#impossible game

A black sheep looking for a getaway

I got two plane tickets, baby name your place

Neighbors' dog, plotting out his escape

I ran downstairs and unlocked that gate

Well sometimes you do what you feel

Well most times I feel like shit

So slow down, feels like we're rushing away

Tried my hold on to this impossible game

And I know I'm wrong, what else can I say?

I got a glimpse of this feeling, I'm trying to stay in

So all this time at home has made me bored with my general games (there’s only so much I can watch the cat chase the cursor of the map in Skyrim). So i started playing old DOS games. We had a DOS computer throughout middle school and high school. When it was replaced with a “real” computer, the DOS stayed around in the basement, a quiet haven to go play something without people around. 

There was a murder mystery minimal graphics adventure I loved as a kid. I never got far (there were limited save slots and siblings protected them fiercely). I couldn’t remember the title of it anyway, despite wanting to try again as an adult. Some dedicated searching discovered the name of the game and an in-browser playable version of 

LEGENDS OF MURDER: STONEDALE. 

I was SO EXCITED about this. I would finally triumph as my little C dude, figure out who killed the king. I would take all my years since of game skills and rock this shit out. And anything I couldn’t learn, I could use the limitless internet. Except for i found something bizarre. The internet...barely remembers this game at all. I was able to identify the game (as much because when i saw it i recognized it). There is a youtube video (singular) of about the first 2 min of game play. There’s a review from a blog from ten years ago, and a BBS posting about playing the game, but nothing else. The internet remembers that time you wet your pants in third grade, remembers the kid who ate his napkins (LOOKIN AT YOU KRAIG) but has forgotten this game. I thought ‘OK, i will play this like a boss, write up my own walk through, do the internet a service”

And promptly got stumped. I restarted and...got no further. I probably have screamed “WHERE IS THE PASS CARD” a thousand times at my screen and yet found nothing. I have all but gone pixel-by-pixel trying to find it and getting increasingly frustrated. For the first time in eight years, I’m sorry I cut off my siblings and parents--yes they were so toxic they should have been giving off fumes from bright green barrels. But they might have known how to find this!