#imconfuse

Gotta give a bit of a warning, following is gonna contain Manga spoilers. 

I just can’t tell what I think about Erwin though. My best friend and his girlfriend just finished season 2 and I was like “oh hey imma go and watch episode 37 again.”. 

And like, I just don’t know. All these years I haven’t even tried thinking about that because I didn’t really care much for the veterans cuz, Jean was my child. But now, having caught up with the manga, and also season 2 I just don’t know. 

My first impression of Erwin was like “Well, he’s pretty much your typical commander, looking pretty cool, but there isn’t really much to him.”. Then I watched the Levi OVA, and will admit, I didnt pay much attention to what happened after Levi went rampage mode, so I didn’t really know what Erwin actually did. 

Now when season 2 started airing, nothing really changed about what I was thinking, Levi was still kinda uninteresting to me as much as Erwin. Until Erwin got a tiny bit of action and character development. That’s kinda where I was like “Damn, Erwin finally in action, maybe he isn’t as boring as I thought he is.” Lasted exactly until Hanji and Connie tell Erwin and Levi about the possibility of Titans being actually humans. 

While Levi FINALLY shows that he basically cares for everyone, not only his comrades, realising and feeling kinda bad for killing all these people. Erwin sits there, with this massive creep smile only caring about getting a step closer to the truth. 

Eventually, we get to know about his intentions and his past and goal etc, and I was like “Well fuck this, how selfish is this motherfucker”, rethinking it, that’s dumb and shouldnt really matter, his goal was still a thing the Survey Corps and humanity had in common with him. But somehow, he still did it for himself and well, maybe his father and his own justice, not even knowing what he’s gonna do when he reaches his goal. 

When Levi actually asks him, what Erwin’s gonna do after he has seen the basement, he just says “I don’t know”. Just “I don’t know”. There is no “I will continue leading mankind to victory.”, I mean that’s kinda where he realises himself, that he’s been a massive fucking asshole, leading all these people into death for his own good. I mean, realising your mistakes is a really nice thing, and I love when those moments happen. But thinking about it, he just realised it, knowing, he will die today. Would he have ever come to realise this if he wasn’t about to die? I JUST DONT FUCKING KNOW THIS MAN CONFUSES ME