#implicit smut

When I saw him for the first time, it was at a rather tasteless bar. He looked like a small, lost animal as he sat at the counter, sipping from the glass of alcohol. I couldn't tell what he was drinking, but seeing the funny expression he wore on his face every time he gulped the liquid down his throat, I assumed it was something pretty strong.

I sat at one of the tables, my eyes being unable to leave him alone as I found it interesting how easily it was to read him. His face expression showed sorrow, sadness, with a tint of defeat. A train of thoughts was tormenting his soul, and it seemed to be pretty intense for making him drink all these strong emotions away.

I sat there for a long time before I decided to approach him. So I slowly made my way towards the counter, and sat on the stool beside him. By now, it looked like the alcohol took a toll on him. The arms were folded under his chin as he was fighting the urge of going to sleep. With heavy lids, he looked ahead, but his eyes seemed to be dead. Funny enough, this guy reminded me of an abandoned puppy which was still waiting for its owner. I shook my head at the thought, and then lightened up a cigarette. The bartender didn't waste time as he quickly brought me an ash tray. With a polite smile I thanked him and took a long drag from the cancerous stick. So many people told me that I should stop smoking, but it is easier said than done. We all die from something, anyway.

My eyes fell on the small frame of the puppy who still sat beside me. His body started shaking, making my eyebrow raise in question. I was not sure if he felt cold or if he was crying, and I could not see his face because now he had it completely buried in the fabric of his hoodie.

"Mister, are you alright?" I asked him as I tapped his shoulder gently. But it seemed that he decided to ignore me. Well, I was a stranger, so he couldn't know if I was a creeper or a serial murderer.

I decided to keep quiet for now. I was never that friend from whom you could seek comfort, because I have never understood people's points of view as most of the time they were simply stupid. That made me lose my patience rather quickly and we mostly ended up getting into an argument as our opinions differed. However, I couldn't ignore him, who looked almost pathetic and so out of place. So, I let him dwell into the silence, but my hand carefully caressed his back. To be honest, I was ready to feel the muscles tense under my touch, no, I actually thought that he would slap my hand away. Bu strangely, I felt him…relaxing? He stopped shivering and he let out a long sight.

"Sir, you are going to get burned." the bartender's voice took me by surprise. I turned my head to see him better, and I was welcomed by a warm smile. The man pointed at his mouth, and that's when I realized that the cigarette was barely hanging by the edge of my lips, ready to fall from my mouth any time.

I heard a chuckle coming from beside me. I opened my mouth to ask what was funny, but he shut me up with his own question. "Why do people fall in love?" His voice cracked all amusement from earlier gone, and his words were slurred. Now, I was more than sure that he was on the verge of crying, but he tried to hide it as he pushed his head deeper into the sleeves of his hoodie. So this is what tormented him. I played with the ice from my glass as I thought of an answer. Well, my personal answer was pretty obvious to me, but I tried to think of something to sooth his soul. And after a long moment of silence, and when he seemed to have calmed himself down, I told him that it was just a natural thing. And it was true. People are born, they live, fall in love, get married, have children, become old people, and, finally, they die. I scoffed at the thought, catching his attention, a million of questions danced in his eyes as he peeked at me. He wanted me to elaborate it, but I didn't want to. I was not going to crush his hope, the stupid hope that all people seemed to possess. That cycle of life is just boring, and doesn't even apply to everyone. People want to be happy, which is cool, but they wait for all the good things to fall from the sky. Being miserable doesn't mean that they should just stay back, complain about how hard life is, and wait for someone to save them.

I could still feel him staring at me as I crushed the cigarette into the ash tray. It was obvious that he wanted to hear more of what I had to say. Sure, I could have just sat up and leave, but I was the one who got me involved in this, so it is only fair to have a conversation with him.  This is how we ended up talking about "love", and people in general. It didn't take a genius to realize that he was a simple person who didn't want to face the cruel reality.

After a few more glasses, he started opening up to me. He looked and sounded so broken while explaining how he had a lover, but he broke up with him, without any explanations or reasons. I stood there listening to him while he poured his heart out. He was the typical heartbroken guy whose lover cheated and found someone else because he wanted something fresh. Boring. Nevertheless, I tried to give him some advices.

