#imreallydumb

And I know I’m leaving in July And I know you’re leaving in December And I know you’re probably insecure and unstable and stuff And I know you don’t acknowledge me in public or at band or whatever And I don’t know what you think about me-if you have someone else, if you think about me at all, if it’s anywhere near what I think of you And I know you think you’re only “okay”

But the thing is, you’re so not. You were probably kidding or whatever, but you need to be told you’re so much more than that. You’re absolutely delightful. Like, everything about you. Like, even all that stuff you hate is amazing in my eyes-it makes you flawed, and flaws make you vulnerable and that is absolutely beautiful because I’m super vulnerable too, and I don’t have to try like at all to “impress” you. I’d make a list..but I’d be typing all night. …Which I wouldn’t mind, if I was waking up to you the next morning. I harp on you for a lot of shit, but let me tell you, you are a damn good cuddler. You’re also a damn good listener (when you don’t fall asleep) Not to mention you can rock a beard like nobody’s business. (; And I really like your face. And how your hair’s always messy. And that little smile/shaking head thing you do. Gah.

You march to the beat of your own drum (….hahahahh :’) ) and it’s just really depressing how you don’t hear how cool the beat is! Like, you’ve got this creative alternative vibe about you that’s so different and great and genuine and I love it a heck of a lot. I know I’m really annoying and needy and clingy and dumb and then there’s times where I get super distant or pissy but that’s just because I’ve never met anything like you and I’m so happy this has a chance of happening again and I really don’t want to fuck it up like I did last time. And I get pissy because I know you’re this super awesome kid, and it makes me mad that other people don’t get to see it, too. Which I now realize is dumb, because then they’d see how cool you are and be writing gay essays on tumblr, too. And I foreal hate competitions I know I probably won’t win.

I totes feel like this could be almost like a second chance…like, people who reconnect after like 2 years or whatever. Maybe that’s my lame romantic side. Gah. I’m so dumb. But I feel like if it did happen, it’d be like a really great thing. Not to mention super cute. You probably don’t think that..you probably haven’t even thought about that as a possibility. But hey, a girl can dream :’) Like, even if it doesn’t though, even if we just stay friends and don’t end up being together or whatever, I still need a faggot I can talk to when I’m feeling down or when my life aligns with a Spongebob quote! Plus you know all of my secrets, so you can’t leave

Gah I’m dumb and feelings are dumb and I’m turning all soft and I hate it. But I basically I just wanted you to know that you are the best flawed, talented, sarcastic, intelligent person I have ever had the privilege to meet, and I just really hope one day you see yourself like I see you right now.