#imababy

07/06/2020

Its been days! Nine entire days since I've even talked to my best friend and I don't even know any more. All this time I've been thinking I don't need him. I don't need to be treated like some once a month let's have dinner and then get flaked on friend. I'm worth more than that! I have feelings and I'm not needy! I'm not stupid for wanting to hang out with my best friend at least once a week! My feelings matter damn it and I don't appreciate them being written off as needy! I fucking matter!!!

And now I'm laying here in bed debating. I lost my best friend before thinking that way. Thinking that if she really cared she'd come for me... But this time I don't want to sit here and wait, hoping that he'll care enough to look for me first. What if he takes it the wrong way and it is the end? I'm so close to just going to his house and crying and saying that I do miss him and I just want us to be normal. I'm at the point where I'm so close to not even caring if everyone thinks I'm dumb for it or if even he thinks I'm pitiful. I'll take any scraps I can get at this point. I just miss him!!! I miss his stupid laugh and his annoying tendencies and I miss his dumb shaking leg. I miss watching RuPaul and eating Pho. I miss our drives and I miss eating at Las Fresas! I miss holding his hand and I miss teasing him because I demand hugs!!!