Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am really honored that I got the chance to do this request. I hope to God I made it right and help you through it, nonny. You can all request imagines anytime and I’ll do my best to do them all. ♥
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
My name is Lanna and I own the imaginaryharry blog since December, 2nd, 2013. It's been a year and a month since I started, but for the past four months I've been away.
This is me explaining what happened from the bottom of my heart. It's not easy for me and it shows a very personal side of me that I'm not used to sharing, so I ask you, as a friend, to be gentle with my heart.
I'm apologizing in advance for the long post, but if you read it all I'll love you forever.
Okay... Here we go.
Since I came back, I read around 300 messages in my ask box. All of them where asking me where I've been, worried to death if I was okay. I only saw them after months and it broke my heart that I made you this worried. It was never my intention, but sometimes life gets hard and we can't handle it.
If you have been with me since the beggining or so, you know that I'm a sucker for making these tons of projects for you guys. Imagines, one shots, song fics, etc. I always came up with a new and fun way to write you lovely stories and you loved it, so I kept doing it.
Also, if you've been here for a long time you know that from time to time I struggled with writter's block. So, lots of projects + writer's block = problem.
Still, you've been nothing but kind and understanting with me. I mean, writer's block is something normal to have when creating new stories, specially when you'd do it as much as I was doing. Eventually, you run out of ideas.
I took a few breaks along the way and I felt better for a short period of time, soon to have this same problem again.
Don't get me wrong, I love writing. It's something that makes me so happy I can't even describe it to you. Just the thought of making you guys happy with something I create makes my whole world. It's an unbelievable feeling and I couldn't feel happier while doing it.
The thing is... I was disappointed with myself several times for not being able to deliver stories on schedule or to always makes promises that I couldn't keep.
The promises... They were truthful from the start, but my brain didn't feel like cooperating, so I kept breaking them regularly.
I'm not very fond of people who break promises, so I took that in a bad way. I was harsh with myself and felt horrible. Every day I felt worse and worse, incapable, with no talent, a waste of space.
Here's the tricky part, the personal part that will make me incredibly vulnerable in your eyes, but since I'm facing my demons and trying to be a better person, I feel like you should know.
I've struggled with depression since I was 16. Now, being 21, I'm better, but not cured. I have periods of times when I'm feeling really good and then periods of times when I feel like a complete mess.
Now you can imagine what those feelings of failure did to my depressed mind.
It came down to a time where I was so ashamed for failing you that I couldn't even get on tumblr. I didn't even log in.
Then college happened, lots of tasks to make me busy and keep my mind away from everything. It wasn't easy being there too, having to create just as much and work just as much.
Either way, I did lose.
When I woke up from this nightmare it was the end of november. I missed being here like hell and I couldn't believe I let myself get lost like that.
Took me a lot of fight to get out of that whole and to come back here. Even more to face you and tell you all of this. It still does take all of me.
I love this blog and I love every single one of you. You've been so supportive and caring, making me love writing even more than I already did. Writing imagines about Harry made me feel inspired not only by him, but by all of you. Every message you sent me showing me how much my work has affected you has changed a bit of me and it wasn't in vain, it did actually help me through the depressive times.
But sometimes, depression is way too strong and it takes time to heal.
So... This is me being real, being human and flawed. I'm not a magical unicorn that writes stories to give you feels (as much as I wanted to because that sounds awesome), but I'm a girl in front of a computer typing on a keyboard and trying to think of the best way to describe the way that Harry would look at you and make you feel like the most beautiful piece of art ever made.
It's been hard for me and I've cried plenty this past few months, but I'm here today, humbly asking for your forgiveness and to have another chance to make good stories for you all.
Still, as I told you I'm back to writing everything, I'm not making the same mistakes, okay? I'm taking things slow, very slow, too see how I feel with everything and to be able to make the best work I can.
I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you can understand and I hope to God that you'll let me make you smile once again.
Thank you for reading all of this, I know it's a lot. I love you.