Our time together came to an end as my phone started ringing. I excused myself and took the call, but it was not a long one, luckily. When I came back, I met two hopeful eyes. It seemed like my words and the kindness I showed him had a good effect upon him. Now he looked better, he even sat straight in his chair. However, I had to get back to my businesses, so I asked him if he wanted to meet again, and he happily gave me his phone number. And I even offered him a helping hand on getting him home, but he declined my offer, saying that he will just grab a taxi. Fine by me. With that, we said our goodbyes, and I walked out of the bar, curious of what will happen next. I was curious if he will remember everything that was said between us or if he will shy away from me. He looked like that type of person who didn't want to reveal anything about himself, but tonight he did that.

The following weeks were pretty interesting. Not only was I surprised when he texted me first, apologizing for that night, but he was also asking me for further advices while thanking me a millionth time for listening to him. And this is how we started talking to each other daily, meeting at a cafe from time to time. He was still pretty sad, and I could tell he couldn't properly sleep at night as every time I saw him the dark rings around his eyes gave him away. Maybe in time he will learn to accept the situation and that he will be able to heal his heart, but he should hurry up. Time is not going to stop for him. Until the moment came, I was going to stay as his friend, as he called me one time, and it slowly turned into a very good friend. He was a fool. He was trusting people a little too easily, but, strangely, I found it pretty cute.

But this careless behavior only brought him a tragic end as he was attracting dangerous people around him, even though I tried to stop him from doing something dangerous. But he never understood in what he was getting involved, and I could not always keep an eye on him, which was stressing me out at times.

The last time I saw him, he was lying in a pool of fresh blood on his apartment's floor. It was a painful loss, but I couldn't do anything for him. I just hoped he was in a better place.

 "…Mr. Deren?" A high pitched voice made me come back to reality as two confusing eyes looked at me from behind a pair of black rimmed glasses.

"Yeah? Sorry. What were you saying?" I brushed my hand through my hair. I couldn't sleep well last night, but it was no excuse for daydreaming like this when I had a job to complete.

"I said that you can enter. Mr. Woods is expecting you." And then she went back to her files, which were scattered on her desk, by the way. Such a messy secretary Mr. Woods has.

"Ah, you are finally here!" A husky voice welcomed me, even before I had the chance of stepping into the office. "Come in, hurry up." I raised a brow at him in question. What was the rush? But I did that, I walked inside, and the door was quickly closed behind me.

I took a sit at his desk, and I stared at him while he was searching for something in one of the drawers. He was pretty bland. I couldn't say he was ugly, but neither was he handsome, and I guessed that he was in his late 30s.

"Here you go." He pushed an envelope towards me. "You have no idea how much you’ve helped me!" A disgusting smile pulled on his lips, and I could imagine what he was thinking about.

I should have just taken the envelope and be on my way out of the building, but I found myself walking in front of him. "I want to ask you a question." It was more of a command. My hip was resting on the edge of the desk, my hand gently cupping his cheek, making him look at me. His eyes slowly darkened in lust. I heard about this man. He was one of these people who fucked everything that had a hole. Fool.

I was not bad looking and I could see how he eyed the lower half of my body when we met for the first time.

"And what is your question?" He asked in a low voice, capturing my hand in his, and planting a kiss on my palm.

"What would you wish for before you died?" I asked playfully, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

"What's wrong with you? It is something weird to ask, don't you think?" He chuckled.

"You think so?" I didn't pursue the topic, but I could see him faking the way he was thinking of an answer, even though we both knew what he wanted. It was a good chance for him to have a piece of what he wanted, so why would he pass it?

"I want a good fuck before I die." He smirked and pushed me closer to him. "Are you happy now?"

"Then come and get it." I mirrored his smirk, and he was more than happy to accept the invitation as he pushed me back on his desk and started kissing me roughly. He smelled like a combination of mint and very expensive cologne. Shortly, a feeling of disgust overcame me as he started grinding against me. Well, I promised him a good fuck, so I allowed him to play with my body however he wanted, but my mind was wandering in other places, not wanting to take part in such a primitive act.

"Daren…" Ah, I could recognize this voice. "I really can't get over this breakup, and it feels like it is eating me inside. I want to see him, I want to touch him, kiss him. And the thought that I won't ever be able to do that drives me crazy. But what can I do? Tell me, Deren! You give me the best advices. It is wrong that I fell in love with him? Maybe I should have realized that he is out of my league. I am, just as you always say, a fool.”

