#imaginebuck

Buck introducing Eddie to Carla + bonus 

4.06 Jinx / 4.14 Survivors

28 - feeling for each other in the dark for Buddie?

Thank you so much ♥️

28 - feeling for each other in the dark for Buddie

Buck was cold. It was the first thing that popped into his head as the reasoning for his being awake. Or... well not quite awake. Conscious but resentfully. It was still dark. The kind of dark where everything was still shadowed to prove that it was the middle of the night and no one should be awake.

Too dark and too cold.

Buck sighed as he reached back, searching for the heat that seemed to endlessly roll of Eddie’s skin like he brought the Texas sun with him when he moved. His hand skimmed across cold sheets and the whine in the back of his throat was thick with sleep.

The thing about being over six foot and sharing a bed with a man who was also six foot, in order for them to sleep comfortably and not diagonally with the threat of one of them falling off, they needed a pretty big bed. And normally, Buck loved their bed. Loved their bed. But in the middle of the night? When he was cold? And cranky?

It was too big and there was too much space where Eddie had gone missing across the miles and miles mattress.

But Eddie only rolled over to the end of the mattress if he had a nightmare and didn't want to wake Buck up. It was silly because Buck would much rather be woken up because Eddie needed him than to wake up to find that Eddie had rolled away from him. But then again, Buck couldn't judge. His nightmares were just as bad.

But where Buck's nightmares were all consuming, the kind that kicked him into consciousness and left his throat raw from silent screams that bleated out into whimpers in his sleep, Eddie's were still and quiet. He woke up with a sharp inhale and went stiff. Too stiff for it to wake Buck up. Then he would roll to the other end of the bed in some stupid noble way to swallow his fear and hope that Buck wouldn't notice.

He did. The bed was too cold and too big without Eddie at his back. Buck noticed every time.

One of these days he'll get Eddie to see that Buck would cross a thousand minefields of hidden traumas if it meant he could help somehow.

Buck sighed and rolled over to see. Sure enough, he saw the outline of Eddie in the dark at the far end of the other side. His chest rose and fell in the lulling rhythm of his breathing so at least he'd fallen back asleep. That was good. Well... not good but Buck was too tired to think anymore.

He reached out, stretching his arm across the wide chasm of space between them until his hand found Eddie's wrist. A pulse fluttered beneath his finger tips and he curled his hands down to tangle their fingers together.

Buck shuffled across the bed and Eddie sighed in his sleep as he felt the movement. It was a practiced move. A muscle memory response by now. One they had perfected long ago and would continue to do so for many more nights Buck was sure. Eddie muttered under his breath and lifted his arm for Buck to curl up into his side, tucking his face into the hollow of his throat, and tossing an arm over his waist. Eddie liked to feel the weight of Buck on him when the nightmares were bad enough. Not at his back. Always his chest. Like his own personal weighted blanket. Buck was more than happy to oblige.

He kissed Eddie's throat and tangled their legs.

Eddie kissed the crown of Buck's head in return.

"Sorry," Eddie muttered, still half asleep.

What if he start say

"Buck? Buck? Why are you covered in blood? What happened?"

You know. I kind of wanted to yell at you for this, but now you have me thinking.

Because yeah though. He’s probably too disorientated and in shock to even feel the pain. He wouldn’t even really be registering what’s going on around him.

So with Buck hovering over him, he’ll definitely register Buck first, and as we all know, Buck’s covered in Eddie’s blood.

So could you just imagine Buck trying to get him to stop talking and frantically applying pressure to the wound while Eddie is just so out of it. And he’s trying to reach his hand up to touch Buck’s face because Buck’s bleeding isn’t he? He’s injured. Eddie should help him.

Eddie is totally dazed and trying to ask “Where does it hurt, Buck?” while Buck is just frantically trying to stop Eddie from dying.

And Buck tries to explain that he’s not the one injured as more and more of Eddie’s blood gets all over him.

But Eddie can’t comprehend it.

