#imekari

  The game goes much faster than their usual games do. “And that would be my win. We can play again if you would like?”

    “Yes, let’s” 

    “I may be quite the gossip, but for our dear Inquisitor I can hold onto whatever deep dark secret is stewing away in that head of yours. Whatever it is, is causing you to play worse than Cullen.”

    “It’s nothing Dorian, let’s just play.”

    Dorian gasps, thinking he knows that cause of the Inquisitor’s odd behavior. “Is it a crush?! Has our young leader fallen head over heels for a young beau? Come on, who is he?”

    Panic surges in Imekari’s chest, she quickly stands from the table. “Actually, I’m not feeling too well. I’m going to go… lie down. I-I’ll see you tomorrow.”

    Before he can even start to apologize for teasing, she’s already rushing out of the garden. Dorian stands puzzled, trying to understand what could be upsetting the Inquisitor so much.

    “Wrong, wrong, I love wrong. I AM wrong. Should I tell him? Of course I shouldn’t. What if he’ll hate me now? What if the Maker hates me now? They’ll kick me out if they know. I have to hide it down and never say anything, maybe it will go away.” 

    It’s like he’s thrown back in time, back in his room in Minrathous a scared young man again. Turning to find the source of the voice, Dorian finds Cole standing behind the seat Imekari had just been in. “Cole, I understand that you want to help, but that is an old hurt that I don’t need to be poked at, thank you very much.”

    “No, not your hurt. Hers.”

    Dorian finally understands. “Cole, why don’t you let me handle this okay?”

    “But I can help.”

    “I’m sure you can Cole, but I believe it might be better if I were to talk to her about it. Alright?” When he gets a nod from Cole, he heads to the Main Hall and then up the stairs to Imekari’s private quarters.

    At the final door, he knocks, but there is no answer so he lets himself in. She is nowhere to be found and he thinks maybe she’s hiding somewhere else. Then he hears sniffling from the balcony. Sitting with her head pressed against the stone railing and legs dangling over the edge, sits the leader of the Inquisition, the Herald of Andraste, an over 6-foot qunari, looking so small, so scared. His heart breaks for her.

    “So, clearly things aren’t fine. Full disclosure, Cole popped up the moment you ran off trying to help so I heard some of it.” He pauses, seeing if she may say something. “I was able to convince him that his helping might not be the best for this situation. Riddles never straightened anything out.” He chuckles then clears his throat realizing now may not be the best time for quips. He’s never done this before, never been a confidant, an advisor. “Imekari, if you want to talk…” The offer hangs in the air but goes unanswered. Finally, he sighs and starts to turn away, “I will not force you. But you know where I’ll be if you ever do want to.” 

    “When did you know?” her voice is quiet and hoarse.

    “Pardon?”

    She clears her throat and turns to look Dorian in the eyes. “When did you know that you liked men?”

Dorian makes his way next to the balcony and settles down beside her, looking out over the mountains as he talks, “Hmm, well, I think part of me always knew, I believe I was 12 when I started to really question. But when I knew? I was 15, there was a young man at the Circle I attended, Matthaeus was his name, I was head over heels after our first class together. Didn’t work out, of course, first loves rarely do. But after that, I knew.” He turns and meets her eyes, and his heart breaks. Seeing the same fear he had at that age reflected back at him; on the face of a young woman that’s pushed her way into a special part of his heart no less. 

“Imekari, you do not have to talk about it if you do not want to, but I will always be here for you. There’s nothing you could do or be that could possibly make me care less about you. Unless you start dressing in as much plaid weave as Sera, I may have to disown you at that point.” That earns him a laugh that sets his heart at ease.

Imekari shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath, “I like girls. I like them in the way I’m supposed to like boys.”

“You’re not supposed to anything. You just like girls, and that is perfectly alright. There’s nothing wrong, you just do.”

A noise sounds in Imekari’s throat and she’s unable to stop herself from the tears that flood down her face. Dorian is quick to wrap her in his arms, letting her sob into his shoulder. They sit there and as she cries out every ounce of fear that filled her, he rubs calming circles on her back and he can’t quite help a few tears of his own. It takes a few minutes but eventually she’s left with only quiet sniffles.

“Feeling better now?”

“Yes, much better. Sorry for the waterworks.”

“No need to apologize, just don’t go around telling everyone how sappy I was, reputations you know.”

Imekari chuckles, “I promise. Thank you, Dorian.”

“You’re very welcome my dear. Now, enough blubbering, I must ask again, is there a young lady here in Skyhold that has sent our Inquisitor’s heart aflutter?”

“Well, umm, I…” Imekari stumbles for words as she very quickly turns red.