#old games

(screenshot from my movie "Chocolates")

Before I start talking about what I think of this game, I want to say how difficult it was to start playing it when it runs like an old nag with broken knees. It's not included in any game libraries, and you HAVE to configure your computer for it. For example, the textures weren't working for me, and I tried three different methods, and only one of them worked.

As a micromanagement goddess, I managed to reach the end of the game on my first try (that is, get to 2005 from 1905). My studio was called "приколы студио" (funsies studio). Somehow, at the beginning, we were almost an all-female studio. This wasn't what I planned, but somehow our entire cast and directors, as well as 75% of the technical staff, were women.

What do you need to know about my cast? They're all fucking annoying assholes. They all constantly want something, they all constantly get drunk and they constantly want to ruin my life. They all want the most comfortable trailers (even when it's 1940), people who will kiss their asses and, of course, a ton of booze. To be fair, the directors were the biggest alcoholics. Of course, that's probably because as soon as they stopped filming one movie, I immediately put them on another, which stressed them out, but in my defense, I have five people on my team, and only one of them is a director. In my start team, I had one director who had been to rehab three times in 50 years, which, of course, hindered my filmmaking. That's why I named her "Пьяница ебучая" Mind you, she was the most popular of all my stars. In reality, she would have been canceled of course. Only when I could afford a second director it become easier.

The worst period for our company was the 1970s, because that's when my ladies started retiring and it so happened that I accidentally assigned the same extras to two films and at some point they stopped filming EVERYTHING! Of course, I didn't go into the red, I just lost 600-700 thousands (from 1 million to 300 000). We didn't have particularly long casting lines before, but with so many actors leaving, I was ready to hire any homeless bud, and… 😮‍💨 sex equality won, and we had to hire men. I think that's when our studio lost its charm…

(fragment rom my movie "stinky")

You see, I don't know how to operate in the normal mode if you want to create films with your own hands. Because at some point, your stars start asking for a salary of 20 000 dollars instead of 10 000 dollars, and to keep your studio afloat, you need at least two mid films in cinemas. By the end of the game you've become John Disney Capitalist, who starts thinking in terms of money. "Okay, now I'll set my five dirty screenwriters to writing a melodrama script. As soon as they're done, I'll immediately set them to writing an action movie and I'll send the melodrama out to the publicity department. They finish it.... oh wait, don't go away, our director just got off the set of a sci-fi movie, quickly write another sci-fi movie, that's all he's good at. oh, we need to send the melodrama out to the publicity department again, and the action movie too"

See? Writing your own script requires a ton of time and you don't have it!

By the end of the game, I lost any sense of personal connection to my characters. I've personally had directors and actors come to me who were a hundred years at lunch and were about to die in two minutes. So they literally come to you and ask you for people (whom you're already short of) to kiss their asses (I've mentioned them before, they're called "entourage" here), a salary comparable to your best actress, who's been working here since birth and the most comfortable trailer. In the end, I only renamed the young actors

Speaking of entourage, I really needed all people and that entourage for other stars too. I didn't really understand where the entourage goes after an actor/director retires, but it certainly doesn't come back to me. So a month before the character's retirement, I decided to take their entourage away from them and relegate them to the category of construction workers or cleaners, so that I could later turn them into excitement for new actors who came to star in the same film. Well, yeah, they won't be very happy, but I too won't be very happy to lose ass-kissers, they will retire anyway. I think I'm a management genius.

Funsies: Your studio is in America. Throughout the game, you listen to a radio news program that not only reflects real-world news (World War II, the Cold War, Gagarin's moon landing, the Vietnam War), but also have a satire of American politics at the time. If you like that kind of thing, you might want to check it out.... there's also an annoying dj, whom I turned off because he made misogynistic unfunny jokes You can pause the game, but you can't pause and start planning. That means you have to do everything in the moment. You can't pause and destroy the old trailer to build a new one. No. You need to demolish the trailer at unpause, your star will be upset because she no longer has a trailer but other stars do and that's unfair, and meanwhile she is on set and starts causing a scandal and stopping the filming process and you have to deal with it while the new cool trailer is building. AND PRAY TO GODDESS if you have enough builders

Does anyone remember this game?

god, I remember playing it on my ipad as a... 11/12 year old.

It was quite a popular one when I was younger around late 2010 you played as some sort of animal I think?

And you were in a giant city surrounded by a wall that you could get out if you tried really hard for example going through a really small hole.

And I also remember that you can spawn in a giant toilet and I also remember you could get it on mobile but it was also available on pc.

And there was an underground sewer where you'd have to try not to get caught by enemies and to get some sort of key card to enter a secret room or something?