Just a fun little fic about an underappreciated pairing. Ganondorf/Impa is a legitimate pairing and I honestly don’t know why there isn’t more of it out there actually yes I do the answer is ganzel WHICH I AM ALSO TRASH FOR Read under the cut!

The common room in the guard tower was in chaos. More so than usual. It seemed that every off-duty guard and soldier was in the small space, laughing and cheering at the sight before them. Ganondorf, the foreigner warlord, had come into the tower and issued a challenge for anyone to partake in. He promised to pay for any man’s drinks at the tavern all night if they could best him at arm wrestling.

Impa watched as man after man stepped up and took a seat across from the desert king. And time after time each one didn’t last more than a breath before their arm was slapped onto the table. Impa couldn’t help but roll her eyes and another challenger approached the table. Clearly Ganondorf would overpower any of these soldiers. Yet the cheers and shouts coming from the onlookers encouraged them all to try once, twice, as many times as they could until their arms were bruised.

All of the attention was going straight to Ganondorf’s head. His expression and posture was getting more and more inflated with pride as the night wore on. Impa knew she should stay out of things, but it was getting to be too much. Something had to be done about the Gerudo before this became a nightly endeavor for him.

Impa pushed her way through the crowd, earning a few grunts and curses along the way. When the soldiers surrounding the table noticed it was their captain, they moved aside for her to sit down next. She took her place across from Ganondorf and narrowed her eyes at him in a glare.

He smirked at her arrival. “So. What does the infamous captain of the Hylian guard want with me this fine evening?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Impa sneered. “I’m here to put an end to your “reign of terror.”

Ganondorf threw his head back and laughed. “You think you can take me? Not a single soldier here has been able to do it thus far. What makes you think you’ll succeed instead?”

“I wasn’t promoted to captain for nothing. Anyone here can tell you I’m the best warrior in Hyrule.” The men surrounding the table murmured their agreement at her comment. Ganondorf, however, looked just as amused and cocky as he did before.

“I’m still twice your size.” His smirk made Impa’s eye twitch. She had to best him. Even if he was right, and the odds were against her. There was no way she’d lose to him.

“I won’t lose.” Impa narrowed her eyes at him.

Ganondorf grinned. “Then I think this is going to be rather amusing.”

Impa refused to give him the benefit of a response. Ganondorf shifted, better placing himself in his seat. The guards around them shuffled closer, anticipating the match that was about to unfold.

“I promise to go easy on you. How about that?” Ganondorf grinned again.

“I don’t need to be insulted,” Impa spat. “Give me everything you’ve got.

Ganondorf laughed once more, the sound filling the small room. “As you wish.” He placed his elbow on the table, offering his hand to Impa to take. She gripped it tight, settling her arm into place as well. Ganondorf raised an eyebrow at her and smirked. “One,”

“Two,”

“THREE!”

The entire room yelled for the start of the match. Time hung still for just a moment as the two warriors prepared for the most anticipated and intense battle of the night.

*thud*

It was over in an instant. Two arms crashed to one side of the table. Ganondorf’s arm lay flat against the table, with Impa’s holding it there in triumphant victory. But more stunning to everyone watching was how she had overcome the desert king.

In the instant that the match started, Impa had launched herself towards Ganondorf. Their lips were pressed together in an unexpected kiss. Ganondorf’s eyes were wide as saucers, staring down at the Sheikah.

A slow rumble began in the crowed. Before long, the entire watching crowd was either cheering or jeering at the sight of affection before them. Impa smirked against Ganondorf’s mouth before he pulled away, stuttering with confused rage.

“It looks like I won.” Impa teased, gesturing with her free hand to her display of victory.

Ganondorf narrowed his eyes at her. “This wasn’t a fair fight.”

“As a warrior, you should always be prepared for anything.”

Ganondorf’s glare only deepened at Impa’s smug look. Not only had he lost the fight, but he knew that Impa was right, and he was wrong. Truly humiliating in the least.

Ganondorf looked towards the crowed that was continuously growing closer to the two of them.

“Don’t you dogs have anything better to do!?” he barked. Immediately they dispersed, clearing the room in only a matter of moments. Only the two warriors were left still sitting across from one another. Their hands still entwined.

Ganondorf looked back to Impa. If she didn’t know any better, Impa would have said that the Gerudo was actually blushing.

“…I have a request. For another kiss.”

By the goddesses he is blushing.

Stunned, Impa was silent for a moment. With each passing breath Ganondorf seemed to grow a little bolder until he was leaning in, grinning like he’d won all along.

Impa leaned away from him. “You’d have to win a round to earn another kiss.”

“So I challenge you to round two.”

“No, I don’t think so,” she teased.

OOT (plus WW and kind of TP by extension): This is Impgan in its most powerful form. Two people with uncomfortably adjacent trauma and grievances looking at each other like “oh, I know you (derogatory) (affectionate?) (wait—)”. The constant tension of the fact that Ganondorf is always going to act against Hyrule in ways that Impa might want too, but never could, but then it ultimately fucks him over forever, kind of proving her own resigned feelings about fate and the world order. The fact that her loyal to Zelda is going to over power any sympathy or understanding she might find with him every time. The brief period in the castle where maybe she might crack and give in, only to wheel around and completely commit herself to the Hylian cause. Nuclear force break up. Toxic insane psychological warfare cesspit and game of cat and mouse for the next 7 years. She is ACTIVELY SEALING HIM in the sacred realm for centuries after they defeat him. He never gets over her. He’s got fucking Sheikah adjacent flags on the doors to his room in WW he’s cooked forever.

Major’s Mask: I have never forgotten the scrapped fishing hole and I never will Nintendo. In Termina, Impa raises her son Shiek in a quaint with her chill former pirate boyfriend. That’s about it.

EOW: I knowwww that technically in canon, it is in the downfall timeline, but also I don’t really care about that and do what I want. I like the idea that way before Null, Ganondorf was around kind of like he was in FSA , as either a king or a desert guardian, and then ended up on a path toward villainy seeking power, which is how he ended up Big Pig. I like the idea that him and Impa actually had a pretty long period of knowing each other, with her being present for the whole descent into madness arc in a sort of tragic, doomed romance/friendship. I think she would have been well versed in all the legends as a Sheikah, and told to expect that he was going to turn on them, but also she knew him and wanted to believe he would be better. Bonus points if she is the one who seals him away, since Link and Zelda probably were not around. Bonus bonus points if he comes back after Null is defeated —because apparently the Ganon you fight at the beginning is an Echo— and they just have to sit there like. Well. It’s been a while.