          “Did you know that some types of seals can hold their breath for two hours?”

           Eddie smiled fondly at Buck’s inane chatter, listening intently to whatever facts Buck had picked up on his trip down this particular Wikipedia rabbit hole.  Eddie found it as charming as he did quirky that Buck was so invested in fact-finding as a way of dealing with trauma.  If his current level of involvement in his research was anything to go by, Eddie could only imagine what Buck had gone through on the previous night’s shift.  He knew there had been a water rescue and that it had shaken Buck up enough that Hen had noticed and sent Eddie a heads-up text, but he didn’t know the details.  He also didn’t care to pry; Eddie knew Buck would open up about it when he was ready.

           “They can drop their heart rates to ten beats per minute and use ninety percent of the oxygen molecules bound to their hemoglobin.”

           “I think you might’ve missed your calling as a biologist,” Eddie teased lightly.

           Buck rolled his eyes and continued scrolling on his phone, committing the new information to memory as the scents of garlic, cumin, and chili swirled in the air.  He hadn’t been hungry even moments before, but the aroma wafting in from where Eddie was making dinner made his stomach growl and he pocketed his phone, his curiosity getting the better of him.  Stretching as he stood, Buck made his way into the kitchen and leaned against the counter next to the stove, watching Eddie stir the peppers and onions in the frying pan.

           “Can I help?”

           Eddie shook his head, glancing up at Buck with a smile.  He leaned into Buck’s space, brushing a soft kiss over the other man’s lips.

           “I’m almost done,” Eddie assured him.  “But you can let Chris know dinner’s ready.”

           Buck nodded, reaching out and giving Eddie’s arm a gentle squeeze on his way by.  The contact was part gratitude, part appreciation, and part affection.  Buck drew strength from the brief touch, letting it carry him down the hall toward Christopher’s room.  

           A few minutes later, Buck was preceded into the dining room by a giggling Christopher. He pulled a chair out for Chris, helping him get settled before joining Eddie back in the kitchen.  Eddie was just finishing plating dinner, and Buck carried everything out to the table as Eddie switched to grabbing drinks.  Buck took a seat opposite Christopher, leaving the spot at the head of the table next to them open for Eddie.

           Eddie joined them moments later, setting a glass of milk down next to Christopher’s plate and holding a beer out to Buck.  Buck smiled gratefully, grasping the bottle and taking a sip as Eddie doubled back for napkins he’d forgotten to grab.

           “So Christopher was just telling me that they’re learning all about stars and planets at school this week,” Buck offered, striking up a conversation to fill the silence.

           “That sounds exciting,” Eddie said warmly.

           “Dad, did you know that the sun is a star?”  Christopher asked, his voice full of wonder.  “And that there are eight planets in our solar system?”

           “That’s really interesting, mijo,” Eddie praised as he rejoined them, setting down the napkins.  He reached out to ruffle Christopher’s hair, his heart full of love for both his son and his boyfriend as it dawned on him how similar they were in their love of knowledge.  On reflex, he reached out and patted Buck’s head, too, feeling a flush rise in his cheeks as Buck looked at him curiously.  The two men glanced at each other, then at Christopher, and exchanged smiles.

           “You know, Buck knows a lot about space,” Eddie began as he took his spot at the head of the table.  “I bet he’d love to tell you all about it.”

           Christopher’s eyes brightened as he looked at Buck.

           “Really?”

           Buck nodded, chewing the bite of chicken he’d just put in his mouth before speaking.

           “What do you want to know?”

           Eddie watched the two of them as they launched into an animated exchange, feeding off each other’s enthusiasm and trading facts as their dinners cooled.  Every time he thought he couldn’t possibly love the two of them any more, a moment like this one proved him wrong.  With a shake of his head, Eddie tucked into his food, listening and learning some new facts from both of his boys along the way.

Mood board for The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

[1.3k words | Eddie Centric | Grief] 

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Thanks to my lovely @shannon-diaz for the url ♥