#important discourse

ok friends I am open to all suggestions here. for science. sending out the bat signal.

imo he's uncut. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a bit of an upward curve, the position he uses in that scene would feel amazing if it were true.

and we know from all his manspreading that he's not small. that thing needs breathing room.

blood:

okay fine but you’ll complain the whole time

always having a headache is definitely a personality trait

“if i almost kill myself trying to help to help you, will you finally shut up?”

the hot takes will continue until morale improves

this power nerfed empath character will not stop getting in trouble and putting everyone else in danger (not clickbait)

space:

you will never stop being underestimated

(watching everyone else fuck up) “clearly i should have prevented this”

usage of deadly force is a great way to get the plot to actually pay attention to you, keep it up!

you are tired of trying to fix people, and desperate for someone to make you worse already

being so fucking funny but people think that you are sincere: a tragedy

hope:

everything happens so much oh god

you are trying your best (performance varies wildly)

(two seconds after doing a thing) “oh this is bad, i should not have done this”

“PLEASE PERCEIVE ME” “okay” “NO, NOT LIKE THAT”

in the right circumstances you are stupidly OP. in the wrong circumstances you are STILL stupidly OP, and you’re about to make it everyone’s problem.

life:

if everyone would just listen to you, they would still get in trouble, but you’re pretty sure it would be BETTER trouble

“you either die a hero, or live long enough to decide that you do what you want (you will probably still die)”

anything you can’t solve with flow charts and color-coded markers, can DEFINITELY be solved with a large enough crowbar and plenty of duct tape

it’s not that you don’t love your friends, it’s just that they could occasionally work a bit harder at deserving it

level of cheerfulness directly proportional to how close you are to hauling off and stabbing someone with the nearest implement, and that’s very sexy of you

light

literally the opposite the of “not good, not bad, just nice”

(watching everyone else fuck up) “lol amateurs”

it’s not that you don’t have crippling insecurities, it’s just that you have decided that those are just as awesome as the rest of you

hating you is not a personality trait, but if that’s all some people have then who are you to stop them?

everything about you is GREAT for getting shit done, but TERRIBLE at parties.

void

you will never stop being misinterpreted

wanting something all the time sounds exhausting, this is a Vibes Only zone

you could literally tell people that you are manipulating them and they would still actively claim that you are not. you are mystified by this.

i was reborn as a pivotal plot instrument that is almost never recognized as such: the anime

this would be such a long list if we included ALL your different & highly convenient personalities, and we don’t have time for that

time

“yes, but can i fight it” is not a coping mechanism. no, really.

either learn that self-sacrifice is not the same as selflessness, or be unbearable forever

(watching yourself fuck up repeatedly) “there was literally no way i could’ve avoided this”

being aware of your main character syndrome doesn’t change what it is

fatalism is not a personality trait, but if it was it would be a terrible one. pick something else. nihilism, on the other hand, looks super cute on you and matches all your shoes. slay.

mind

“mom friend” “grandpa friend” ok but has anyone considered the benefits of a “deranged cousin who probably has mob connections friend”

(watching yourself fuck up repeatedly) “lol amateur”

you’ve found the perfect balance between being too plot relevant and not being plot relevant enough, and this is what makes you terrifying

is it spite or is it affection? yes.

assigned manic pixie dream girl at birth, and about to make it everyone’s problem

doom

your relevance to the plot is inversely proportional to your own personal well-being. just… stand still and try not to breathe too loud.

if you loved your friends less, i might be able to talk about it more. or, you know, talk about anything except how profoundly stupid all of their decision are <3

you have decided that being too tired to dress properly is a fashion statement

your ability to JUST WALK OUT is truly inspiring, people should be more like you

“that’s rough, buddy”

breath

your ability to JUST WALK OUT is a problem, people should consider not being like you

(two seconds after doing a thing) “okay this is bad, but it could obviously be a lot worse so i’m fine”

either learn the difference between optimism and outright denial, or be unbearable forever

you think that you’re a Vibes Only person, but if you were to stop wanting things all the time you would in fact die

“not today satan” is not a coping mechanism. it’s literally the opposite of that.

rage

everything about you is TERRIBLE for getting shit done, but GREAT at parties

everyone would like it if you stopped going apeshit and tried being nice instead

learning the difference between nihilism and just stabbing people is an important part of character development. it’s also very hard. it’s okay.

(two seconds after doing a thing) “ooooh this is bad… but how can i make it worse?”

chaotic dick energy

heart:

paradoxically, the ONLY way you are good at manipulating people is by convincing them that you are manipulating them.

wanting things all the time is exhausting and you would like to stop. but you cannot.

you are trying your best (performance varies wildly)

the fact that the previous point was identical to someone else’s means that you’re not totally unique in every way, and you’re having a crisis about it