“It hurts...I want to be happy too. I tried seeing other people, but it is not the same. They will never replace him. He was not perfect, sure, but if you knew him well, then you would understand that he is just a sad man. I am sorry for him, and I really tried to help him, Daren, I seriously tried my best, but he was just pushing me away. Maybe I should have given him his personal space. Sometimes, he would scream at me, telling me that I was too clingy and annoying. Do you think this was the reason?"

"How can he replace me so fast? Did these 6 years of relationship not matter at all? You know what? Screw him!"

"Hah, are you already drunk? Pffs! Talking about killing and all that stuff. You are crazy, my friend."

 "I am coming, baby!" These words brought me back to reality, but I would have preferred to stay locked in my own memories. Hovering over me was Woods who was panting like a pig. I could feel something sticky on my chest; I knew what it was, of course. This is why I didn't even look down. I was, however, glad he didn't take my coat off. I should be more careful.

"Ah, you didn't come yet? Don't tell me that you found my skills bad!" He sounded so offended, almost made laugh.

"It is not important." He was not very happy with my answer, but who cared. He got what he wanted.

As I pushed him away, getting into a sitting position on the desk, I felt the need for a smoke, so I asked him if he had a cigarette. He did, and even helped me to light it. What a gentleman, not. Maybe he thought that he could turn me into one of his fuck buddies, if he was nice enough with me.

"Woods," I suddenly said, breaking a suffocating silence between us. I looked him dead in the eyes. "That guy really loved you." My words came out so spontaneously that I did not even realize how random it sounded.

For a moment he was confused, but then he understood what I was talking about. "Are you really talking about him? Let me tell you something, I don’t care." He fumed and walked towards the adjunct bathroom, showing me his back. Golden rule, never turn your back to an untrustworthy stranger.

"But you two are pretty similar, you know. You are fools who can't sense danger, even if the fangs are just a few centimeters away from your faces."

"Shut up! Don't you dare compare me to that frea-"

BANG!

Woods fell on his back in shock. His hand was covering the shoulder, where the bullet was feeling at home, stuck there, in his flesh. Blood was oozing from the wound, coating the arm slowly in it. What a beautiful sight, I thought as he looked like he could finally smell his death approaching.

"You fucking piece of shit!" He screamed at me, finding force in him to do something else other than looking at me in fear. Now it was all replaced by anger. Oh yes, show me what you got, make it more fun. "Oh, I think I understand now. You fell in love with that freak, and now you are going to kill me instead of him. I gave you one job! Kill him, not fuck him, you worthless whore!"

"Wait, what?" It was my turn to look at him in disbelief. What was that? It was actually funny, so funny that it made me burst out in laughter. "I am sorry to break your illusions, but he is dead. Didn't you see the news? Come on, Woods. You hired me because you know I am the best in this field, so are you doubting me now? You are a strange guy. And don't worry, you two love birds can meet again in hell because you just killed each other. You were too obsessed with your social status, so you decided to push away the only person who gave a shit about you. But yeah, you were too afraid of him because he knew your secrets and could bring you down, but oh, you were so wrong. He didn't intend to do that, so an innocent person died. Or was he innocent?" By now I was crouched in front of him, my gun firmly pressed against his forehead. I could hear him gulp nervously, fear paralyzing his whole body. "He did the same as you. He hired me to kill you." I smiled as I saw him struggling in finding the right words.

"No, t-that is impossible. He…how...he can't"

"Goodbye, Woods."

"Wait!" He screamed while gripping my wrists in an attempt of escaping from me. I was curious, so I let him speak. "Money! I am rich. I can give you money!"

"Woods, you are making me laugh again." My words were accompanied by a mocking, weak chuckle. "You could have been a comedian."

I could tell he was thinking of a way or another to make a deal with me, and I could only pity him. He was actually killed because his drunk ex-lover hired me without even knowing what he was doing, or how serious I was. These two fools liked to play with fire, but they got burnt, badly.

And my patience was running thin with this squirming pig.

I stood up on my feet, looking down at a silent Mr. Woods. The wall behind him was splashed with blood, and it looked like fireworks. That reminds me that this year was soon coming to an end.