Kaidan trailed his fingers over her skin slowly, doing his best to not disturb her slumber. He couldn’t keep himself from touching her though.

She was curled up so sweetly against his side and lap, dozing peacefully for the first time in Gods knew how long. Her cheek was pressed into his chest, squishing it just so; tiny hands lightly curled.

The way her body meshed against his made him feel complete. For years he wondered alone, without anyone by his side, and betrayed by the one he had trusted most. But now, he has a home with her. Pleased to do whatever she wanted, follow where she went, protect her from harm…

His lips settled against the top of her head, the squeezing of his heart in his chest too much to bear. He carefully pulled her closer to settle on top of him better, letting out a sigh to relieve the ache inside of him.

He still had yet to find the proper words to say how he felt about her. He didn’t want it to come off awkwardly. They’d been friends for so long— and just as long were the commentary from others asking if they were together. He had always wondered after they both denied it if she wouldn’t mind being with him. If her denial came from embarrassment rather than disinterest.

But most of all, he was worried about scaring her off. Long talks in the night about how she had fears of intimacy, what men had attempted to do to her, her past relationships ending in heartache… he didn’t want to be plopped into the cluster of those people. He wanted to continue being her safe haven— an overhang cliff side that shrouded her safely from all elements.

He had his own worries too, about his sordid history. He would rather kill himself than coerce her, but did she want to remain distanced even in a relationship? Would he ever feel comfortable touching her in that way, knowing he would coat her with the blood on his hands?

So many things kept his tongue at bay. So many sleepless nights, just spent… wondering about possibilities, both good and bad.

She shuffled against him, moving in her sleep again. Her face moved to rub against his pecs, half burrowing into him, and a small purring noise rose from her throat for a moment. Her arms shifted slightly, hands now clinging to his resting leathers.

He felt the smile cross his lips without any prior thought of doing the action. He was so enamoured with her, it hurt.

Petting the top of her head softly, fingernails scratching her scalp, he stifled a chuckle as she subconsciously leaned into it in her sleep.

“G’night, kitten.” He rumbled softly, pressing another kiss to her head. “Sweet dreams.”

He’d have the guts to say it the proper way one day.