#implied miscarriage

"I-I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear I wouldn't have gone after you if I had known! It was just a horrible mistake! I shouldn't have taken that hit, I-I wasn't thinking! I just wanted to protect you!"

Sunshine sobs into his hands, his weakened body trembling in his hospital bed as he apologized to his husband for what felt like the millionth time. But no matter how many times he said it or how many times Starlight insisted that it wasn't his fault he would never forgive himself for what they had lost during their most recent battle.

This post brought to you by the cursed seahorse vampire theory, several jokes with friends, one other post in the tag, and not enough sleep. (It's how various LoK characters would react to getting pregnant. If you think this is serious you may be stupid.)

Kain: Depends on the era. If it's during the empire, then he will more than happily put his feet up for a few months to add another little terror to his brood. After being a single dad of six, one baby made the old fashioned way isn't going to bother him. But in the Blood Omen eras? Fuck that noise, he's gonna yeetus that fetus as soon as he finds out he got knocked up.

Raziel: Excitement. Panic. Internal conflict. Being a pregnant trans man is even more fraught with the additional gender politics of female humans and male vampires being the ones who give birth. he swings between being elated and deeply dysphoric on a dime, but is mostly so, so excited to be a dad.

Turel: No. If he even suspects birth control failed he's getting the Nosgothic equivalent of Plan-B. If he finds out too late, then, like his father before him, it's abortion time.

Dumah: Was pretty chill about this development, thinks kids might be fun, then the morning sickness hit. 50/50 on whether he deals with not being able to have fun fighting things for a few months or decides screw this shit, he'll stick to getting kids ready made instead.

Rahab: Is excited. Will he lay eggs? What is the child's physiology going to be like? Would a water-birth be safer or is the risk of it not inheriting his dark gift too high? He's going to find out and share his theories with anyone who will listen.

Zephon: Will whine and complain and be dramatic. "you know you don't have to-" "No, no, I'm gonna keep it."

Melchiah: Much like Raziel, is having the whole cocktail of pregnant trans man emotions, plus several available only to people with chronic health conditions. He's looking up what analgesics he can safely take while pregnant, checking his own health excessively, and generally trying to decide how much he's willing to put himself at risk for a much wanted pregnancy. The first unplanned one probably would not last long either by accident or design, but after a lot of planning, researching, and support from family, he does manage to have a biological child on his terms, by c-section and a few weeks early.

Vorador: Totally unbothered about getting knocked up, refuses to change his lifestyle in any way, probably has a dozen kids being taken care of in one wing of his estate, all of them sired by different people. Likes to take the kids out on trips, absolutely refuses to do actual parenting.

Janos: Isn't on birth control due to his religion, so knew this was going to happen when he settled down in a committed relationship. The main change to his lifestyle is that he starts knitting baby clothes instead of little sweaters for his cats.

Masterlist.  Kyran.

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“Drink the water, Kyran,” Gabriel had said, sounding amused.  That should’ve been his first clue – Gabriel never sounded happy when he was talking to him.

The second clue, and the last one he needed, was the burning sensation that followed that first cool gulp. His throat was on fire and Kyran could do nothing but drink more water.  Drink and drink until his stomach felt like it was dissolving and his throat was nothing more than a ruined mess.  Drink until the unhealthily pale complexion of his skin alerted Rae that something was wrong.

“Kyran, are you okay?” she asked, shuffling closer.  Kyran directed wide eyes to the bottle that was slowly emptying itself down his throat. “Stop drinking,” she said, and it translated to a very welcome command.

Kyran tossed the bottle as far away as he could and proceeded to choke up half the water he’d swallowed, turning the ground beneath him into a sickly red.  He heard Rae’s shout from far away, as if he was underwater, and could see Gabriel’s smirk as though it was at the end of a tunnel.

Red, everywhere.  On his hands, as he tried to ineffectually wipe his mouth.  On the floor, along with half his throat.  And tainting his surroundings with a crimson haze as fury broke past panic and fear.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Kyran gasped out, his eyes fixed on Gabriel.  While his voice wouldn’t go above a whisper, he’d injected enough venom in it to make Lilith flinch.

growing up , elise was indeed the golden child . her older brother and younger sister weren’t given the time of day by their parents as they spent a great deal of time grooming elise into the perfect heir to the family , one who could raise the bar higher than ever before for the kythera family . she learned all that she should know of politics , debate , history , and many others tools she could use to her advantage . she was a smart , dedicated , and creative woman who would rather use her wits rather than her beauty to get what she desired . if it was power her family wanted , a mind must be put to work , and work she put in . elise was an object many houses desired to ensure more power to their houses , but alas , elise only had eyes for the house of zaavan . a house that was much more powerful than hers , and so , all suitors were turned down . not giving any of them the time of day .

a meeting and arranged marriage was set in place for the two , ensuring more power to their families would ensure their future standing and the generations to come . but as such an arrangement was made , elise , at first , did not love the man before her . she knew from the very beginning that she was with little care for topics of love and affection , to love another and devote themselves to their significant others . elise would not waste much time after they have sealed the deal and were wedded , as days turned into months , her husband , aleksander was far from pleased with how his wife had held more power than he did . how it was so easy to look at the two and tell who had the other under their thumb . and he did not sit well with such looks from the other houses .

Two and a half years ago my father got a call from an old friend who wanted him to work for him for a day, for pay. My father, being the lazy drunk he is, decided at the very last minute that he didn’t want to work. He told his friend that he and my mother had to make an emergency drive to my college because I was pregnant. This was not true.

A few months later, they put me in touch with his friend because he wanted to write a memoir and needed a ghostwriter with some publishing knowledge. The day I was scheduled to meet this friend, my father pulled me aside and said “Just so you know…” and told me the story I’ve relayed above, which was, again, completely untrue. Today, my father’s friend came in for a visit and asked about me, and my imagined child. My father told him I’d miscarried, then came into my room to tell me about it, in case the friend wanted to see me. He smelled like stale cigarette smoke and beer and his ashes are still on my carpet. I told him to get the fuck out of my room and he retreated like a child. He stumbled and I wished he would fall.

As a girl in a very serious relationship who wants children very badly, a miscarriage is something I panic about even now, when we have no plans to start trying until long after we’re married. My mother suffered eight brutal miscarriages before having me and it very nearly broke her. Knowing that my father would lie about such a thing, especially to someone I was going to begin a professional relationship with, makes me feel naked and violated. Here is a man I barely know, who knows something deeply personal about me, and it isn’t even true. What’s worse is that if something like this ever did occur, my father would never, ever find out. If he did, I would hope he wouldn’t go blathering that information to someone HE barely knows, but I now know that would be asking too much.

I don’t like myself very much, and I have a very hard time accepting good things about myself. But I have put a great deal of time and energy into cultivating my reputation so that it is something that reflects my best qualities. I know that people see me as intelligent, responsible, and (hopefully) kind. It makes me sick to know that my father, a man whose reputation is only a step above actual trash, could tarnish my name so easily.