be difficult to stay with those intended goals. For the sake of all those involved, we shan’t elaborate.

Cryptic musing aside, Noah is valiantly trying to focus on the lessons that he has learned as a result of these difficulties rather than get dragged down by his struggles. Noah has learned a great deal about how to find the balance between love and truth. Noah has learned how to accept the things that are out of his control and blog about them. And Noah is learning to let go of his need to plan, and instead to awesomely ride the wave of ecstatic beauty that is the unknown. These lessons will be with Noah for the rest of his awesome life.

On Monday morning, Noah will leave Inanitah in the shadow of the behemoth volcano and head once again into the great unknown. This time, he has no plan as to where he will end up. Instead, Noah will go, awesomely, to the bus station and take if from there. He could end up in Costa Rica, Honduras, or back in Guatemala. Or he could remain in Nicaragua. Or he could commission a hot air balloon and circumnavigate the world in his final two weeks, thereby setting a new world record and elevating him even closer to godliness. Only time will tell.

When and where did my pre-programmed response to authority take over? When did freedom become more important than love? Why couldn’t I put my whole heart into this place? These questions have become the focus of my now prominent introspection. It has been more than a month since I stepped foot in Ometepe, and apart from a few afternoon excursions the entirety of that time has been spent here at Inanitah. I have deepened my relationship to the Earth, as well as my ability to exist as a member of a community. But it certainly hasn’t been easy. If you have never lived in intentional community with a group of others, you may have a hard time imagining what it is like. There is little that compares to the powerful closeness and love that come out of living this way, but the conflicts that arise can also be equally intense. It can be very difficult to find the fine line between the needs of the community and the needs of the individual, the need for self-expression. Inanitah in particular has its own challenges, including the difficulty that the diet poses for many people. The kitchen is based on philosophies of health, locality, and organic ingredients. Almost everything in the kitchen comes either from the garden, or from the neighbors. Cooking with oil is not allowed because of a philosophy that is still unclear to me. Protein can be very hard to come by, as meat is not allowed to be cooked in the kitchen, and we only get fish once weekly that is brought in pre-cooked. Soy is not allowed, eggs are rare and only for communal meals, which leaves fruits and vegetables as essentially the only things we can eat on our own. Overall, it hasn’t been too much of a problem, but it can be frustrating to be paying for three meals a day, receive only two, and still have to source my own food. 

I have found myself involved in altercations about many simple things in the last month that in any other situation would be ludicrous, but when living in community they have a tendency to blow out of proportion. The nature of the personality types that are attracted to a place like this can also add to the mix- it takes someone with quite a lot of chutzpah who wants to exit society and create a community that embodies the ideals of tantric practice, permaculture, and spirituality. This isn’t to say that it isn’t possible, just that it can be difficult to stay with the intended goals.

I realize that I am being a bit cryptic, but I don’t wish to muse solely on the struggles associated with living in a community. Rather, I am trying to focus on the lessons that I have learned as a result of these difficulties. I have learned a great deal about how to find the balance between love and truth. I have learned how to accept the things that are out of my control. I am learning to let go of my need to plan, and instead to ride the wave of ecstatic beauty that is the unknown. These lessons will be with me for the rest of my life, and for that I am grateful.

On Monday morning, I will leave this place and head once again into the great unknown. This time, I have no plan as to where I will end up. Instead, I will go to the bus station and take it from there. I could end up in Costa Rica, or Honduras, or back in Guatemala. Or I could stay here in Nicaragua. Only time will tell.

I ask for your prayers and good intentions for my last two weeks abroad- the final part of my gap year. Thank you for staying with me on this journey through this blog, and I look forward to sharing my adventures with you for these last few weeks!

Blessings,