#imnothealthy

Friday, 2nd of February* 2018, 11:36 pm

hi.

I didn’t even start writing yet and I’m already struggling. gosh. I keep thinking about how I started my diary entry today like this but I didn’t even get past the date. not even the time- lol i just noticed i forgot the time here too lemme fix that-  i was interrupted by my friend and colleague and former colleague-maybe-still-friend-person and then i already left work. I wasted time like always, i worked out and showered, layed around a bunch to regain some energy (didnt work) then i ate and ever since i have been wasting more time trying to find clothes on an online website that would fit my carnival idea but i only noticed two hours later that the clothes wouldnt arrive in time. 

fml.

.

.

i just drank an apple tea, sitting in an uncomfortable position at the head of my bed. well, tbh it´s more like slouching on my neck somehow. goddamnit my eyes hurt so damn much.

oh, what i just remembered, i kinda left my last entry on a cliffhanger. surprise!- i didnt edit shit but i went to bed late af still :(. i just never learn. and yesterday after a long time at work i got fucking send home because i felt like fainting again. oh yeah btw, im almost fainting on a daily bases these past weeks and if not that my head is killng me or i am lightheaded af. i feel sooo healthy i gotta say, and getting up early af every morning to go and work for a long fucking time is helping my condition so much. yes.

i know that two days ago i talked about my friends and how i want to change myself and care for them more as well, but i gotta say, thats pretty hard when i cant even keep myself from fainting every second.

i wanted to edit the video today and also draw or edit all the photos i have taken recently but im not going to do either now. im dying, i need to lay down, watch something and sleep.

tomorrow i will go out with my best friend and then im going to do all the things that i wanted to do today. lol i might not even go through what i have written just now, im honestly too tired but i guess i gotta.. 

fuck it goodnight.