Dear Steph circa July 2009:
Let me start off with the good news: in 2014, youâre alive and happier than youâve ever been.
Youâve just gotten a diagnosis now that is going to make you feel very misunderstood and like you donât fit correctly into society, but the fact is that itâs not like that at all. Itâs just part of what makes you who you are, and in late 2010 when you start blogging about having Aspergerâs youâll start to realize how itâs not a limitation at all.
Youâre also going to get your OCD under control. Itâs going to take a lot of work and youâre still going to battle with it when youâre under a lot of stress, but youâre going to beat it and youâll be so happy when you do. Youâre still working on your social anxiety - sorry, you still havenât been kissed in June 2014 - but youâre less nervous around boys your age now than you used to be, and youâve learned to accept that youâre not ugly. In fact, you think youâre really cute now and think any boy would be lucky to have you, but not in an arrogant way - youâre confident in yourself and itâs wonderful!
Murphy is well in 2014, although heâs 17 pounds now. Heâs so happy to have you and he grows up to be a loving, affectionate adult cat, but he still wonât shut up. Heâll have a health scare in July of 2013, but he survives because you trust your instincts and get him to the hospital late at night, so donât worry too much. Youâre a great mom.
Abigailâs going to leave the family in March of 2010, so be prepared for that because itâs going to be very sudden. Youâll be dogless until August of 2011 because Tom is going to convince Mom and Dad that the family needs an Old English Sheepdog. Spoiler alert: you get two of them.
I know your biggest concern at the moment is that friendship thatâs been testing you lately. Itâs emotionally abusive, but definitely unintentionally so. Nevertheless, sheâs not going to get the help she needs until youâre gone, so as soon as you graduate youâre going to start distancing yourself until you cut off contact completely. Itâll make you anxious at first, but youâll succeed, and itâll be better for her, too. Youâre just not right for each other as friends. Things are going to get really tough in 2010 and 2011 as you try to help her help herself, but itâll be no use so youâre going to have to put yourself first on this one. With the help of both group and solo therapy, youâll learn how to do it - and youâll get really good at it. No social skills my ass.
Seriously, in 2012 you become a tour guide, and in 2013 you start grad school. Youâre going to go far in the next 5 years.
As I write this to you, itâs a day before the AMNH internship youâre going to get starts. Yes, youâve done it - that thing youâve wanted since you were 4! Itâs unpaid, but grad students canât be choosers. Just remember that youâve got this to look forward to, okay?
Actually, youâve got so much to live for, and live you will. I promise.
